State of California,
I am writing this on behalf of the entire filmmaking and artistic community worldwide.
We have just learned the astonishing news of the sentencing of Roger Avary, Oscar-winning co-writer of Pulp Fiction and director of Killing Zoe, to one full year in prison resulting from his conviction on the charge of gross vehicular manslaughter.
Filmmakers, intellectuals, Gen Xers, movie geeks, and meth addicts from across the country and around the world are dismayed by this turn of events and you must know that it cannot stand.
True, Mr. Avary pleaded guilty last August to a crash that killed a passenger in his Mercedes-Benz and, true, he was driving over a hundred miles an hour and was legally intoxicated at the time. But all of this is of little consequence when balanced against one irrefutable fact: He helped write Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. Surely, the enduring legacy of these masterpieces -- not to mention the fact that he also directed a film in which a character played by Ron Jeremy was shot in the chest with a shotgun -- absolves him of this or any other crime he may have committed or will commit in the future. Besides, the victim in the case is dead, which means that he cannot demand that Mr. Avary be forced to serve this sentence. Trust us when we tell you that Andreas Zini would've wanted this whole ugly mess to be over and for Mr. Avary to be allowed to put it behind him. That is, if, you know, he were alive.
Mr. Avary is currently writing the script for Silent Hill 2, which we hear will do huge money on DVD. We think you'll agree that it is simply unconscionable that anyone stands in the way of this caliber of work and what it will mean for the artistic community and the world.
If only in the name of friendship between California and the rest of the civilized world -- which, let's admit it, is pretty strained right now -- we demand the immediate release of Roger Avary.
Thank You,
The Royal We (Chez)