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Charlie Maffei Headshot

Desperately Seeking Love

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To all of you out there who are desperately looking for love, I have one thing to say: Simply stop being desperate. Trust me: Other single people can smell desperation a mile away, and to them it is a huge red flag. I know this may be hard to do sometimes, but you must learn to relax and play it cool.

Now, I know what you are thinking: that everyone who comes to me for my matchmaking services must be desperate. Not so. Most of the successes I have are with people who have happy, full lives and are ready to find someone to share their lives with. If you talk to many couples, they will explain to you that love came their way when they least expected it. So my advice is to try to not expect it.

In today's dating world it can be difficult to play it cool when you are trying to find someone to connect with, but give it a try. I cannot tell you how many calls and emails I get from people who are simply trying too hard. Take the word "desperate" out of your vocabulary. Don't even think about it. Just wake up and say to yourself:

I'm going to have fun meeting people today. If someone finds me interesting, great! But in the meantime I am not going to simply look at people as "The One." I will worry about dating them down the road. Right now I am just going to have fun meeting people.

This is not going to be an easy task, but you must realize that when you want something so badly that it consumes you, it is a turn-off to others and can be a huge detriment to your love life. I have actually had to tell friends and clients to stop telling everyone they know that they cannot wait to get married. Marriage may be your ultimate dream, but maybe that wonderful person you just met wants to get to know you first before they even think of a long-term relationship. Imagine their surprise when they "friend" you on Facebook and find all your posts about marriage, wedding cakes, and how many people you want in your wedding party.

You know my golden rule: Communication is the key to all successful relationships. It is perfectly OK to discuss your dreams of your perfect wedding day, but my advice is to hold off until you know that they want the same thing. I have seen too many relationships end before they even get started because one person takes things too quickly.

So go out there and meet people. But instead of looking at every person and wondering, "Are they the one?" just get to know them first before you imagine walking down the aisle with them. Relax and have fun getting to know someone. You deserve happiness, but it doesn't have to happen tomorrow. Relationships take time to grow.

Your favorite matchmaker,
Charlie

P.S. If you need any advice on how quickly to take a relationship, do not hesitate to reach out to me. And of course you can find tons of advice in my book Love Made Easy With CharlieTheMatchmaker.