The SlutWalk came to D.C. Unfortunately I missed it. If I didn't have a conflict, I would have been there, not in a short skirt or highheels, but in my clergy collar.
Why? Because the Slutwalk is a protest against a rape culture. Women are speaking out against the understanding with which many of us live -- if you've been raped, molested, abused, or betrayed then you must have done something to deserve it.
Christianity has often perpetuated the myth of female condemnation which can include sexual violence, among many other things. From the genesis of time, the woman eats the fruit, the man follows, and the woman is marked as the temptress. Whether we are talking about Eve, Bathsheba, Jezebel, the woman at the well, or Mary Magdalene, we have dressed women up as tempters, and told stories of how women are not only responsible for their actions, but for the actions of men as well.
The curse we've lived under is real. I can picture women in my mind who have not only been victims of sexual violence or betrayal, but as they sorted out their circumstances, their churches have harmed them again by heaping blame upon them.
A woman got drunk, and a man raped her. She believed it was her fault because she shouldn't have had so much to drink. A woman who ended an evening out with a man, who forgot to tell her that he was married. She thought that she was to blame, because she shouldn't have gotten caught up in the romance of the evening. A woman's husband cheated on her. She assumed that she caused the infidelity because she was not attentive enough to her husband in the bedroom.
These messages are often communicated to us from the time we are in youth group, especially in the rise of chastity movements. We were taught to never wear anything suggestive, because we have a responsibility to keep men from thinking sexual thoughts. If something brutal happened to us, and we finally gained enough courage to tell our horror story, someone would ask us, "What were you wearing? Were you drinking?" In other words, "What were you doing to cause this to happen?" I have encountered far too many religious leaders who ask questions that have indicated that the culpability originates with the woman. She is somehow responsible for the action.
Even ten years after youth group, when I was in seminary, I was taught that I needed to wear a collar under my big black academic robe as I preached, or else men would not think about the sermon, they would imagine what was under my massive garb. The robe looks like something you would wear at your high school graduation. I basically wear a tent to preach. But that wasn't enough, because somehow, I should be responsible for the thoughts that someone might have when they see four inches of my neck.
It's time for our religious communities to acknowledge the ways in which we have contributed to a rape culture -- the ways in which we blame women as we proclaim our narratives, ask our questions, and teach our teenagers. And it's time for us to stand with women who have had enough.
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I'm glad there are people like you to help others achieve awareness in matters like these. Thanks for caring about people.
I remember seeing this sort of thing exist as a child. In primary school, it was funny to "pantz" someone, or tug down at their pants quickly from behind, you know?—in a teasing way, almost like a wedgie but not so bully-ish.
So when my twelve year old male cousin playfully "pantzed" my twelve year old sister, I was expecting my grandmother (who'd watched it all go down, so to speak) yell at my cousin. Naturally. Instead, she spanked my sister and commanded her to go put on "less revealing" pants???
It didn't make sense to me when I was eleven; it sure as hell doesn't make much sense to me now...
But my grandmother (may her soul rest in peace) was a product of a pervasive Catholic atmosphere and a paternalistic time period and culture. Are we still living in a paternalistic time and culture? I don’t know. I really don’t yet. I do believe society has made progress in the way of feminism, gender equality, what-have-you… But to ignore the fact that problems still exist in certain regions and among certain demographics is to rewind the progress we've made thus far, or at least to place progress to a silent halt.
I believe blame for these situations does go to the aggressors (men in this case), but women STILL need to be looking out for themselves.
Ideally, I should be able to walk around Oakland at night with a wad of cash in hand without fear of being robbed or murdered. Unfortunately, reality isn't ideal. What this means for me is that I should be very careful while handling money, and try to avoid walking alone at night in Oakland. And what this means for women is that "hey, there are some bad people out there, maybe I shouldn't get blindingly drunk at the drop of a hat".
Again, the bulk of the work here still falls in the hands of men: we need to work toward a society where women can be themselves without fear for their safety. We need to teach boys that it's not okay because she was drunk. We need to change a lot of things. However, until this actually happens, women are just going to have to watch their own backs.
Yes your actions, dress, and behavior do have some impact on the people around you this requires a young women make some wise choices to protect themselves.
Men do have self control but they don't have control over all other men so you can't rely on society to prevent all threats to your safety no matter your gender.
Blaming men won't keep you safe, it's just a way to alleviate guilt. Your still going to have guilt whenever something awful happens and you think you could have done something to prevent it. It's a human response.
You might want to thoughtfully consider just why we are burdening girls with feelings of "guilt" when they are attacked. Robbery victims may be given advice about how they can increase security and protect against future robberies, but nobody expects them to feel "guilty" for "enticing the robber".
It isn't the last 50 years that have "made objects of women". It's the millennia and the dominant patriarchal paradigm prior to the last 50 years that "made objects of women".
I for one will take the last 50 years in history, rather than all the time of recorded history beforehand, where women were nothing more than property, broodmares, objects, slaves, utilities, and could never expect to be anything more than property, broodmares, objects, slaves, utilities.
And we all have to learn how to live with each other. Agape others all the time, no ands, no ifs, no buts.
An open top button is not an open invitation and the fact that people need to be told this is saddening to say the least. Nobody and I mean nobody has the right to someone else’s body and I mean never and never and never freakin’ ever.
Dressing in floor length prairie dresses of the 1800s variety doesn't stop Warren Jeffs and his fellow radical fundamentalist freaks from raping and sexually assaulting the women.
Dressing in burquas doesn't stop Middle Eastern radical fundamentalist freaks from raping and sexually assaulting the women.
So much for your BS "theory".