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The Process of "Becoming Fearless"

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The title of Arianna's book, On Becoming Fearless, couldn't be any more perfect. Those three words imply that becoming fearless is a process. Thank goodness for that, since there are some days when I am nothing more than a quivering ball of fear and chastise myself for not "being" fearless.

When I'm feeling apprehensive, I try to remember Arianna's triumphant story, as well as others who have managed to overcome uphill battles and, eventually, I break through the wall. But then, ever so subtly and subversively, bricks of fear begin to pile up and once again I find that I must continue to work on becoming fearless. I tell myself that I cannot give up investing in my writing career while trying not to get anxious as my savings account dwindles. I tell myself that no writer ever becomes an overnight success -- even those who are "overnight successes."

I also remind myself not to forget to glance back on occasion and look down the road that I've already traveled. Divorce is never easy, but I know that with divorce comes not only freedom from mental abuse but the need to rely on myself without having someone there to catch me. I no longer live in the financial comfort zone I once did, but I don't regret that decision, and now that I look back, I realize that it was my first giant step toward becoming fearless. Throw in the mix the need to find a new home while getting my "baby" off to college and discovering a lump in my breast, all within the same timeframe -- I cannot forget that yesterday's journey was not smooth, but I manage to keep going. I believe that is where "process" comes in.

The important thing is, I am going forward, sometimes with tear-filled doubts, but life is too short not to demand more from and for myself. Had I decided to remain paralyzed by the unknown, I wouldn't be able to distinguish the difference between fearlessness and uncertainty.

If you haven't already visited our new Becoming Fearless section, click here for more blog posts, news stories, and special features on relationships, work, parenting, health, sex . . . life.

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