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Sen. Chris Coons

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It Gets Better Is More Than a Message, It's a Movement

Posted: 06/29/11 11:11 AM ET

It's remarkable how much three words can say.

"You're not alone."

"I love you."

"It gets better."

The right three words can be the difference between hope and despair and, miraculously, "it gets better" has, for many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth, meant the difference between life and death.

That's why I worked with 12 of my Senate colleagues over the last two months to record a video for LGBT youth and the It Gets Better Project. You can watch it below:


It Gets Better has quickly morphed from a compelling message into a powerful movement. Organized last fall by nationally syndicated columnist Dan Savage and his partner, Terry Miller, after a rash of tragic suicides by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth, the It Gets Better Project has emerged at the nexus of two LGBT movements: the one that has spent a lifetime trying to convince the world that homosexuality was nothing to fear, and the other that has grown up unable to understand how anyone could think otherwise.

To its credit, It Gets Better is completely nonpartisan and shies away from getting involved in legislative politics.

But as legislators, it is our responsibility to try to build a nation that not only tells our youth that 'it gets better' but actually helps make it better. All of the senators who participated in our video are cosponsors of the bill to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act. Most are cosponsors of the Student Non-Discrimination Act, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, or the Uniting American Families Act. All supported the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

As my Senate colleagues and I say in the video, it's up to me, it's up to you, it's up to Democrats, it's up to Republicans, and it's up to every American who believes that equality for all is an equality indifferent to sexual orientation.

The fact is, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth have more reason for optimism about their place in this country than ever. The equality movement has more momentum than it's ever had.

In just one year, national support on same-sex marriage has gone up 11 points. For the first time, a majority of Americans -- 53 percent -- believe same-sex couples should be allowed to marry. That percentage has doubled in just 15 years.

New York's dramatic adoption of same-sex marriage last week showed that not even partisan walls can stand in the way of this movement. Becoming the sixth and largest state to allow same-sex couples to marry, New York did so with a Republican-led Senate and with the support of four Republican Senators.

It was, I believe, a turning point in our nation's fight for equality. Fear is giving way to hope. Bluster is giving way to reason. As Senator Al Franken says in the video, the political climate on equality in Congress has gotten so much better in recent years. There is a swelling feeling that marriage equality is no longer a question of "if" but a question of "when."

It will get better.

 

Follow Sen. Chris Coons on Twitter: www.twitter.com/chriscoons

It's remarkable how much three words can say. "You're not alone." "I love you." "It gets better." The right three words can be the difference between hope and despair and, miraculously, "it gets b...
It's remarkable how much three words can say. "You're not alone." "I love you." "It gets better." The right three words can be the difference between hope and despair and, miraculously, "it gets b...
 
 
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11:51 AM on 07/10/2011
What do you have against the gay community that you want to encourage physical activity that is unhealthy and lowers life expectancy more than smoking tobacco?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fightthapower
Brevity is the soul of wit....
10:49 PM on 07/03/2011
I think that we should love everyone with the love of God (or your chosen deity)—meaning you love without prejudice of one’s lifestyle choices. I am happy to see that there is more acceptance of alternative lifestyles to the point that it is ‘getting better’. As acceptance grows, it won't be so difficult for people to see past their hang ups in their daily interactions. Another area that needs a lot of improvement is health care for LGBTQ individuals. For instance, LGBTQ patients are often stigmatized (health disparities) in medical facilities and get substandard care. Some health professionals are unable to separate personal views from doing their job--hopefully in time, it will 'get better' as well.
05:40 PM on 07/03/2011
What a loving and reasonable way to reach out to teenagers going through the most difficult time of their lives. It also has the potential of reaching the friends of these teens and their parents. When you really think about it, the troubled teens are the canaries in the coal mine of our culture. The clergy and priesthood must take a hard look at the damage done to the innocent by insisting that living as a whole person is somehow sinful. Some societies thought that being left handed was a sign of evil. Most of society outgrew this fallacy. We have a long way to go but maybe we will finally feel free to question the taboos still in place.
Joel Smithis
Small business owner
03:43 PM on 07/03/2011
Imagine having "I am not a witch" instead.
06:43 PM on 07/03/2011
That's exactly what I thought!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Freddie27
Liberal Gay Jewish Atheist
01:26 PM on 06/30/2011
This is so fantastic and I'm really proud of my Senator for taking part, but remember actions speak louder than words. It shouldn't have to get better, it should already be better! We should be encouraging gay kids to call their parents and teachers when they're bullied, not suicide hotlines! School districts should have LGBT inclusive anti-bullying policies that make f-g as unacceptable a taunt as n----r, and make clear bullying is not a normal part of childhood.
And keep on working on repealing those homophobic laws that contribute to "trickle down" homphobia.
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the crustybastard
I could be worse, and have been.
03:29 PM on 07/03/2011
It gets a LOT better in Argentina, Dutch-administered Aruba, Belgium, Canada, Curacao, Iceland, Israel, Mexico, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Sint Maarten, South Africa, Spain and Sweden.

