Finding Self-Worth in Jail: Getting Out by Going In

I was recently invited to speak to a group of women about their self-worth -- a subject I address in depth in my new book, What is Your Self-Worth, a Woman's Guide to Validity. What was unique about this speaking engagement was the fact that the twenty-five women I spoke to are among the more than 2000 currently incarcerated at the Los Angeles Country's Women's Detention facility in Lynwood. My relatively small audience was part of a special reentry program that aspires to help them learn new life skills that they'll surely need in order to change their lives -- with self-worth being chief among them.

Getting Out by Going in -- GOGI, as the program is known, is permitted and endorsed by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, and administered by founder and executive director, Coach Mara Leigh Taylor, author of Women in Prison - Women Finding Freedom. Coach Taylor teaches women how to GET OUT of old behavior by GOING INside themselves to find a sense of personal responsibility, personal accountability, and personal freedom. The goal is to guide incarcerated women on a new path that ultimately will help them reenter society and stay there - to break the cycle of crime, dysfunctional behavior and repeated offenses that lands 80% them back in the penal system time after time.

It's no secret that society is in desperate need of programs that can help the prison population reintegrate. At the end of 2008, there were more than two million men, women and children behind bars. Our prisons and jails are massively overcrowded and are dangerous places where disease and violence is commonplace, and our country incarcerates more people than any other nation. Unfortunately for citizens in the general population, recidivism among prison/jail inmates is a big problem.

At the time of my visit, more than 2000 women were incarcerated in a jail facility that was designed to hold less than 1500 - a significant percentage of them recurrent offenders. Some of these women have been in and out of the jail and prison system all of their lives. As you can imagine, it's a culture all its own, and a tough one to break free from. However, at some point, most prisoners pay their "debt" to society and are tossed back into it. The trouble is, most of them are not any better prepared to live a life without crime in the world outside than they were when they were busted in the first place. Reentering society without first having learned new habits and behaviors, and without establishing a significant support system is even tougher.

The experience of being inside a Detention Center evoked automatic responses at all ranges of my emotional spectrum. Since I've never been to a jail before, my preconceptions about jail and prison come from movies and television shows. I wasn't totally prepared for how I felt about what I saw. My body went on high alert as soon as I entered the building. Fear. Discomfort.

I was not allowed to bring anything into the facility -- not my purse, my phone, a bottle of water - nothing but my ID. I couldn't even carry the notes for my remarks -- my host, Coach Taylor, had to carry them. After giving up my ID to a steel-covered drawer, which disappeared into the fortified guard enclosure, I was ushered through the electronically controlled, perpetually locked doors of "the jail."

The place is bleak and stark. Though the sleeping cell areas are called "dorms," the simple metal bunk beds stacked three-high are the only pieces of furniture in them, and the absence of personal belongings makes the space look decidedly un-dorm-like. Okay, I know - jail is not supposed to have a summer camp atmosphere -- it is meant to be a punishment.

Coach Taylor toured me around the facility where we stayed mostly on the right-hand side of the hallway. Women being processed in, or being moved from one part of the facility to another, are walked single-file on the left-hand side -- some with their hands chained behind their back. For me, this was nerve-wracking. Though most of the inmates I came into contact with were pleasant and responsive, for the most part I was only seeing women who had won the opportunity to do kitchen detail, or attend a class. The women who were violent, had disobeyed jail rules, or had acted out in an inappropriate way, were detained in a separate area, in solitary-confinement cells.

Many of the women in jail know Coach Taylor. She's respected and applauded because she represents something nearly mythic; a chance at sustainable change -- a glimmer of hope that a ruined life can be rescued and salvaged.

As miracle workers go, Coach Taylor is right up there. The achievements of the GOGI program are extraordinary. Success in the business of counseling inmates in the penal system is measured by rate of recidivism -- and since its inception in 2008, the GOGI Campus boasts a 2.5 recidivism rate among its graduates. This is truly groundbreaking, because it means that 97.5 GOGI graduates reenter society successfully and stay there. Based on how difficult it is for women to escape gang life, poverty, addiction, habitual substance abuse, and forced prostitution, this program deserves a huge shout-out.

The GOGI program is first and foremost about finding internal freedom. Through specific exercises and concepts, such as being the Boss of Your Brain, Belly Breathing, and the Five Second Lightswitch, it teaches how to take full responsibility for one's life. And by following the guidelines, GOGI participants learn to be a more positive, loving, good and kind individuals. These are powerful lessons, because for many incarcerated women, words such as positive, love, good, and kind are not the terms they'd ever use to describe themselves.

