John McCain Makes Bob Dole Look Like Bobby Kennedy

"He believes our world is dangerous. Our economy in shambles... Don't hope for a better life... McCain."

-- A McCain Ad I'll Admit I Probably Only Half Heard

It's been pretty hard to keep up with negative McCain ads this week. They're like suicide bombings. You're reading about one and then you hear about another and you think, wait, is this the same one with a different body count, or something new? That poor country. I hope Lara Logan is all right.

(Or isn't she back here now, and carrying John Edwards' love child? Like I said, it's hard to keep up.)

First there was the ad that mocked Obama for not visiting all the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan one at a time. Just in groups. Like the hundreds you could see in the ad.

Callous bastard. And stupid troops, too. Falling for it.

Then there was ad that said all the TV commentators loved Obama, which was mostly built out of clips of TV commentators on Fox shitting on other TV commentators for loving him, which proves all the commentators love him, because here are ones that don't, saying others do.

(No mas, Señor Borges! My head!)

Anyway, it was called "Love" and it had sarcastic lovey-dovey music under it, so you get the point: Not only is McCain against Hope, he's also against Love.

Then there was the ad that said Obama was like Britney Spears because people like him. Because if there's one thing John McCain holds in greater contempt than Hope and Love, it's popular opinion. It's a slippery slope from there to majority rule.

This seemed like an unusual position for a nominee to take, in a political system built on the idea of getting the most votes, but okay.

I was still digesting that when the "Moses" ad came out. The point of this one was that there are voters who are so tragically, laughably ignorant they're actually thinking of voting for someone who inspires them. They're assholes. You know, like the Israelites.

People with faith! They'd be sad if they weren't so damn funny!

Don't they get it? It's a garbage existance -- even if Jihadists don't kill you -- and you're just making fools of yourselves with this "change" bullshit. So pull up your socks, stop acting like some love-struck German, and vote McCain.

He won't disappoint you. Because he's not promising you anything.

--

Let's recap the reasons the ads say not to vote for Barack Obama:

-He visits the troops.

-Political analysts like him -- except for the ones who don't.

-Tens of Millions of Americans have been inspired by his campaign.

-He draws huge crowds, not only here in America but in the capital cities of our allies, where he also enjoys the respect and admiration of their democratically-elected leaders.

Just like Paris Hilton.

Let's recap the reasons the ads say to vote for John McCain:

-He's sarcastic.

Where do I sign up?

--

There's only one thing John McCain hates more than popular sentiment, popular culture and overwhelming popular support, and that's elitists.

--

Here's what John McCain says about his new campaign theme, "Idealism Makes Me Laugh" --

Republican John McCain on Friday defended his campaign's new Web ad mocking Barack Obama as a presumptuous messianic figure, saying it was important to "display a sense of humor" in the presidential contest ... "I don't think our campaign is negative in the slightest," McCain said. "We think it's got a lot of humor in it, we're having fun and enjoying it ..."

McCain's ad campaign does have a lot of humor in it, but it's not the kind of humor you generally hear from a candidate about voters. It's the kind of humor you usually hear from a wife beater about women.

--

People keep comparing John McCain's humor to Bob Dole's. We're supposed to accept their vicious, ceaseless, fixer's fatalism as a kind of manly candor. Sure, they turned their war wounds into public office, and public office into a trough, but that's because it's an ugly world out there. Grown-ups know that politics are a con job and government exists to do favors for its friends and send the poor to die.

You gotta laugh.

At least Bob Dole could appreciate Britney Spears.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt8uNG02ixA

Comments

[SwampeastMike]

Robert Dole forgot to show his great sense of humor during the primaries and suffered for the mistake.

In sum, the joke in these ads is quite clear to far more than "wife beaters".

You are chosen to be a messiah; politicians sometimes get a big head and try to act like them. A media creation like Britney Spears is fine for the media--and other things--but they're often overwhelmed by the pressure at the top after their meteroic rise.and just do whatever it is they think people want them to do until the cork blows.

[JJeff88]

In theory, the Dole/Kennedy allusion is right-on.

In practice, the 2 major tracking polls have narrowed by roughly 6 points since McCain initiated his assault.

Whassup with that?

Sen. Obama had better find an answer.

[mingusman]

The answer is the rhetorical question: "Why the hell was it that I want to be president of these stupid people?"

[lexnekst]

Did anyone else notice the 'moses' ad was a direct ripoff from a joke Jon Stewart did last weel about Obama's mountaintop speech?

The McSames are so unoriginal and obsessed with Obama- I bet McCain has Obama as a facebook friend- just so he can know if any of Obama's friends make a change they can pounce on.

Sad little McBushDole.

[Pepper14]

I think what has most people upset is that these ads seem to be working. McCain is now tied in the polls with Obama after a 7 point lead and Obama is losing ground in the swing states. If they weren't working McCain wouldn't be doing it and you can think he is stupid but this is one smart man.

[ssb752]

He's an elitist = he's black (insert favorite racist term here)
He's popular = he's black
He doesn't visit the troops = he's black
He has a funny name = he's black
He is a muslim = he's black
He is different = he's black
etc. etc. etc. etc.
All just racist window dressing. Sad.

[DrToketee]

"McCain's ad campaign does have a lot of humor in it, but it's not the kind of humor you generally hear from a candidate about voters. It's the kind of humor you usually hear from a wife beater about women."

What an incredible powerful statement. I would hope that much of America finally wakes up and realizes that this is the REAL John McCain.

[DonJeff]

One of the best political satires I have read in many a moon. So true and so due.

