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Charlotte Hilton Andersen

Charlotte Hilton Andersen

Posted: August 5, 2008 07:59 AM

Dear Cindy McCain, Please Pull Up Your Shirt And Tie Back Your Hair: An Open Letter In Pictures


Dear Cindy McCain,
I know you are under a lot of pressure right now -- what with Michelle Obama making Vanity Fair's Best Dressed list and your husband being called out for wearing $520 Ferragamo loafers during his meeting with the Dalai Lama and all-- but I can't help but notice a little problem emerging, and like the good girlfriend I am, I wanted to bring it to your attention before it gets out of control. How do I put this nicely? You're leaving cute blond territory and are on a straight trajectory to Tammy Faye. At the moment I put you right around Dolly Parton -- minus the impressive cleavage. Not that you seem to know it from some of the shirts you've been, er, flaunting lately.

Your descent has been gradual. For instance, see how elegant and pretty you looked on Leno in April?
2008-07-29-images-cindymccain1.jpg

And then here you are in May, still looking lovely albeit with some overly aggressive makeup.
2008-07-29-images-cindymccain2.jpgY

You even managed to look calm and downright presidential yourself while kissing the current president.
2008-07-29-images-cindymccain3.jpg

And who can forget your striking Harper's Bazaar shoot?
2008-08-05-amd_harper.jpg


Then suddenly in May, you took a tragic turn towards the bouffant and serious cleavage.
2008-07-29-images-cindymccain6.jpg

In late June, yowzers.

And by the end of July we came to this.
2008-07-29-images-cindymccain5.JPG

Cindy, body and volume are great, but this is rodeo queen. I realize that you are trying to appeal to a very conservative demographic, one that actually embraces Dolly and Tammy Faye but even those venerable ladies would tell you that hair is tacky and the blouse is retro '80s and not in a everything-old-is-new way.

I'm not trying to be catty. By all accounts you seem to be grounded, interesting and possibly the best thing about your husband's campaign-- but next time you have a photo op, even if it is deep in the heart of hairspray-and-mascara country, ask yourself "What would Condi Rice do?" Or at least get Stockard Channing on the phone because if you don't actually get to be the First Lady come this fall, you could at least play one on TV.

Sincerely,
Charlotte

Dear Cindy McCain, I know you are under a lot of pressure right now -- what with Michelle Obama making Vanity Fair's Best Dressed list and your husband being called out for wearing $520 Ferragamo loaf...
Dear Cindy McCain, I know you are under a lot of pressure right now -- what with Michelle Obama making Vanity Fair's Best Dressed list and your husband being called out for wearing $520 Ferragamo loaf...
 
 
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03:43 PM on 08/10/2008
Yes, she would love to be first lady, for sure. With 100 million dollars in her coffers, why this is just one more way for her to show, not only is she rich, but now, famous.
02:49 AM on 08/09/2008
Listen to all of you knuckleheads, dressing this lady down as if you know her or something. What has she done to you?

What sad little lives you must have. This isn't even about politics, it's about spite and foolishness. I don't even know the lady, but judging these comments, it's obvious that she has more class in her little finger than most of you will ever possess, including the author of this inane, yammering essay.
04:29 PM on 08/08/2008
Just think, Cindy has the power to end McCain's candidacy with a few well-chosen words. That revenge served cold would be soooo delicious!
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Diogenis
09:38 PM on 08/08/2008
Nah! She wants to be first Lady more than John wants to be president!
02:32 PM on 08/08/2008
The first time my 11-year old daughter saw her she said "YIKES. Who is that??"
Knew nothing about her or her affiliation.
Out of the mouth of babes...
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Diogenis
09:42 PM on 08/08/2008
The apple falls under the apple tree.
02:06 PM on 08/08/2008
What was that cute term of endearment Johnny M called Cindy, in public yet? Starts
with C, but I forget...
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Diogenis
09:38 PM on 08/08/2008
Cutie? lol
08:13 AM on 08/08/2008
Charlotte:

If your husband offered you up as entertainment to 50,000 drunken biker dudes, including showing them a little T & A and how you'd perform sex acts, you'd go the way of Tammy Faye Baker too.
04:25 PM on 08/08/2008
LMAO

That's another moment I wished we had pictured here! She was in this denim-esque men's shirt! It was sad it look like some fast food uniform or a mom who gave up a looooong time ago!

We need that one up here too- she had another prom-night-gone -wrong- hair do that... but I'll give her some slack- that event must be hard to know how to dress for... glad she didn't go for some assless chaps!
07:09 AM on 08/10/2008
I think that any thinking adult would view that event as proof positive that McCain will do anything, say anything - including prostitute his wife - to claw his way to the presidency.

