I think we can all agree that the man who shot Dr. George Tiller is a domestic terrorist. I know what Republicans think we should do with accused terrorists -- waterboard them. So, let's get it on.
Initial reports are that the suspect is an anti-abortion activist named Scott Roeder. Good enough. Let's torture the son of a bitch. Remember the people in Guantanamo Bay were just detainees, they were not convicted of anything before we started the "enhanced interrogation" techniques. Most of them didn't even have the verifiable criminal and terroristic history of Roeder who was previously arrested with bomb making material and has called murder of doctors "justifiable homicide" before. So, if you can't waterboard Roeder, then who can you waterboard? He is the perfect candidate.
Also, in this case, there might literally be a ticking time bomb. He's been arrested for having bomb making material before! And he's a god-damned terrorist who just killed someone. What more do we need? We can't afford to wait while there might be another ticking time bomb out there.
We should start with waterboarding him and work our way up to even more enhanced interrogation. Now, some squeamish liberals who are soft on terrorism might disagree, but I'm sure all of my conservative friends agree, right? Sean Hannity? Rush Limbaugh? Bill O'Reilly? You're all on board for torturing this terrorist detainee, right?
I'm sure they'll be on TV talking about it on Monday. I'm sure of it. Because I know they don't think waterboarding and torture is just what we do to Muslim detainees. I know they're men of their word and would torture anyone suspected of terrorism, no matter what their race or political affiliation is. Right?
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