When you've been with the same person for a long time doing the same things over and over again, chances are you'll start getting bored. It happens even to the strongest couples so if you've experiencing boredom in your relationship, don't feel guilty or be scared. This boredom a.k.a. relationship rut is a challenge most couples who have been together for a longer period than time face. It's completely normal. Plus, here's the good news: there's a cure for it. It's possible to transform your relationship from boring to exciting. Read on to find out how you and your SO can haul yourselves out of it.
1. Work on yourself.
You may be stuck in boredom not because of your boyfriend but because of a personal issue that you have to deal with yourself. It matters to look inside of you and identify what they are. Once you figure it out on your own, you'll then know if it's something you can resolve by yourself, if you need your SO's help, or if you need intervention that only professionals can provide. Be honest and never be afraid to seek help when you need it. Remember, you can't give anything that you don't have.
2. Communicate your needs honestly.
Aside from trust, honest communication is one of the things that will make your relationship survive amidst all the challenges. For this reason, be sure to get your SO's attention when you feel bored with him. Communicate your needs in a non-confrontational way and be sure to listen also to what he has to say. Work together in giving what each other need so both will feel validated, encouraged, and satisfied.
3. Put down all electronic devices.
Your smartphone, laptop, or tablet is supposed to bring you closer to your SO when you're not together. However, if you spend more time on it because of work and you don't even make time for your partner, your relationship will suffer. So limit your time using these devices and make it a point to give your partner the quality time he deserves. He should also do the same for you.
4. Use technology for the betterment of the relationship.
Who says you can't have cyber romance even when you're in the middle of work? Go ahead and send him a short love letter or send a short but sweet note as a PM. This will help him realize that even when you're not with him, he's in your mind. It will make him excited to be with you as soon as he's done with his commitments at work.
5. Go on mini dates.
Sometimes, unexpected things come up causing you to postpone important matters like your weekly date night. It's unavoidable but the better way to handle situations like this is to still show up, even for a shorter period of time. When it's obvious that you are making the effort and going the extra mile for your boyfriend whenever possible, it will strengthen your bond and bring you closer together again.
6. Plan and do new and exciting activities together.
If you have a bucket list, this is the perfect time to share it to your SO. He might be interested in trying on the activities that you are so eager to accomplish. You can also sit down together and create your couple's bucket list. Either way, the key is to start doing the things you've never ever done before as couples. This can include working out together, taking a trip to nowhere, or doing something extreme like skydiving. More importantly, be familiar with each other's favorite hobby and try doing it with your partner. I've tried and experienced the joys of gardening, painting, and playing video games when I spent time getting to know my SO well so I suggest you do the same. This will create a stronger bond between you and help bring back the excitement you had before, when your relationship was just new.
7. Give non-sexual touch as often as possible.
This includes giving backrubs, massages, hugs, and cuddles. Such kinds of gesture will make your other half feel special and taken care of, which is sometimes what he just needed to feel excited and rejuvenated again.
8. Learn the art of seduction.
Awaken his senses in ways you never did before. Try flirting with him, sending a sweet but naughty text or voicemail message, or anything you know will make him scream for more of you like he once did when you were newly dating. It always works.
9. Schedule the sex.
You need not have more sex than before. What you need is to find time to be intimate even amidst the business of life. Yes, it pays to be spontaneous but there are times when it doesn't work. Thus, it matters to schedule the day you'll spend making love to each other so you'll both look forward to that moment.
Relationships go through phases when you feel less intimate, less excited, and less interested with your SO than before. The key to surviving this phase is to put the spark back by exceeding what you've given to the relationship before whenever possible. After all, it's just a phase and if you and your boyfriend are determined to get over it, you will.