THE BLOG
09/05/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Is the US Military a Socialist Institution?

The Republicans need to stop denigrating the troops. They keep saying that the government can't get anything right. How about the biggest government project of all -- the United States Armed Forces? Are the Republicans talking smack about the military -- and hence, the troops? Support the troops! Support government!

Does anyone disagree that the military is almost entirely government run? And if you agree to that obvious fact, when you attack all government run programs, aren't you by definition attacking the United States military?

And if there was any question about how socialist the army is, they removed all doubt when they adopted their last slogan: Army of One. That sounds positively communist. Why don't they just call it the collective? And in the US military everyone pledges to support one another no matter what. No one gets left behind. Everyone gets government provided housing, health care, and even government clothing. The military is the most socialist institution we have.

And while we're privatizing things, I've always wanted to go after the commies in the Fire Department. Always talking about brotherhood, jumping into burning buildings to save others. These pinko commies disgust me. Time to break them up. Besides, I don't want any bums milking the system for any free fire coverage. If you can't pay, then burn freeloader burn.

Private fire insurance would be so much more efficient. They can figure out if you have a pre-existing condition before they waste their time going into a fire. Were you a little hot before the fire started? Bingo, pre-existing condition. The free market will figure out who should burn to death and who shouldn't.

If the free market can decide who lives or dies based on who has health insurance or not, why not apply the same principle to who lives or dies in a fire? The free market is always the best judge. And if it says you should go down in a ball of flames, well, then you had it coming. Do you want the government getting between you and the flames?

Finally, I've always loved the principle of love it or leave it. It applies to the old US of A. And it also applies to the government. If you don't love the government, why don't you get the hell out? Why don't all of the Republicans quit their government jobs at once to show how much they hate the government? (Maybe this is what Sarah Palin was doing.)

You want to talk about an inefficient government run program? How about the United States Congress? It doesn't get any worse than that. So, John McCain, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, why don't you all leave your government jobs -- with your government provided incomes, government provided offices and government provided health care -- and go home? Aren't you tired of being faceless, nameless bureaucrats? Isn't it time to put up or shut up about your distaste for government?

Love it or leave it, baby!

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PS - On a serious note, isn't it unbelievable that the media can't understand the simple concept that the government does some things well and others not so well? How can they let Republicans keep making the same dumb point about how the government can't do anything right? This should be a simple matter of logic. No one ever asks the Republican politicians why they think the government can't run this particular program when it runs many other programs perfectly fine (even by Republican admission, since they would never say a bad word about the US military on camera).

Finally, if Republicans are arguing the government can't do anything right, wouldn't they want to shut the whole thing down? Which leads to the obvious question -- are Republicans anarchists?