" The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best which is within us. "
~Marianne Williamson
I have an unusually large family who are all dear to me. Each one holds special qualities that I admire and emulate. However, one sibling goes beyond the call of duty for everyone in the family. And we all think this family member is a saint, too. But for some reason, most of the family doesn't voice their appreciation. Might we all be a little too silent towards those of us around us who deserve some praise and appreciation? Is this from our ignorance or ego, not to let others' light shine, or are we just being humble and loving so we don't offend others by singling out one individual?
I think this is a serious mistake that a lot of us might make. It's important to consider whether we do this out of ignorance or reticence to express our appreciation. This just might be the reason some of us keep doing more than is actually expected even by God, as a way of seeking relief as we try to ease our own pain. We might actually be able to help each other find peace and joy by letting others know that we appreciate them; doing so might be the necessary balance for those who are pleasers, something that'll set their hearts at ease. Think about this: Most speak freely about each other's mistakes or shortcomings, and actually find more support for keeping the negativity or lack going. Why do we accept this as a normal means of communication? I think it only covers the extraordinary good that other people do, which often goes unacknowledged. And regardless of how many good deeds we've done for others, trying to feel better about ourselves and find more self-esteem, do even more for others. Some of us are just made that way. That's why we still hurt and wonder if we're doing enough; it's because we're looking for relief outside of God. We do this instead of knowing that God alone is the only approval we really need.
I hope and pray to be a little holier by shining a light on the goodness of others and away from myself. More so, I hope those passionate over-givers "hear" how much we appreciate the love and kindness they spread to everyone! Is there someone in your life who would benefit if you'd shine a light on them this Christmas or any day of the year? What a beautiful gift to give someone! I'm sure they'd receive it with greater joy than even a material gift.
I've come to this place in my life after many failed attempts at searching for peace and understanding, believing that righting a wrong will bring us all forward. I'm sorry to say this approach hasn't worked well for me. Sadly, we can't fix things alone. We need a Savior who keeps our hearts calm with hope and joy. I don't think relief is attainable until we give our whole selves to God and voice appreciation to those who deserve it! I know I'm hardly a Mother Teresa, or even as giving as some of my brothers and sisters, nor my own dear mother; but this longing to become more giving remains my passion and part of this includes shining a light on others. In my mature years, I've become even more certain that lifting others has made a huge difference in my own life. This is a gift from God that works miracles. When we need to calm ourselves and brighten the darkness around us; focus on the goodness of others for their sake and yours.
About Catherine Nagle: Catherine grew up in Philadelphia with 16 brothers and sisters, reared by loving, old school Italian parents. Catherine's artist father's works graced churches and public buildings; her mother was a full-time homemaker. A professional hairdresser, Catherine worked in various salons while studying the Bible and pursuing spiritual growth through courses, seminars, lectures, and conferences, including the National Theology of the Body Congress. She is also an Ambassador of the Society of Emotional Intelligence. The mother of two children and now a grandmother, Catherine lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and son. She is the Author of Imprinted Wisdom.