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Jersey Shore Boys Turned Into Average Joes by GQ Makeover

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In a world where we don't hear nearly enough about celebrities and clothing, GQ magazine has stepped in this month to fill the void with a makeover of the Jersey Shore boys. Forgetting for a moment that I just called The Situation, Pauly D, Vinny and that other one "celebrities" let's focus on the exciting part: this is an athletic makeover. Being a gym-a-holic myself (my life is just like the Jersey Shore! Minus the spray tans! And the sexcapades! And, oh, everything else!), I get really excited about all things Spandex.

In the case of the Jersey Shore boys, GQ took them from looking like douchebags in muscle shirts to looking like douchebags in muscle shirts as imagined by Patagonia. See the complete before and after shots here. But then I got to thinking about it and I'm kinda of sad about this makeover. The boys may be the Spaghetti-Os of Italian (love you, Jo!) but considering that men don't have a lot of gym-wear options -- hmmm, basketball shorts or track pants, basketball shorts or track pants, whatever shall I wear?! -- I appreciate their sartorial choices. They're colorful and show a lot of personality. New Balance retro sneaks are safe but cobalt blue Ed Hardy sweats are, well, not safe. After Jon Gosselin (whatever happened to him? It's like he got his yuppie makeover and now he's so well camouflaged nobody can find him since he wandered into the Ralph Lauren section of Nordstrom's.) Ed Hardy sweats are doubly ironic, look for them on a hipster near you next fall. Plus you know the boys are rolling in free swag from every athletic company in the world -- why not wear it all? In fact, I think they should amp it up a notch. Zubaz would be the next natural step. Wrestling onesies (unitards? what are those things called?) are functional and fashionable on the weight floor. And heaven help me, I haven't seen a pair of American flag bike shorts splayed across a weight bench in years. That needs to remedied.

(Also, they flattened Pauly D's hair. I know that everyone who has ever seen the show or even a picture of Pauly D has watched their hands float up in front of them in an irrepressible urge to smush it all down or flick it to see if it makes the tink-tink noise you imagine it will, but it kinda reminds me of when my sibs and I used to use the shampoo to make crazy updos in the bathtub. And what is not awesome about that? Plus, Pauly D -- just like Donald Trump and Kate Gosselin -- is known for his hair, defined by it, even. In a few years, it'll be a national treasure. Just ask Oprah.)

The gym can be a little boring sometimes -- repetition is kind of the name of the game -- so I welcome anyone's attempt to liven things up. And it's not like I can judge: I've worked out in a gold lamé leotard, a Hawaiian skirt, a neon orange anime wig and giant leprechaun hat (oh yes I have!). Why should girls have all the fun with our athletic bottoms that come in every length from cheeky to floor-grazing and include amazing things like plaid racing skirts and tattoo leggings? I say if the boys want to blend in with the hoi polloi so they can just get through Costco in time to get home to give the dog its thyroid pill, then by all means stick with this look. But in the meantime, dial up the crazy clothes! Anyone have a No Fear shirt they can tear the sleeves off?

So what do you wear to the gym? Men, does it bother you to be so limited in your choices? Ladies, does a little crazy on the gym floor catch your eye or just make you roll them?