1) You have the ability to listen to Slate's Gabfest while simultaneously composing a blog post, madly consuming internet news and beating the heck out of JabbaTheHutt420 at online Scrabble.
2) At different intervals in your non-cyber life, you've found yourself with a strange desire to press "Command-F" to find things and to Force Quit when the going got tough.
3) You often wake at night, dry-mouthed, just dying to know what new hijinks Lady Gaga is up to.
4) You privately believe you could tweet your way out of an alien abduction.
5) Your significant other has threatened to leave you if you don't stop carrying that Manga love pillow around, even though you've patiently explained that at least you stopped taking your virtual girlfriend to expensive hotels.
6) You have recently purchased fancy gloves to hide the claws your hands have become, even with your pricey ergonomic keyboard.
7) Once the whole love pillow/virtual girlfriend thing cleared up, your significant other still felt that you were cheating... with your Mac. You weren't worried. You suggested online couple's therapy.