It gets better in Andorra, Austria, Australia, Brazil, Colombia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Finland, France, Germany, Greenland, Hungary, Ireland, Isle of Man, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, New Caledonia, New Zealand, Slovenia, Switzerland, United Kingdom, Uruguay, Venezuela and Wallis & Futuna.

Sorry kids, but in the United States, it doesn't really get better. These people and their party have no actual political will to fight for your equality. If they did, we wouldn't be behind all those countries listed above.

If you want to live a better life, pick a few countries from above, learn their language(s) and emigrate while you're still young.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
r henry
I live between concrete walls
06:12 PM on 07/07/2011
In the 20 years since I have come out of the closet in Missouri, it really has gotten better. The fight is louder and harder than ever but it's happening. When I was a kid, there was nothing like this.
10:22 AM on 06/30/2011
I'm really proud of New York, and I agree with you - it's a huge turning point in our nation's fight for equality. I'm still a bit amazed that marriage equality passed in a Republican senate. I definitely didn't see that coming.

I've been impressed by the It Gets Better project since its launch. It's been inspiring to not only the target, LGBT teens who are bullied, but to so many others as well. The IGB project has kind of fueled my passion for marriage equality, and I love reading and listening to all the inspiring stories.

Probably my favorite story is Belo Cipriani's in his book Blind: A Memoir - http://blindamemoir.com
Belo was attacked and blinded at age 26 by his childhood friends for being gay. His story is about dealing with his blindness and creating a new life for himself, and it's really inspiring. It definitely embodies the mission of the IGB project, and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in the movement.
shakesome
Freedom. Not corporatism, not socialism.
02:50 AM on 06/30/2011
If the people behind this movement were honest, they would not be generalizing 'it gets better' to young people. For some it may NOT get better, and not simply because society might not accept them (though to be honest, that is reality). But there are unsavory aspects to the homosexual lifestyle as practiced by SOME people. There is an element of flagrant promiscuity and, because of it, a higher incidence of HIV/ AIDS. I know that this simple comment will probably outrage some, but anyone who knows what's going on and isn't bound by political correctness knows that this is reality for many.
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03:28 AM on 06/30/2011
Anyone who knows what is going on knows that there is an unsavory aspect to heterosexual sexuality--prostitution, trafficking young girls, flagrant promiscuity, men keeping score of how many women they have sex with, rape, pedophilia, boys considering themselves as real men when they get girls pregnant--the more babies their conquests have, the more masculine they feel-- a higher incidence of STD's, unwanted pregnancies, and AIDS.

Anyone with half a brain knows that this is reality for many.
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Euglena Vorticella
Do you prefer we marry your str8 sons & daughters?
07:36 AM on 06/30/2011
you wrote my comment for me THANK YOU, Ever notice how that ilk can't STAY AWAY from stories about us?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
playflute2
flootz
10:05 AM on 06/30/2011
Thank you for writing this comment. It is what popped into my head as I read shakesome's comment. Thanks for pointing out that the things listed are not just found in the homosexual community.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onnozol
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
05:26 AM on 06/30/2011
People have crazy amounts of sex? What?!?!

There is an element of flagrant promiscuity in life. Heterosexual or otherwise. That is a bit like saying there is an overabundance of food at Safeway, implying the Vons down the street has none.
shakesome
Freedom. Not corporatism, not socialism.
02:44 AM on 06/30/2011
Maybe some naive folks think this 'movement' is mainstream and harmless.

