A Plea to Oscar Host Hugh Jackman: Less Johnny Carson, More Wolverine

I like Hugh Jackman, really. Enough to forgive him Australia. But this year's Oscar host seems to be heading in a disastrous retro direction, even as he and the show's new producers promise to revamp that dead-weight ratings loser.

The producers, Laurence Mark and Bill Condon, are smart Hollywood guys but their last collaboration was Dreamgirls (Mark produced, Condon wrote and directed), not an auspicious start. And they have already evoked the ghosts of Oscars past. They praised Jackman's "style, elegance" and "sense of occasion," which to me translates as "safe and dull." Mark told Nikki Finke on Deadline Hollywood Daily, "We kept saying how we were looking for Cary Grant or Clark Gable," and Jackman himself said he never imagined getting that gig "Thirty years ago when I was in Sydney watching Johnny Carson host the Oscars with my family." Yes, thirty years ago!

Here's what the producers have promised so far: less of what viewers love and more of what we hate. First, there will be no opening comic monologue. They're scrapping the part we are always most curious about, the high-wire act that launched a million Uma-Oprah jokes.

OK, Jackman is no comedian. He is a terrific singer and dancer, who was truly as maracas-shaking Peter Allen in Broadway's The Boy from Oz and a smooth host three years running at the Tonys. But the Tonys are a geezer-fest with ratings so awful he helped lift them from nothing to next-to-nothing. And while old-fashioned elegance may work for the Broadway crowd, the last thing the Oscars need is Sunset Boulevard II or The Boy from Hollywood's Golden Age. Do the producers not want a younger audience?

There are plenty of reasons the Oscars keep losing viewers -- last year's show with Jon Stewart hit an all-time low -- but sharp comic hosts like Stewart or Chris Rock aren't the problem. (Both were hugely toned down for the occasion anyway, and were still considered too edgy for the staid Academy). The television landscape has simply splintered into so many niches the Oscars will never see Carson numbers again; get over it.

Today's viewers also have awards burnout. By the time the Oscars arrive top stars have turned up at everything from the Critics Choice awards (although hardly anyone knows what they are) to the Golden Globes (although almost everyone thinks they're a joke). And unlike those other starry shows, the Oscars make us sit through the production designer thanking his grandma. (The producers are hamstrung there; the Academy insists on the number of awards presented on air.) The Oscar is still the biggest prize of all, but that doesn't make for much of a TV draw. That's why the show needs a complete, forward-looking reinvention, not some gauzy return to a past that can never be recaptured.

It doesn't sound like that's happening, so let's plead for some small improvements. Please, please, drop the lame presenters' banter. And that includes jokes about lame presenters' banter. Let the stars say something real or nothing at all. I'd love to hear what Sean Penn or Kate Winslet or Frank Langella say in their own voices, but I do not want another syllable from creaky Oscar writers like Bruce Vilanch.

And no nostalgic tributes to the olden days of movies. Maybe the silver lining in the current We're-Not-Calling-It-A-Depression-Yet is that, as in the Great Depression, people are happy to escape into movies. That doesn't mean we want to drop into some Busby Berkeley inspired musical.

Let Jackman sing and dance if he wants to, but tone down the usual cringe-inducing production numbers that make the Oscars seem like some tacky road show out of Vegas, or a South Park episode waiting to happen. (I would make an exception for a duet between Jackman and Clint Eastwood singing the theme song from Gran Torino; instant camp classic.)

And remember, Jackman may be People magazine's current Sexiest Man Alive, but he's not a movie star because he's suave. (As I said: Australia.) He's a movie star because he played a mutant in three X-Men films. Let him put some Wolverine claws into the event and play to the audience that actually buys tickets to his movies. Maybe then we can all enjoy the show and save our bathroom breaks for the Jerry Lewis tribute.

Comments

[BlackJAC]

How 'bout we simply streamline the Oscars and remove all the spectacle that exists simply for the sake of spectacle? I know that LA is trying to make up for the lack of cultural heritage that New York has, but does anybody really care what kind of outfit Celebrity X is wearing? I've been to the Kodak Theater: not only is it in a shopping mall, but it's open bar until the show starts as an enticement to get people off that red carpet and into the auditorium. We also don't need every single Best Song nominee performed live, nor do we need the retrospective montages.

[Clever Screen Name]

The only reason the Oscars, initially a private inustry event, is broadcast at all is because someone eons ago thought that if all the top stars were in one place people would watch. But today's stars are so omnipresent throughout the media that the televised show's entire raison d'etre no longer makes sense. Coupled with the fact that the "best" movies most often have had the smallest theatrical audience, and hence, nobody watches. Ratings aside, maybe the show is still profitable, I don't know.

