THE BLOG

7 Boomer-Oriented Inventions That Would Improve Life

07/25/2012 11:26 am ET | Updated Sep 24, 2012

Baby Boomers are "amongst the first to grow up genuinely expecting the world to improve with time," according to Wikipedia. So true. As a Boomer, I have witnessed monumental changes since my childhood (the resurgence of bald eagles, TiVo and chip clips, to name a few). Still, there are gaps. In the interest of continuing to improve my life, and the lives of millions of other Boomers, I hope to see the following ideas developed.

Food Court
Justice is served in this court of law, where a harsh and punitive judge arbitrates our food-related claims against grocery stores. These claims include: Items marked for sale on the shelves that ring up full price at the register, purchases of mealy apples and outdated dairy and overstuffed grocery bags that cause lower-back pain when a shopper transfers them from shopping cart to trunk, or trunk to kitchen. Reality TV series optional.

Pill Box 8
This pill pox features eight little compartments, as opposed to the traditional seven, so that when we travel, we can easily pack medications needed only on occasion.

Cow Cam
Enough already with the Doppler radars and yackity forecasts. A quick look at the Cow Cam provides all the weather information most of us need to plan our day, and possibly with greater accuracy. All cows standing in their pasture? Sunny skies. All cows lying down? Low pressure front approaching, so pack your umbrella. Half up, half down? Fifty percent chance of rain.

Mulch-o-matic
Trucks pull up to our houses each spring. Using long, wide hoses, the drivers spray mulch directly onto our planting beds, eliminating the need for wheelbarrows, shovels and ibuprofen.

Bipartisan Book Group
An Old Testament God would be tempted to level fireballs from the sky at our non-cooperative politicians. In lieu of smiting, behold the bipartisan book group, a monthly get-together in which politicians meet in the House of Representatives cafeteria and discuss each month's pick. The duties of book selection and snacks alternate between parties.

Cum Latte
This coffeehouse chain serves college campuses, with a "latte" support for Boomers. Eligible for a free beverage every semester are the following: any parent with a child in college, any adult who is taking college courses and any middle-aged professor with an overall rating of 3.75 or above on Ratemyprofessor.com.

Morris Toad
That morning in Wart's Pond, I watched helplessly as the net scooped up Mom. Had I known how to croak "SOS," I may have saved the others, begins this children's book. The titular toad teaches our own little tadpoles ways by which we elders have communicated prior to Facebook, including cursive writing, the printed word, in-person verbal exchanges and, of course, Morse code.