Marie Claire has done it again! After the article that rocked the food-blogging world (which was nasty, sneaky and unfair... and also made some very valid points that I am still thinking about) last month, the lady mag is back in fine foot-in-mouth form with a new article titled "Should Fatties Get a Room (Even on TV)?" The article claims to explore whether programming starring happy fat people is "disturbing" and "implicitly promoting obesity." Their unsurprising fashion-mag answer: yes and yes. (Which I find hilariously ironic considering their main complaint about the food bloggers is that they promote unhealthy ideals with their obsessive food restriction and exercise. Apparently you can't win unless you spring forth from the womb perfectly formed.)
I don't watch TV. If you didn't know that explicitly you have probably guessed it from how culturally clueless I am. And yet I do remember one thing from hazy college TV-show obsessed days (Holla Felicity and America's Next Top Model!) and that is this: You don't mess with Sookie. Gilmore Girls was brilliant and not just because I couldn't decide who I wanted to be more -- Alexis Bledel or her "mom" Lauren Graham as they were both so witty and adorable. All of the characters on the show were funny, relatable and entertaining. One of the standouts on the show Sookie, played by Melissa McCarthy, who was a chef, a spitfire of a best friend and a comedienne in her own right. Oh and did I mention she was a bit chubby?
Well the (un-Kirstie Alley) fat actress has a new show out called Mike and Molly about an overweight couple who meets at Overeaters Anonymous and falls in love. Typical schlocky sitcom hijinks ensue and the show would probably have barely shown up on the radar if it were not for Marie Claire blogger Maura Kelly's post on how a show featuring two obese people in love is disgusting. In her own words, "So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair."
Wow, did she really just say that out loud? Yep. And she continues with the tired I-have-a-fat/gay/black/grinder monkey for a friend trope:
Now, don't go getting the wrong impression: I have a few friends who could be called plump. I'm not some size-ist jerk. And I also know how tough it can be for truly heavy people to psych themselves up for the long process of slimming down. (For instance, the overweight maintenance guy at my gym has talked to me a little bit about how it seems worthless for him to even try working out, because he's been heavy for as long as he can remember.)
Oh, well, if you know a fat janitor then it's totally okay! She goes on to tell obese people that if they just try hard enough they can lose the weight writing, "But... I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it." and then giving overly simplistic, albeit true tips like "eat more fresh and unprocessed foods" and "visit your local YMCA." Yes, it really is that bad.
But now that I've pointed out the egregious error -- and it is as easy as falling of the curb to jump on Kelly, heck half the Internet is (the other half is too busy arguing over whether Christine O'Donnell is a moronic constitutional illiterate or a nuanced legal genius) -- I feel inclined to point out that she's really not the problem. Many, many people feel this way. Remember Anna Wintour being horrified at the Mall of America not by the fact that Forever 21 sits right next to Prada but because she thinks all Midwesterners look like "little houses?" Most people just don't say it out loud. Kelly is the whipping girl because she wrote it in black and white (and doesn't have the entire fashion world at her back).
Jezebel points out that, to her credit, Kelly tries to atone in the comments by saying her remarks are lingering effects of her previous history of anorexia. "Though I don't think of myself as anorexic any more, being freaked out by obesity to the insensitive, even cruel, point that I was is certainly a vestige of the anorexic mindset; maybe so was being righteous about how easy it is to lose weight. (Because once I lost an extreme amount of weight, of course -- about half my body weight -- etc.)." I can personally attest to the mental havoc that eating disorders wreak. Not only do you have no concept of what you as a person look like, you really don't see other people accurately either. And the crazy doesn't go away just because you start eating again.
So I don't fault her for thinking these thoughts -- she is just parroting the cultural zeitgeist of body-hate -- but I think we should focus on the larger issue of challenging the validity of these thoughts. For me, I don't care whether or not obese people are "gross" to watch or kiss. I don't care if they're more expensive to insure or are taking up two airplane seats or are riding zebras in Kenya whilst singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." The point for me is that they are people before they are anything else. And all people, whether they be obese or elderly or handicapped or colicky infants or felons or rogue inflatable-slide-riding flight attendants, deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
How do you feel about a TV show starring two happy obese people? What do you think of Kelly's take on it? Is her history of an eating disorder a valid mea culpa?
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Yes obesity is unhealthy, but I also agree that her article was uncalled for.
p.s. I don't feel anorexia was any justification for her post. Many former eating disorder survivors speak out against weight obsession. Many more keep their feelings to themselves! She is stereotyping all anorexics by letting her personal dysfunctions spill out in public.
The truth of the matter is that Marie Claire and their competitors have been co-conspiritors in telling young women that their "bodies are worthless" unless they follow the "fashion & dieting" tips in such magazines. In their minds' eye, your typical young lady is feeling pretty wobbly about her body size-and-shape altogether. Enter Marie Claire and their "partners-in-evil": the Diet Industry and the Cosmetic Surgery Industry.
Soon, the lass-in-question (unless she has very good self-esteem to begin with) is being bombarded that unless she does what the "Trio of Terror" says, that she will never be truly "normal"...and acts accordingly.
The result?
Unhealthy body imagery.
Beginning stages of bulimia/anorexia.
Failed expectations leading to a "vicious cycle" of hospitalizations.
And the "Trio of Terror" laughing all the way to the bank, their moneysacks full of cash from the young and gulliable.
The more times change, the more the old norms stay to affect a new generation.
And as for that ninny being repulsed by "fat people" making out (and being in love to begin with)?
Who made YOU the God-Queen, you usurping mortal fool?
And past body issues cuts no ice with this man...your projection of your own foibles upon two people in love shows that your recovery isn't completed!
Love isn't reserved for the "slim and sexy"--it applies to us all!
That's the way it should be!
--RKJ
Furthermore, I think it's ridiculous how people like Kelly use their previous anorexic problem as an excuse for their shallowness. For example, a cop was attacked by a man wearing black pants. Hen then started to abhor men in black pants. Does it mean that he has the right to shoot the next man he sees wearing black pants despite if they're innocent or not.
The problem doesn't only lie on Kelly, but also due to some of us being oversensitive. We like to take something small and blow it out of proportion. It is ironic to me when overweight people get offended when they're called overweight, or more colloquial, "fat." Instead of spending their time and energy in fixing their problem, they turn around and accuse models for being too thin, misrepresenting the female body. Staying thin is necessary for a model is like knowing how to type is an essential trait of a secretary. It is a job requirement. But some of us fail to read between the lines and become obsessive with thinness.
For short, what's wrong with TV showing two happy obese people when it really happens in reality? Kelly's take on it is shallow. Overall, bad journalism.
what makes you assume they are not spending their time and energy in 'fixing their problem'? overweight people [who gets to define overweight?] have an emotional sunburn from being constantly judged by people that show them no respect as a fellow human with feelings. you can see judgement in a person's eyes; they never have to say a word.