As the Senate Judiciary Committee takes up the Respect for Marriage Act today, we mark a major milestone on the path to equality for all American families. And while the Respect for Marriage Act may not become law during this Congress, take a moment to think about how far we've come in the 15 years since the Senate passed the Defense of Marriage Act.
It speaks volumes that 11 senators who voted for DOMA in 1996 now proudly count themselves as cosponsors of its repeal.
Progress is a great victory here, and equality advocates have a lot to be proud of today.
We're just not quite there yet on the Respect for Marriage Act. Even if we could break a Republican filibuster in the Senate, the bill certainly would not survive the House of Representatives.
That's not a reason to be sad today -- it's a reason to redouble our efforts to show that the love and commitment shared by same-sex couples is of equal value as that shared by heterosexual couples.
This is a different country than it was in 1996 when the Defense of Marriage Act was passed, and momentum is very much on our side.
When Americans were polled on marriage equality this spring, it showed for the first time that more people favor marriage equality than oppose it.
When Senator Carl Levin (D-Mich.) signed on as a cosponsor of the Respect for Marriage Act last month, he became the 30th cosponsor of Senator Dianne Feinstein's DOMA repeal bill.
When the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell was finally implemented in September, it capped an extraordinary 18-year effort.
When 13 U.S. senators -- myself among them -- came together this spring to record an "It Gets Better" video urging bullied teens not to give up, they pledged to work tirelessly for equality.
There is no question that we'll get there eventually. DOMA will be repealed. And when it is, I predict it will be by a bipartisan majority in both Houses of Congress. But DOMA is merely a symptom of the problem each of us who advocates for equality is trying to fix. We're not just pursuing marriage equality -- we're pursuing equality.
We must protect equality in our schools and pass the Student Non-Discrimination Act.
We must protect equality in our workplaces and pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.
We must protect equality in our families and pass the Uniting American Families Act.
Genuine equality is the cause to which we aspire, and to achieve it, we must focus not just on persuading our lawmakers, but persuading our neighbors. Tellingly, according to recent polling, the trait most predictive of whether a person is a supporter of same-sex marriage is whether that person has talked to a gay or lesbian person about same-sex marriage.
For those Americans who do not yet support equality, we must show them that the love same-sex parents have for their children is no less devoted than the love opposite-sex parents have for their kids. We must show them that families headed by same-sex couples do not have a negative impact on other families. In fact, they face the same challenges as every parent: arranging carpools, parent-teacher conferences, and getting their kids to eat their vegetables.
We will find our victories in each American who one day accepts that they have nothing to be afraid of from the equality movement, and that accepting people as they are is simply easier than objecting to them over whom they love.
We need to continue working to move LGBT equality into the mainstream, and we can't do that by demonizing those who disagree with us. If we're to have any hope of eradicating discrimination from our laws, it's going to take persuading the millions of Americans who just aren't quite sure yet.
The victory we celebrate today is one we should all cherish. Today we made progress, and for that, we should be proud.
Follow Sen. Chris Coons on Twitter: www.twitter.com/chriscoons
Next up: ENDA
Except for a few delusional conservatives, most Americans believe in the separation of church and state. The solution is simple. The solution provides a win-win for all concerned. The solution is, as we say, a NO BRAINER:
Remove terminology associated with religious beliefs or cultural traditions from state and federal law. Use tradition-neutral terminology to define the secular benefits and protections established by a secular union.
Individuals and organizations are welcome to go down to their club houses and do as much "marriage" as they can stomach, using whatever definitions and requirements they prefer. The legal benefits and protections formerly associated with the common English-language word “marriage” become available to all law-abiding, tax-paying similarly situated adults without anyone having a tantrum about their religious beliefs or cultural traditions.
What kind of person cares more about a smudge of printer ink on a secular, government-issued legal document than their law-abiding neighbors' Fourteenth Amendment RIGHT to Equal Protection of the Laws?
Even glacial progress.
It's not much, but it's a beginning.
The burning questions remain: Why did my party wait until there was no hope of achieving anything, at all to advance this? Will my party put this on the back burner, as they have always done before, when the elections are over.
A part of me says, great! Another part of me says: Ah, the DNC has finally realized that we are not the 1% minority they have considered us to be for years, but a minority whose votes are great enough to make the difference in 2012 between winning and losing the house, the senate, the presidency.
We will see. One thing is clear. Regardless of whether human rights and human status are granted soon or we lose in 2012 and it takes a few more decades, the sheer hatred of those conservative Christians who pretend we are a threat while they explicitly cut food and health aid to children and pregnant mothers has been shown up for the lie it is.
It was the contention of the majority at the time that it be so. I hope it takes many more decades to change. Oh and by the way, conservative christians are the most charitable people on earth, not Democrats.
There is no state interest in preventing gay couples from marrying. DOMA is nothing more than institutionalized discrimination, hatred and bigotry.
There is no rational reason for DOMA.
It has been struck down in federal courts (primarily for being unconstitutional, and it most certainly is). It is in the courts that we will finally win this and close this sad chapter in American history -- a chapter that has defiled our nation's founding principles of freedom, liberty, and equality for all.