As the article states, it's a "movement... Organized by ... Dan Savage". If you don't know who he is and what he stands for Google his name. Nice, right?
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
dgaisior08
History/English Student navigating the crazies
05:17 AM on 06/30/2011
What are you trying to imply here?
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Euglena Vorticella
Do you prefer we marry your str8 sons & daughters?
08:06 AM on 06/30/2011
just another one of those who are obsessed with stories about US. They CAN'T STAY AWAY. Like Perkins, Barber, LaBarbera, etc. They obsess over us all day, every day. Then collect money from others like them to oppose us in every way, rather than getting real jobs.
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Euglena Vorticella
Do you prefer we marry your str8 sons & daughters?
08:01 AM on 06/30/2011
why do you have this obsession with stories ABOUT US?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Michele Kobus
12:50 AM on 06/30/2011
Full Equality now, in marriage, in housing, in employment and in education. Nothing less. All the same Civil Rights, all the same Federal Protections and the full force of the Federal Government to insure those rights. Now.
People who tell us to wait untill the time is right will never think the time is right. If you accept waiting for your Civil Rights you will never get them. I have been told to wait since Clinton first ran. Force them to do it, shame them into doing it and do not believe anyone who tells you "I'll do it next election cycle".
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newtom
eschew obfuscation
08:05 PM on 06/29/2011
Thank you, Senator Coons! You make me proud to be one of your constituents. Keep up the good work! Keep fighting for the interests of the middle class and those who need it most.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ariando
Compassion: a feature, not a bug.
07:52 PM on 06/29/2011
Thank you Senator Coons. This is an important issue.
Since being kind to each other doesn't increase the deficit, I'm sure the Tea Party can have no objection to this. In fact, this campaign should decrease the deficit by helping our teens become stronger and healthier. It's a win-win all around. I expect Paul Ryan and Michelle Bachmann to be joining any day now.
05:25 PM on 06/29/2011
there is nothing that the government won't regulate.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ariando
Compassion: a feature, not a bug.
07:54 PM on 06/29/2011
You have a problem with government protecting vulnerable kids?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
talkstocoyotes
10:26 AM on 06/30/2011
It's a slam-dunk that many vulnerable kids have parents who won't protect them, especially if they're gay.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bob Morrow
09:39 PM on 06/29/2011
There is nothing that some people won't complain about as well...
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Delphi Omally
Out & Proud transgender female
04:58 PM on 06/29/2011
Thank you senator. As a national leader, your participation and those of your colleagues is demonstrative of the greatness of our country. As a veteran, I salute you sir. Please extend my salute to your colleagues. You have much on your plates and taking the time to "visit" us close and personal here means more than you guys will ever know. This is democracy in action and as a delicious example to the world.

As a transgender female, who has been the recipient of "it got worse" through a job loss, I felt compelled to write in great length a summation of my unique and hopefully accurate perspective and depiction of where we, the "T" , the subset of LGBT are today. It is my hope and desire that you take the time to read it to conclusion and share it with your colleagues so that for the "T" in LGBT, "It Gets Better" serves as more than just rhetoric.

http://transendgender.wordpress.com/2011/06/27/the-state-of-the-transgender-union-in-2011/

Thank you sir and again I salute you.

Dee Omally, USAF served
04:58 PM on 06/29/2011
I made a comment that maybe this Senator could spend his time on more important things. As I expected, I was immediately called all kinds of names, accused of all kinds of things, by some of the tolerant open-minded people. Of course none of them know me or my views on the issue, just that I said something opposed to their religion, sorry, liberal dogma. I note that this Senator sponsored only three bills during the 112th Congress. His official website page about the budget contains only one specific proposal "the bill would rescind earmarks that remain 90 percent or more unused nine years after being appropriated", forgive me if I don't find that particularly innovative. Everything else on the page is best characterized as platitudes and not specifics.
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gramma61
Pop popcorn without a lid.
07:24 PM on 06/29/2011
Perhaps you need to take into account the man is newly elected...That he is accomplished and well educated...and a minister.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ariando
Compassion: a feature, not a bug.
07:41 PM on 06/29/2011
Perhaps your original comment wasn't helpful on any front?
09:22 PM on 06/29/2011
Perhaps people's emotions made them miss the point?
04:36 PM on 06/29/2011
So glad I voted for you.