Imagine what the "liberal media" would have done with this if Obama had made the same comments.
06:22 PM on 08/10/2008
Can you even imagine Obama saying that a bout his wife? McCain is a pig.
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Donns
07:27 AM on 08/08/2008
Isn't this the same person who stars in the Blonde Star skit? Always on, always Blonde.
The one who was locked inside her vehicle.
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DogTown
your micro-bio is empty
07:21 AM on 08/08/2008
Cindy McCain lives mostly in San Diego California (with out John) and longer hair is a fashionable look there.
11:09 PM on 08/08/2008
DogTown, I live in SD, too, and longer hair is fine...but not bleached platinum rodeo queen hair! Give us some credit. Cindy McCain needs to part with some of her money for a good stylist, fast!
04:01 AM on 08/08/2008
Honestly, for her age, I think Cindy McCain looks great, especially that Bazaar photo, I think that is one of the better pictures of her out there right now of her.

Trust me, for both candidates, 520$ is chump change, they spend a lot more than that on one plane trip, and at least McCain will wear those shoes more than once, unlike Paris Hilton, who is the type who will throw them away after being seen in public with something like that once.

Cindy is very shy, it seems pretty evident to me so far, I think I have only heard he speak publicly 2 or 3 times this whole election season, while yes, Michelle is very vocal and has gone on the talk shows and is outspoken, but we've never seen lawyers in politics though right?

The first lady issue is trivial so far, they will both have big speeches at their respective conventions, and that will probably give a good idea to this nation about what both of them are really about.
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UkieOlie
03:48 PM on 08/08/2008
Shy? She runs a huge corporation and has always had milllions of dollars to keep her company. She is a political asset and a powerful woman in her own eight.
12:49 PM on 08/10/2008
She is not shy
Political asset: NOT AT ALL Not sure I understand why she would be when she has never had the gut to put McCain back in his place when he called her a C...nt, or offer her as a Sturgis Bikini Contestant Queen? Any woman who prefers rejection, public disrespect to a promise of being first lady has no shame nor power...where are all the Feminists out there...Why didnt she play a role in encouraging her husband to vote for the equality of pay for women...She would have emerged as a true heroine, a powerful figure for all women to respect and follow

She is just playing a role defined by the Republican games: passive, submissive, just like Laura Bush
07:24 AM on 08/10/2008
"Cindy is very shy . . ." Are you kidding? How many rodeo beauty queens are shy? How shy do you need to be to steal a husband from another woman? Either McCain smelled her money or she is not shy. I don't think either option smells good for your man, Coattails.
02:44 AM on 08/08/2008
Thank you so much Veratruth! What an inspiring blog. I could not agree with you more. Have a blessed day!!

Obama "08 supporter
11:58 PM on 08/07/2008
Frankly, I think the lady is very tired.

I don't think Cindy McCain enjoys the campaign trail one bit. Michelle Obama, on the other hand, seems to enjoy it.
04:01 AM on 08/08/2008
Of course she does...as self-absorbed as her husband.
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09:28 AM on 08/08/2008
I'm OK with that.
11:22 PM on 08/07/2008
Can we end the catfight. What Mrs McCain and Obama wear or look does not matter, it does not matter now, it will not matter in a thousand years. On to more important things. They are both fine women that love their husbands, Without them, the husbands would be nothing. Men need women to make them shine.
01:13 AM on 08/08/2008
Just out of curiousity, if another blogger had said something like women need men to make THEM shine, would you have taken that as a sexist comment?
04:01 AM on 08/08/2008
Exactly...I don't care if either of them show up in a paper sack...
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09:27 PM on 08/07/2008
Hey, 'member back in 2000 when he was a maverick and she had a saucy short haircut and seemed so real and down to earth? 'Member that? They both were so much better off then. Soul-selling exacts a price.
08:55 PM on 08/07/2008
Michelle Obama has class, integrity, a voice and has a sense of self....unlike Clinton, Cindy McCain. Cindy McCain does need to act her age, stop the catty' tidbits, and quite being a old 'barbie doll'.....John McCAin plays with. Both McCains are patently shallow and arrogant elitist's.
04:00 AM on 08/08/2008
Michelle has issues...anger issues...she better get over fast if she ever wants to be in the White House.
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UkieOlie
03:51 PM on 08/08/2008
She's a realist with ideals and hope. Everyone is this country has reason to be angry.
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Diogenis
09:28 PM on 08/08/2008
Oh, I see. Because she has real emotions, it's bad? What do you want, a phoney again in the white house as "first lady"!
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lavndrblue
08:13 PM on 08/07/2008
Hey, where's McSame's lapel flag pin?