[daffey]

I like Jackman, and wish him the best. But I have my doubts. One reason the Oscars have tanked in recent years that wasn"t mentioned in the article: The gulf between the movies people watch and the movies that are nominated for Oscars has never been wider. Let"s face it, there are two reasons. First, most movies that everyone is seeing have to do with comic book heros beating up bad guys dressed like clowns, or something similar. While a few might be good enough to warrant a second glance from Oscar, the odds are against much serious consideration. That goes for movies with witches, wizards, mythological monsters, or just about any fantasy mishmash that makes up the bulk of the movies folks are flocking to (that goes for most comedies, too). In addition, it can"t be missed that many of the Oscar darlings of recent years are movies with a decidedly left, to hard left, to uberleft leaning. While that may appeal to those within the entertainment beltway, and those who swing a hard left, the majority of Americans are not in that camp, don"t go to those movies, and in the end, don"t plan on spending the night waiting for a movie they didn"t care enough about to go see win an Oscar. Until that gulf is bridged, expect low ratings no matter what other variables are in play.

[aFlyoverPerson]

I'd pay good money to watch Hugh J floss his teeth. or anything. Let's wait and see how he does before naysaying, shall we?

[bioluminescence]

Hollywood's place as the movie capital of the world is slipping so they badly needed to internationalise the Oscar show to a world audience. In previous years, too many inside jokes about America told by Americans.

[Shieldmaiden]

Hugh hosted the Tonys and I thought he was great. If anything I get nervous when the Academy tries to change the format. Remember when they would have all the nominees in certain categories parade onstage before the winner was announced? Disaster.

The Oscars are best when the stars are allowed to be themselves, without gimmicks or attempts to young it up. If they want youth, they should nominate a film young people like - The Dark Knight with a much deserved best picture nomination would do that beautifully.

Last year's show was great because the winners were genuine and emotional. I cried through the entire thing because Marion Cotillard, Javier Bardem, and the songwriters from Once could be themselves. The Oscars need more authenticity, more diversity in films nominated, and less gimmicks.

[MisterCole]

I agree they need to tighten the show but not dumb it down with crassness like they've tried before. If today's viewers are too addicted to ritalin and nintendo wii to take an interest in the Oscars then forget 'em. I was in my teens when Fellini was there to accept a Lifetime Achievement award and it was the greatest thrill. I didn't mind that he was old or spoke Italian I just knew the supreme joy of seeing this director celebrated for the great films that I enjoyed tracking down and renting during my summers away from school. It was nice seeing other people appreciating them too.

I'm looking forward to seeing Jackman because I'm tired of the same snarky stand-up schtick from the too-hip to care crowd. The show is for movie fans and the people who make them. I don't want it to be some Entertainment Tonight equivalent like the people's choice awards.

[wehappyfew]

Caryn,

Bless your heart, you silly, ignorant girl. Hugh Jackman is an incredible actor BECAUSE of Australia and The Prestige and The Fountain. He is also the most brilliant choice for host of the Oscars because he is the most talented, improvisational, funny, and entertaining actor/comedian/singer/dancer alive. Do your homework. Watch "Oklahoma," the Tonys, and every guest gig he's ever done on TV.

[TheSpartanOfAuburn]

I had no idea Hugh commented on this site.

Hi!

Please no more Australia.

[Jude2004]

Unless you've seen Hugh Jackman host the Tonys, you really don't know what you're talking about. He was the most amazing host I've ever seen. I didn't even know who he was the first time I saw him host, and I was thoroughly enchanted. He's funny, he's entertaining, he's far from dull, and I haven't bothered watching the Tonys since he hasn't been hosting it. This will be amazing. You can search YouTube for snippets of his prior Tony show hosting. The guy is a major star because he has it all--charisma, humor, intelligence, and talent.

[Caryn James - Huffpost Blogger]

Jude: I agree he livened up the Tonys -- I've seen him do it, & he is a talented guy. But I don't think that kind of Broadway gloss is what the Oscar show needs; I wouldn't want to see The Tonys-Go-to-Hollywood. But I hope you're right!

[LMPE]

Of course, if Hugh Jackman hosted in the persona of Wolverine, there would be a problem. Hugh is not really a mutant, and thus wouldn't have any of Wolverine's special abilities (e.g., no retractable blades).

[Thelma Adams - Huffpost Blogger]

You go, Caryn. I would love to see the Wolverine in Jackman on the Oscars. My first suggestion for the awards: 2 hours. Max! No montages. Period! Forget about the X-Men series -- I want the Bourne Identity of Academy Awards this year.