Anyone who has been to Times Square in the past 10 years has seen him. Naked save for some tighty-whites, emphasis on the tight, and cowboy boots and hat, this street performer makes his living singing mediocre songs and grabbing tourists' butts for pictures. Not a bad gig if you can get it.
And now you can get your chance to walk around one of the most well-known landmarks in the world in your underwear! The Naked Cowboy (trademarked, natch) will be hosting his own reality show. In an era where has-been celebrities uses reality TV to reincarnate themselves as relevant, it seems only appropriate that a real-life person uses reality TV to make themselves a irrelevant. (See Trump, Donald for additional information.)
Nightmare? Dream? All depends on your level of abtastic comfort. Come up with your own street performer act (note: corner comedians have been done to death) and then showcase it to the Naked Cowboy, a.k.a. Robert Burke. If he likes you, you could win your own gig... grabbing people's butts for tip money. We had another name for that when I was in college but whatever.
The Cowboy has tips. "I want to see people like me, the real deal. I'm looking for character more than anything. You could be the greatest musician in the world, but if you stand in jeans and a T-shirt next to me, no one will notice you."
No jeans? So what does one wear, exactly, to a street performance competition? I saw Step Up 2: The Streets and according to them, Abercrombie and Fitch retooled as gang wear is hot this season. But somehow I think Burke would be more impressed with something a little less Hollywood and a little more Frederick's of Hollywood.
And then there's the question of talent. Burke's real talent seems to be making a career out of an activity that other men get arrested for. Although I suppose he will tell you it's his singing that makes him famous. And he does have a CD out after all. So - what pervy habits do you have that will make you star?
Any of you meet the Naked Cowboy? Did you let him grab your butt? Did you get a picture? Anybody buy his CD? And - be honest now, the Internets are watching - would you watch his show?