03/06/2007 03:37 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Bill and Grace

Today did not start well for me. For some reason, my radio was tuned to Adam Carolla's radio show when it woke me up at 6:20. This morning he was talking about Bill Maher's comments on Friday's Real Time. I went to the show Friday night to say hi to some old friends. When the Dick Cheney assassination attempt came up, I immediately knew that the right would take it out of context, twist it around, and spit it out into the mainstream media. Which is exactly what happened. I'm sure Bill's statements about his statements are in some kind of form letter in his computer.

Dear Oversensitive Assholes:

Over the weekend, I have been accused of saying (circle one I LOVE TERRORISTS/I HATE AMERICA/I WANT OUR LEADERS DEAD). If you carefully read the show's transcript, I never said that. What I said was (SOMETHING NUANCED, SMART, AND TRUE). If you listen and/or read closely, you will see that I was making a larger point about (circle one FREE SPEECH/BRAVERY/DEMOCRACY). I am not happy that the terrorists (TOOK DOWN OUR TOWERS/TRIED TO KILL DICK CHENEY/ARE ALL ARABS), but I reserve the right to say what I said. I love my country so much that I (WANT IT TO DO THE RIGHT THING/FEEL THE NEED TO SPEAK ABOUT INJUSTICE/WANT TO KEEP MY JOB). New Rule: my new car must stop talking to me. "Turn here. Buckle your seatbelt. You're almost out of gas." If I want a bossy, overbearing woman to tell me how to drive, I'll get married.

Sincerely, Bill

It's interesting that in one week, someone from both the left and right is in hot water for their comments. Bill was making a larger point about how many people have died directly as a result of Dick Cheney's policies. Ann Coulter called a family man a faggot. Do you see the difference? Bill's point about Cheney was controversial because it tells the TRUTH. And people hate the truth. Ann Coulter's joke about John Edwards was a lie. Ann, as Bill will tell you, the best jokes tell the truth. They have a set-up that takes you down a path and then a punch line that surprises, causing laughter. For example:

There is some speculation that Ann Coulter has breast implants. That's like putting gold doorknobs on an outhouse.

Do you see the difference, Ann?