Faith and family motivate Candace Cameron Bure. "I pray. A lot. That's how I handle any anxiety or worry I have about my kids and everything in life," she says.
Bure is comfortable being outspoken and honest about her beliefs, which is one of the things that brought her so much attention recently as guest co-host of ABC's The View. "I loved co-hosting The View and can definitely see a co-hosting job in my future. Things are in the works -- stay tuned," she says.
Well-known for her role as D. J. Tanner on the long-running TV series, Full House, Bure is all grown up, with three children of her own: Maksim, 12-years-old; Lev, 14-years-old; and Natasha, 16-years-old. She married her husband NHL star Val Bure in 1996.
Bure has continued acting, as well as producing and writing. The New York Times' bestselling author currently is working on her third book and is set to produce and star in a series of mystery movies for the Hallmark Movie Channel, which she starts filming this fall.
I caught up with Bure for some in-depth questions about parenting and how she handles the difficult issues facing kids today.
What is the best advice about parenting you have received?
Be consistent with your children. Let your "yes" mean yes and your "no" mean no. Putting boundaries in place for them to guide them is one of the most loving things you can do.
What is your biggest frustration as a parent and what is your biggest joy?
My longest running frustration as a parent is organized sports on Sunday mornings. I wish there were laws in place to respect church time and not start sports practices or games until noon. My biggest joy as a parent is cheering my kids on. I love watching them have joy in whatever they do whether it's school, playing with friends, sports and the arts.
How does your faith affect the way you parent?
My Christian faith is the foundation of how I parent. Our source for how we parent is biblically based.
Has your daughter come up against any "mean girls"? How do you tell her to handle mean girls?
She has. I always tell her to extend kindness as hard as it is to do. Meanness usually stems from jealousy or insecurity and I've talked to her about looking to find the root of their meanness. If kindness doesn't work, I tell her just to ignore or avoid them because it's attention that mean girls are seeking. If you don't feed into it by giving them what they want, they'll eventually move on.
How do you handle social media with your kids?
The rules have changed over time, but as of now, my 14 and 16 year old have public social media. My 12 year old is not on any social media. He can have it when he starts high school like the others.
I've taught my kids that there is a great responsibility that comes with social media. The world is watching and you can't take anything back once it's posted so be wise! We have boundaries on types of poses or pictures that can't be posted, as well as language, and consequences if they aren't adhered to.
As the parent of teenagers, are you concerned about drugs and alcohol and hook-up culture? Do you talk with them about these things?
Of course, what parent doesn't worry about that stuff? I'm less worried about drugs and alcohol than I am with the hook-up culture, because I think we talk about the effects of drugs and underage drinking so much they totally get it, and at this point, it's easier to see the tendencies your children have in whether or not they want to explore it. I know I never got into drugs because my dad told me over and over how terrible it was, that I never had the desire. I hope the same is true for my kids too.
The hook-up culture however is a great concern. Obviously, it's something we talk a lot about as well, but I think the pressure is so great for teens out there to have sex. And when emotions and hormones get involved, it's that much tougher to stick to your guns on your moral commitments and decisions. This is something I pray about a lot for my kids.
What is your parenting style? Does it match your husband's style?
I'd say I'm strict, but not overly. As my kids are getting older, the boundaries are expanding and I have to let them make their own decisions and even fail, which I do. My husband is very strict and regimented. I'd say we definitely have the same style and are on the same page about how we parent, but I'm definitely the softer of the two.
What is the secret to your marriage?
Respect, love, kindness, communication and sex.
Is there something as a mom that you're doing that you don't see other moms doing -- something that's unique to you?
Work out with my kids. I mean, you see it sometimes, but we've been working out together since they were about 6-years-old.
How does the way you were parented affect your parenting? What are the values you most want to pass on to your kids?
I have a great relationship with my parents and am very close to them. They are wonderful parents and I think they did a fantastic job raising us four kids. I look up to my parents as role models in the parenting department and do many of the same things with my children that my parents taught me.
The values I want to pass on to my children are to love the Lord with all their heart first and foremost, to be kind, loving, respectful, to have a servants heart and put others before themselves.
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