Oh God, here we go again, another non-controversy turning in to a
huge to-do. Another instance that should have happened, been dealt
with, and then forgotten has now become headline news in an ongoing
saga. No, it's not Rosie and Donald. It's T.R. and Isaiah.
Now for those that don't know, and I hope that is quite a bit of you,
there's a very successful show called "Grey's Anatomy." On it, George
(TR Knight) and Dr. Burke (Isaiah Washington) are friends, actually.
But, in a backstage, made-for-the-tabloid moment Washington made a
comment to the tune of "I'm not like your little faggot TR..." to co-
star Patrick Dempsey (McDreamy)who then came to blows with him. The
next day, T.R. Knight was basically forced to come out, given the
controversy. He had not planned it, it wasn't on his agenda, but this
fight (in which Dempsey sprung to his defense, not that he needed it)
brought it all out.
Then the apologies started, the statements of regret, the standard
form 101-A now in every agent and manager's drawer due to the amount
of stars with foot-in-mouth disease properly filled out and given to
the press. And it was over, right? Guess again.
I was at the Golden Globes at the Beverly Hilton on January 15, 2007.
"Grey's Anatomy" won for best series, so all the cast went backstage.
I was in and out of the interview room they call it, but went it to
see the cast. As they Q and A began with the entire cast, the
Washington / Knight controversy came up. Washington grabbed the mike
and said that he did not, in fact, call TR a fagot on the show. So, a
denial of a previously apologized for event, now, that's confusing
and, it would appear, offensive.
I saw Katherine Heigl storm through the lobby of the hotel, looking
like a fairy princess on a tirade, assistant carrying the train of
her dress as she expressed her discontent to another next to her. She
was mad at Washington for saying the word again. And as much as I as
a gay man appreciate that, she, and others, are way off base here.
First, there's two issues. The first is the original fight. If, as
reported by TR Knight on the Ellen Show the day after the Golden
Globes, Washington did provoke a fight by calling Knight a faggot,
then there's that issue. Today's workplace is so sanitized of
anything that might be offensive, this word counts right up there
with the N-one. I think Washington got his due when Dempsey railed on
him. He called Knight a name, Dempsey punched him, enough said,
battle over. But oh no. Not today. Today, he must go to some sort of
rehab for offensive people, because in the land of the free the one
thing we are not is free to be offensive. How tragic is that. We
forget freedom has a price. And if I am free to say what I want
about, let's say, government, then someone is also free to call me a
disparaging name. Well, in theory. I mean, in theory, in the land of
the free, people are free to be bigots. But not today. No, today we
try to legislate and litigate bigotry right out of anybody. People
are no longer free to be racists, bigots, homophobes, at least not in
public, and certainly not at the office.
I'd like to say that's a good thing, but you see, I can't. I can't
because in the real world people are free to be what they want and we
don't have to agree with it. Washington didn't fire Knight from the
show, didn't hinder his ability to make a living, he was just being
an asshole. Well, people are assholes at times. It's not illegal,
yet. And luckily, he got the tar beaten out of him, as he deserved.
Should make him think twice about any other slurs.
But let's talk about the Globes. Why are people upset that he said
the word there? He wasn't calling anybody the word this time. He was
clarifying what was and was not said. He said "I did not call TR a
faggot." What was he supposed to say? "I did not call TR the F-word?"
"I did not call TR an epithet based on his sexuality..." He was accused
of calling someone a faggot, and then wanted to say he did not call
someone that word. So, he shouldn't say that word? It's like being
accused of painting something red and then not being able to say the
color.
I've been a victim of this myself. On my radio show on KGO 810 San
Francisco, I covered the Michael Richards melt down. Now, to do it, I
said the word Richards had said, to open a debate as to whether or
not the word should be removed from all language (as I believe it
should). I did not call anybody the name, but because I'm white,
suddenly, I cannot use the word even editorially. That's reverse
racism. If Blacks can use it and White's can't, that's reverse
racism. The same with faggot. If Isaiah were gay, there wouldn't be
this hubbub. Gay men use this word all the time, calling each other
as either a term of endearment or a derogatory remark. But straight
people? Oh no, you cannot use it at all. It's our word.
Well I, for one am sick of these lame, weak arguments on both sides.
First of all, call me whatever you want, just don't beat me while
doing it, fire me for it, incite violence against me because of it...
you get the point. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names
will never hurt me. Calling me a faggot isn't an insult, it's an
observation. I am a faggot.
Secondly, Washington wasn't calling anyone that name that night, so
stop the hoopla over that event. Go back to the fight on the set. His
words incited violence, and that makes them actionable, that and only
that. But what action? Rehab. OH PLEASE. Will stars stop going to
rehab for everything they do wrong. Next Martha will have to go for
burning a chicken.
Washington needs one of two things: he either needs to work in an
industry that isn't littered with faggots...try longshoreman...or he
needs to keep his big trap shut. He's not sorry, truly, he's not.
Meeting with GLAAD? Who cares? Like they speak for me or anybody in
the community. I'm sure he woke up that morning and said I have to go
have this stupid meeting with this queer organization so all this
crap will blow over. Then, as an actor, he smiled appropriately,
seemed sincere, and moved on.
And gay people, here's a news flash: people are bigots. People are
homophobic. And they are allowed to be. It's terrible, but true. You
know when Washington will change? When he has a friend, I mean a real
friend, that is gay. When he is emotionally invested in someone that
is gay or lesbian. Suddenly, his homophobia will change. Or maybe it
never will. Maybe he's just a no-faggot tolerating kind of guy. So
shun him Hollywood. Let him know he's free to be that, he's just not
welcomed in a community whose wheels are oiled with gay goodness.
And let's move on. There are so many important gay issues out there
right now, this is not one of them. There are so many battles to
fight against people that smile to our face one moment and then
legislate against us the next. They are the real enemy. At least we
know where Washington stands. It's the ones that pledge their support
and then go vote against you that we need to find out and expose. Or
worse, it's the politicians that speak out against gay people, the
Pastors that preach against us, and then get caught with their pants
down and another man in the room. If Washington were on the Down Low
and still behaving like this, all right, then there's a beef. But as
it is, well, we can't make everybody like us, nor can we make
everybody not call us a bad name. Because I want the right to call
him one, let's say, asshole, and I don' want that right taken away.
Washington does a good job as Dr. Burke. So shut up and act already.
If he does it again in the workplace, fire him. But if he's out at a
party, well, get over it because as much as we would like everybody
to be politically correct, they aren't.
Saying a word is not a crime and when we reach a point where it is,
we should be very afraid. Unfortunately, the First Amendment protects
him, too. I know, it's horrible, but it does. It doesn't just protect
speech with which we agree, it protects speech we detest. That's the
problem with freedom, it goes both ways. And as long as his use of
his freedom didn't cost anybody anything, meaning a job, his
livelihood or physical well being, well, then Washington, you get a
pass. But remember, next time you want to utter such a word, we've
got many for people of color, many you don't want to hear. Think
about how quickly you would have been at the producer's door if
Knight had said, oh, I'm not your step-and-fetch it Ni**er like
Isaiah...You would have come unglued. So why not use a little of that
righteous glue to keep you big mouth shut.
And to my gay brethren, please, fight another battle. This one is
just plain silly.