THE BLOG
12/16/2008 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Explain? How Do You Explain Saying

I can't. I won't. Because it won't matter. There is nothing I can say here that won't be picked apart in to a million bits by those that are looking for more grist for their mills.

I said words deemed profane by the FCC over commercial radio at a time when I have always been historically off the air, during a break. Not an excuse; a fact. The engineer left the mike hot and left the board, and thus the dump button to prevent my obscenity-laden, Tourette's-like outburst. Because of the airing of this outburst (and the cut off statement which became perverted in to a death threat), two people lost their jobs and the station may be fined by the FCC.

Haters hated, some of them through actual violence or vandalism, supporters supported, some seen as supporters bolted and some seen as detractors came to aide.

Why?

I said words deemed profane by the FCC over commercial radio at a time when I have always been historically off the air, during a break. Not an excuse; a fact. The engineer left the mike hot and left the board, and thus the dump button to prevent my obscenity-laden, Tourette's-like outburst. Because of the airing of this outburst (and the cut off statement which became perverted in to a death threat), two people lost their jobs and the station may be fined by the FCC.

During the national election I became a story. Why?

I said words deemed profane by the FCC over commercial radio at a time when I have always been historically off the air, during a break. Not an excuse; a fact. The engineer left the mike hot and left the board, and thus the dump button to prevent my obscenity-laden, Tourette's-like outburst. Because of the airing of this outburst (and the cut off statement which became perverted in to a death threat), two people lost their jobs and the station may be fined by the FCC.

I've apologized. I've accepted responsibility. Why?

I said words deemed profane by the FCC over commercial radio at a time when I have always been historically off the air, during a break. Not an excuse; a fact. The engineer left the mike hot and left the board, and thus the dump button to prevent my obscenity-laden, Tourette's-like outburst. Because of the airing of this outburst (and the cut off statement which became perverted in to a death threat), two people lost their jobs and the station may be fined by the FCC.

And with that, I've said enough.

I am sorry that during an election cycle the media was dumb enough to pervert this in to a national story. I'm sorry that anyone thought I really wanted anyone dead. I won't apologize for my speech during a break, off air. Like it or not, even I am an American. I can say adult words and yes, even make off color statements (and, partial or not, it truly was a dumb thing to say since I didn't mean it. Yes, I'm an idiot at times). There is still a First Amendment in this country, however limited. It was a mistake, a dumb mistake, and I realize now that I am the only broadcaster ever in history to make such a blunder. It's not like I said I wanted to cut the nuts off a candidate for President or anything (ah, Rev. Jackson).

And where's that dialogue? If I had said this on satellite radio would this blog post be needed? If I had said this on the Bill Maher program would we be having this national outrage?

The fact is, if you can afford cable TV or satellite radio, the speech you hear is free (with a $19.99 a month price tag or whatever it costs these days). If you can afford a WiFi radio from CCrane you can listen to radio from other lands, and get truly unregulated speech. If I had said this in Europe, there'd be no controversy at all. Well, except for the off color remark, but not the F-bomb.

But if you are an American that doesn't want to pay, that listens to commercial radio or watches commercial TV, the religious right and puritans still have a hold on what you hear, when and why, and act as these guardians in your name, in the name of common decency.

Common decency? Whom did I offend, really? Joe? Nope, his publicists said, and I quote from the letter they sent me:

Karel, I'm so sorry to hear about your suspension. Let me throw out an idea that might possibly help:

If you can provide me the e-mails of the appropriate individuals, I will contact your supervisors and say that you made a proactive effort to contact us before you were aware of your suspension. I will say that I am satisfied you are not a credible threat to Joe Wulzbacher, and I will suggest an interview with The Press Office on accidental celebrities and advice for ordinary people who are thrust into the spotlight. We wouldn't even need to discuss Joe at all at that point if that isn't desired, but rather focus on the domino effect of publicity and even address how accidents like yours quickly mushroom out of proportion. It may help you and your station do damage control.

If you'll give me that contact information, I'll give it a try.

Take care,

The Press Office

And that's the real absurdity. These good conservatives and liberals who have distanced themselves from me, taken me off their station, removed my writing, what is their outrage?

John McCain and Sarah Palin called Barack Obama a terrorist by association. They put his life in danger by raising racial tensions and anti-Islamic sentiment towards him. That was allowed.

George Bush called for death to anyone that was not for us. Period. Whatever that meant. On a national level. Death to the Evil Doers, whomever they may be. Hate crimes rose against Muslims.

Right now politicians and "clergy" are legislating actual hate in many states, amending documents that protect rights to take them away from tax paying Americans based on nothing more than a religious condemnation. They do this by calling people abominations, not right with the Lord, lesser individuals. They say on TV that these people can be "fixed" or "repaired," negating their whole lives, calling them nothing more than an illness. They say "Rev." in front of their name and say the most hateful things. I said on air I wanted someone dead (not really, but let's go with what you heard). They say on air every day that I will burn forever in hell if I don't see things their way. I have been told by good conservatives I should die of "AIDES." Yes, I know it's spelled wrong, but that's how the bigot wrote it in red paint on my garage door during all this: "Die of AIDES." Guess his speech is protected as well.

You want to talk about hateful speech? Any "Yes on Prop 8" rhetoric is pretty damned hateful. You want to talk about hateful , damaging, go back and listen to some Palin and McCain rallies. Listen to their supporters on tape, live, on the web, on TV , on radio talk about "the blacks" taking over, about "Muslim" agendas. Go through the papers the day after Obama won and look at the hatred and vile racism described as political punditry.

Yes, I said, ""Fuck goddamn Joe the God Damn Motherfucking Plumber! I want motherfucking Joe the Plumber dead!" I didn't mean it literally and I apologized immediately. I didn't make a campaign platform out of it. I didn't make it the focus of my final show the next night. I moved on. Because ultimately the only person I hurt was myself. My engineer hurt himself (and me and the station), as did I. But no one else was harmed. In fact, I gave many papers, bloggers, radio hosts, TV hosts, lots to talk about. Another non-issue that proves nothing.

And here's the difference: John McCain, Sarah Palin and all the zealot conservatives meant what they said. They still mean it, and they've never apologized for it.

That's not an excuse for me. I'm fired, I'm taking my lumps. But perspective, people. Someone telling you they're taking $700 billion of your money in a press conference harms you more than my screaming "Fuck!"

Love me. Hate me. What you see and hear is what you get. If you are around me off air, you know my language is a bit "blue." Oh well. Some of us curse, some don't, I do. It's all language to me. I have never, ever cursed on air, radio, TV, ever in over 20 years. Ever. So now I have. I often say "off with their heads" or "they must perish!" because I'm a drama queen with a real passion for the Founding Fathers and Henry VIII (lived for The Tudors on Showtime). Every day I say, "Oh, he should just die." I don't mean the people. I mean the idea. Sink into a tar pit like a dinosaur. No one that knew me thought for a moment I was serious. I now realize you must speak at all times on air to people who don't know you. I was wrong to say I want anyone dead on the radio, in jest or not. If my friends know the difference, fine, but some nut out there...well, it's just not good to do and I won't ever again.

For the 1,245,359th -- and final -- time: I'm sorry. I am sorry anyone thought I wanted a real person dead, I did not. I am sorry that anyone has to go through any trouble over what I said while making tea in my home studio with my always live mike.

I wonder if this will be a chapter in Joe's upcoming book. Maybe a track on his album.

Glad I could help.