A couple of weeks ago I attended a presentation sponsored by the Swiss-Russian Forum (a sort of Chamber of Commerce) discussing ways to bridge a de facto cold war in progress between Eastern and Western Europe. The name of the lecture series is Matrioschka, which is the iconic Russian doll within a doll, with the meaning to keep engaging, getting ever deeper in understanding, until you find a common core.
The lecture featured the former Vice President of the EU, Professor Verheugen, who spoke about the strengths and weaknesses of both sides. He gave a healthy criticism of the EU, saying they seriously needed to get their act together first, before being able to beneficially influence anyone else. But once they could establish that, the way forward would be a one-on-one bespoke approach to the neighboring countries, as it was important to understand their unique cultures. He said this point was the biggest factor for success. Better to have mutual understanding than Mutually Assured Destruction, which was the way to keep peace in the old days.
Verheugen's point about needing a common understanding reminded me of the 1980s when Russia was just beginning to open up. Back then I visited Moscow five times over a 12-month period for a project I was working on for a multi-national. One Saturday a guide took a co-worker and myself around town showing us neighborhood shops, charming parks and amazing subway stations, some of which looked like underground opera houses with the world's steepest and fastest escalators. One memorable spot was a vista point where couples on their marriage day went to be photographed with the city in the background. Watching the parade of young hopeful faces and their families in their best outfits was very touching. Connecting with the natives, it was clear that not everyone in the country was an oligarch or sharing the same beliefs of their leaders.
One night I received a practical insight into respecting cultural differences when I hosted a dinner in a nice restaurant for the Russian project members. The four of them arrived already quite tipsy -- what one does when away from home on company expenses. And as a civilized host, I ordered an expensive bottle of wine to accompany the meal. It promptly disappeared like the guests were drinking unfermented grape juice. Finally after dinner, Oleg from Kiev had that look of desperately needing his after dinner cigarette. He pulled out a pack of Russian Marlboros and offered me one. No matter how many times he kept insisting, I refused as a non-smoker.
Natalya from St. Petersburg discretely explained to me that in Oleg's eyes real men drink and smoke so therefore there was no question that I must also have a cigarette. The drinking part was fine but finally after much insistence and taking pity on Oleg being very correct and not lighting up until I did, I gave in. Oleg lit up with a big smile while I tried not to cough from whatever was in the blend we were smoking. I had bonded beyond borders and made a good friend. There were a lot of bleary eyes next morning at our meeting but we had grown together, stepping over our nationalities.
Returning to my hotel each night I was always greeted by a group of U.S. rocket scientists in the lobby of my floor, drinking beer and talking about the International Space Station project they were collaborating on with their Russian comrades. The sense of possibility and teamwork was refreshing to see, further confirming respectful cooperation was key to peaceful relations.
As the professor said, warming up after a cold war or trying to thaw a current one with dialogue, understanding and respecting each country's unique culture is a good way to go beyond politics. And like the Matrioschka nesting dolls -- once you remove the layers and get to the core, you will find the common humanness we each possess, with the same wish for peace and prosperity.