Through Kenny's Eyes

12/30/2010 06:35 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Today I find myself lifted into God's Light as I unveil the first four pages of a manuscript called "Through Kenny's Eyes." It's taken several weeks of viewing Kenny's photographs to find the right portrait of him to open the book. What was I looking for among the many photos of him throughout the years? I was told that in spirit he is his youthful, strong, healthy self and to imagine him that way when I want to touch into his soul. And I would add, as I often remarked to him, he was my "tall, smart, witty, sexy," and yes, "strong and healthy hero." This portrait was taken in 1979 and conveys not only those attributes but also his friendly, helpful, always smiling, light-hearted nature. Oh yes, he had his dark moments, but that's not who he is. Who he really is mirrors the attributes of the soul and uplifts those around him.


See what I mean?! This is how I see him as I'm learning to refine my ranging into the spiritual realms in order to meet Kenny where he is. The dual outcome will be not only to meet him where he is, but to be more closely in touch with my own soul. To uncover the joy and all the good things of the soul. To live them consciously. To be able to share what I'm doing so anyone else can do the same thing.

Before I close this post, I want you to know that I just found an unpublished piece that Kenny wrote on Feb. 10, 2010, about six weeks before he took his final breath. Here it is, a remarkable observation of where he saw himself physically and how he experienced himself spiritually. My hero indeed.

Kenny said:

I look at my future now and I see that my physical body is very close to dropping into the Well of the Souls. There are so many signs of deterioration, degeneration and decaying my body that it's a wonder I'm still walking around. I'm pretty sure that my oncologist has seen melanoma take down so many people that he has formed a picture of what it looks like at each step along the way, and has a head movie of the "Melanoma Melodrama" from start to finish. The finish looks the same whether patients opt for chemotherapy or not. The only differences are:

  1. How long it takes to die, and that is measured in one, two, three months, etc.
  2. How ugly the dead patient is. More ugly with chemo.
  3. The quality of life the patient enjoyed or endured. Chemo patients sometimes unwittingly, and perhaps sometimes, in an effort to avoid pain or increase security, have chosen a path of suffering that actually makes life less attractive than the release from the concentrated body pain currently going on.
As one who never opted for any form of chemo, I can say that my quality of life has steeply increased as my disease has steadily progressed. I feel as though I am among the "Living Free". I have so little standing between me and my awareness of God, that practically all I see is beauty. I take meds to control the pain, and I handle the basic body functions to keep it going, and my consciousness dances free in the Light of God.

I'll see you all next time. And if you would, send lots of good energy to the writing of the book that I hope will tell Kenny's and my story in such a way that it will help many people through what has been designed by God to be the most glorious journey of our lives. God bless you and may you have the most joyful season of giving and of birth and rebirth.

To read more about Ken's experience with Conscious Dying and Carol's accounts of caring for him, grieving for him and learning to lift into Spirit where he now resides, log onto Also there you'll find some more delightful photos.