The women in the GOGI program had been given my book several weeks prior to my visit, and had begun to work through the chapters like students in a classroom. They listened attentively as I spoke to them, and had plenty of questions for me at the end of my remarks. They were sometimes tearful, very curious, and decidedly hopeful. The women loved the positive affirmations in the book, and many told me they used them to start each day. All of the women were trying to grapple with feelings of self-loathing, and a palpable fear that they'd be unable to make the right choices in the future.

Despite the reasons and actions that landed them in the penal system in the first place, these twenty-five women were serious about trying to learn new ways of behaving, thinking, and dealing with their feelings. They were all anxious to learn how to feel good about themselves again -- to rediscover their self-worth, and to experience a happier, more fulfilling life, by taking personal responsibility, and personal accountability.

The path to learning how to rediscover, uncover and actualize a sense of self-worth is an especially difficult road for these women, but at least those in the GOGI program are taking it step by step. I was more than happy to be a part of their journey.

Find out more about GOGI.

Find out more about a woman's self-worth.

Follow Cheryl Saban on Twitter: www.twitter.com/csaban

Comments

[hindsiteis2020]

10 years ago I was 6 weeks pregnant &sentenced to 150 months in Federal Prison/Drug Conspiracy charge(1st offense). I was told Iwould have 12 hours with my baby afterbirth­&shackled,­due to length sentence,during the birth. I had a Case Mngr. that fought tooth&nail for me, was entered into theM.I.N.T.program. I researched this program and learned I was one of the first Inmates with a sentence over 10 years accepted After I gave birth, I spent 3 months with my son, took him home to be placed,self reported(again)to the prison, my sentence was reduced to 5 years thanks to co-defendent. I earned 2 business degrees while incarcerated, 48 self help certificates, self worth I'd never had, went through pretrial,prison,3 years parole worked 3 jobs after my release,rode the City Transit system to all 3 jobs. I vowed with a second chance,I would never let him feel the pain I felt for the way I brought him into this world.
Today, 5 yrs. after my release,I’m close to a 6figure income, have full custody of well adjusted son. All women/men in prison aren’t what society has envisioned. This program made ME better so HE could be better in life.Prison was the 2nd chance I needed to get back on track.
Why not utilize programs that promote success .it's obvioustheold 'Lock 'em up and maybe we won't see them' mentality isn't quite making the numbers in the right direction...

[lalilyman]

Great article. My sister is serving time in California State prison right now. But she was able to get into the Fire Camp program, so has learned a vocation in there (firefighting) that is developing the freedom, responsibility and constructive life you talk about. Thank god. It's the first thing she's ever really learned to do, and she loves it.

[PhilipB]

What a beautiful comment, and a testimony to the promise in all of us.
Thank you.

[MerrieWay]

Cheryl, much gratitude for your noble work and putting yourself out there, with a generous spirit. I've read your book "Self Worth" and I know its beneficial guide for these incarcerated women struggling with the vary issues you delve into. Preparing women for reentry into society is at high risk when they return to the ‘streets of crime’ culture that is home to them. They need ongoing support and help, and a Parole Officer, for accountability won't suffice.

Hopefully accountability partnerships can be formed - - A support group or an accountability partner for ongoing assistance could help with transitioning, and in ongoing growth and stability. Webinars and newer technology is a delivery approach that could be affordable.

Since children are often affected when their mother is released from jail, parenting, once again, becomes a vital issue. MerrieWay volunteers- how can we help your efforts Cheryl to empower 'all' women, and their families? There’s Power in gathering numbers- paving the way to inner and outer change.

www.merrieway.com Merrie Lynn Ross/founder

[lainey]

The "Coach" is doing commendable work, as are you. Thank you for this article and the hope you shared tonight. I believe in the power of finding the shining light in all of us and these women carry it too. What advocacy work do you do for children? I would love to hear more from you...

[Sinick]

I love what you are saying. However, with the collapse of the California economy and the draconian budget cuts by the Terminator, I'm afraid that your program will be curtailed somehow. Witness the pitiful condition of Folsom Prison that was once upheld as a model by the rest of the nation.

I bet that Coach Taylors' job will be on the line any day now. These days, a prison "Coach" is an unnecessary expense. Don't believe me?--ask the stockholders.