After an underwhelming holiday hook-up, I entered 2009 on a sex sabbatical. I planned to abstain until I was in love inside a committed relationship and was hoping to last all year. A few months in and feeling renewed, I started dating my boyfriend. We quickly connected, he asked me to be his lady and the sabbatical quietly tip toed out the door. Two years later, we still credit our solid start to clearing out unhealthy relationships before we dated.
So when Bartell Keithle gave me details on "The Booty Boycott," I was intrigued. And from the Facebook and Twitter comments from our interview, I wasn't the only one. "The Booty Boycott" encourages singles and couples to give up sex on the weekends to refocus their energy on self-development and dating. "It is a lifestyle change, so it takes time to create new habits. For some the new habit is learning to love themselves and feeling focused," he shared.
As someone who had participated in my own booty boycott before, I knew they could be successful. I also assumed the boycott was for singles. Brother Bartell let me know that couples could also participate. "Couples will enjoy the benefits of witnessing change in each other. This will bring about deeper intimacy."
I certainly agree. In workshops and coaching sessions, I often discuss how real intimacy is not about physical acts but emotional sharing and letting your true self enter the room. I first learned of couples enacting a "Booty Boycott" when a friend got married. She and her fiance were already living together, and decided to close the cookie jar three months before the wedding. I found it romantic to make their wedding night extra special and also bond emotionally before jumping the broom.
Abstaining from sex, doesn't mean giving up your social life or feeling sexy. A "Booty Boycott" can be a time to reconnect with your goals and fall deeper in love with yourself and the things you enjoy. It can also be stimulating to get to know someone better with their clothes on and for couples to discover new ways to connect.
Have your or would you participate in a Booty Boycott?