[yorkie]

THIS IS THE COMMENTARY THAT SHOULD BE READ BY ALL, AND HAVE MUCH OF IT IN ADS TO GET US TO THINK. LET'S HOPE OBAMA'S CAMP IS READING THE HUF. POST AND IS READY TO LUNCH OPERATION RESTORE AMERICAN PROGRESSIVE IDEALS FOR TRUTH,JUSTICE,REASON AND HOPE.

[Rog49Thomas]

An insightful piece.

http://nymag.com/news/politics/powergrid/48928/

[BeltwayBette]

When one candidate depends on lies and hubris to try to damn his deserving opponent , it is pitiful.
It also makes one parse McCain"s words and behavior more carefully than one might otherwise do. So I have and my observations of McCain"s repeated factual errors, constant blunders, lack of knowledge about political geography, and off putting bizarre presentations sends one question zooming high on my radar screen.
Are these signs of "senior moments" (bad enough), a "breezy personality" -- or signs of a cognitive illness? Why is the national press not asking this important question? This is information that is urgently needed by the American voter. Big Mac's being vetted to be president of the most powerful nation on the planet. The man who will determine our futures. The man who says "Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran."
As for McCain's claim to be the best "commander in chief", he is inaccurate. Forty years ago, he was a miitary hero -- as were many others. Perhaps he was a courageous -- and honorable -- man. I don"t see that man today. And it"s today that counts.
A military veteran for Obama for President

[Humeaudenparker]

If McCain is doing this to energize the base, it's working--I'm so angry right now that I would vote for Obama even if he authorized drilling for oil in my living room!

[Yurdelite]

THAT is funny!!! We can only hope the "59 million dummies" who voted for GWBush have seen the light...We had better pray and pray real hard even if you are an atheist. Pray that the Lord delivers us from the evil republicans...

[Rog49Thomas]

Mission Accomplished!

And what are you and the rest of the punditorcracy mindlessly nattering on about?

The war in Iraq?
Social justice?
Unemployment?

No, we're all discussing the crucial issue of whether

(a) Brother Neo is more like Paris or Britney

(b) Did Brother Neo try to "trade" on his race?

[Knowitall]

I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling down and want my spirits lifted, I start surfing so that I can find the smiling face of John McCain so that I can listen to his hilarious jokes--he even cracks himself up!! And those laugh-a-minute ads. I've always thought that what people find funny tells you a lot about their character. What do those ads tell us about McCain???

[EngineerBill]

I think I figured out McCain's strategy. That is to be the middle sister of the Brady Bunch. "Everybody always talks about Obama. Obama Obama Obama!"

[imfedup]

That would be Jan . . .

[CaptainVideo]

What the former "straight talker" is doing is indeed the Karl Rove strategy of attacking your opponent's strenghts and turning them into weaknesses. But after seeing what they did to Kerry, the Obama camp should have been prepared for it. Especially after McCain hired some of the worst of the Bush campaign people. They sure don't show any sign of having had a plan ready to counter this. Their response so far has been pathetic. This could have been very effectively countered by arguing that McCain is jealous because he cannot get crowds like this and that the whole thing is a bad case of sour grapes on McCain's part.

Actually the Obama campaign should have made a preemptive strike by using the Rovian technique against McCain first by turning his military record into a weakness. For example, they should have pointed out that having been a fighter pilot and getting shot down does not qualify one to be commander in chief. Obama should have stood behind Wesley Clark on this and had other general supporting Obama back Clark up. Failing to back Clark up was a major blunder on Obama's part.

Obama needs to understand he is dealing with conservatives without concience who are perfectly willing to misrepresent, distort, and lie to achieve their aims. He has to be willing to get down into the gutter with them and hit back even harder than they hit. If he is not willing to do this, he will lose.

[Heru1]

Absolutely not. Thats exactly what theyre trying to provoke. All O has to do is stay centered while Cain disgraces himself.

[Twentylaws]

Stooping to the level of one's opponent doesn't gain one more ground!

As to your second point of "turning his military record into weakness" O's surrogate Wesley Clarke did a bang up job of doing this for him a month ago! (Getting shot down and becoming a POW doesn't qualify a person for the presidency!)

People question why O didn't attack Hillary with all of her old baggage...he won the nom without having to go there. This politician is using new and improve techniques! Folks its working!

[Twentylaws]

We won the cold war not with MIGHT just using our brains...remember !

[Tinsdale]

Captain Video,
Excellent points.
Their Rovian game plan is in full gear and Senator Kerry ignored it and suffered deeply by his inaction.
General Wesley Clark is head and shoulders above McCain in heroism, character, intelligence and ability. His comments about McCain respectfully pointed out the truth regarding McCain's light resume as a future "war president ." McCain's military service is his campaign lynch pin. Pull out that critical piece or raise doubts about it and the McCain campaign unravels.
That is why the neocons and their Fox News acolytes immediately and ferociously attacked General Clark and twisted his words. They feared that awful truth revealed by General Clark, a greater war hero and more accomplished military leader. They also wanted to marginalize Clark beacuse they deeply fear him as an Obama VP Choice.
Senator Obama made a serious strategic mistake in not aggressively countering their bluster and blowback. He appeared weak and compliant in the minds of those who attacked Clark.
Obama dithered and that attack was also reconnaisance, testing Obama. It was a prelude to be followed by similar but stronger attacks. If Obama dithers again we are going to see a presidential campaign in serious peril and it won't be McCain's.

[jckamaraj]

no it will backfire. i know guys who thinks that McCain is a hero(may not be fit to be a president), so if you attack his war records that might be a bad point against obama. i think that's why Obama camp is avoiding that topic and trying to take the high road