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Chris Kelly

Chris Kelly

Posted: February 1, 2008 02:02 PM

Mitt Romney Has Santorumentum!


In this morning's Wall Street Journal, a "senior advisor" to Mitt Romney conceded that the governor:

"... could use something big to "move the ground," citing as an example the endorsement of Democratic contender Barack Obama by Sen. Edward Kennedy and other Kennedy family members."

And then, Lords of Kolob be praised, it happened. Later this very same day, Mitt Romney was endorsed by...

Rick Santorum.

Did you feel the earth move?

--

Rick Santorum? The Romney answer to the Kennedys is Rick Santorum? Was Pat Sajak busy? What about Eric Robert Rudolph? He's a vague unpleasant memory who didn't like gays and abortion. What's he doing?

No, that wouldn't work. Because Mitt Romney saved the Olympics, and Eric Robert Rudolph tried to blow them up. What the heck. It's a big tent.

--

I'm too lazy to look it up, but I'll bet Rick Santorum has been spending his time -- since the people of Pennsylvania expelled him like a stillborn -- running some kind of foundation. Family values, perpetual war, that sort of thing. And I wouldn't be surprised if that foundation turns out to be in line for a nice donation from Romney '08.

The way $10,000 from the Romneys made all the difference to Massachusetts Citizens for Life, and their opinion of the -- until then "effectively pro-choice" -- governor back in 2006.

The difference between Mitt Romney and St. Paul is Paul was converted right away, while Mitt had to wait for his check to clear.

"Those scales should fall from your eyes in three to five business days."

--

Romney also gave ten grand to the National Review, and then they endorsed him. Which just goes to show, Jonah Goldberg didn't grow up in a whorehouse without learning a thing or two.

"Mom, what's that thing you do with your pinky when you when the guy's taking too long? Oh yeah, thanks."

--

Here's what Santorum said:

"In a few short days, Republicans from across this country will decide more than their party's nominee. They will decide the very future of our party and the conservative coalition that Ronald Reagan built. Conservatives can no longer afford to stand on the sidelines in this election, and Governor Romney is the candidate who will stand up for the conservative principles that we hold dear. Governor Romney has a deep understanding of the important issues confronting our country today, and he is the clear conservative candidate that can go into the general election with a united Republican party."

In case you missed it, Mitt Romney is a conservative.

Here's Mitt thanking Rick:

"I am honored to have Senator Santorum's support. Throughout his career of public service, he has always led with a steadfast commitment to our party's conservative principles. He has fought for life, marriage, tax cuts and a stronger national defense. In the coming days, I look forward to working with him as we fight for our party's conservative foundations."

Here's your check. Don't conserve it all in one place. 


--

I'm just being flip, about Mitt Romney paying Rick Santorum for an endorsement. (And I'm sure the reason it happened now, and not a year ago, is because Santorum's been so busy.) If I truly searched my heart, I'd have to admit that Rick Santorum was motivated by a nobler purpose: Seething hatred for John McCain.

Here's Rick Santorum last month (Gosh, in the National Review!):

"The bottom line is that I served 12 years with him, 6 years in the United States Senate as leader, one of the leaders of the Senate -- the number-3 leader -- who had the responsibility of trying to put together the conservative agenda, and almost at every turn on domestic policy, John McCain was not only against us, but leading the charge on the other side."

Set aside being a gay-bashing warmonger who hates women. Anyone who says "the bottom line" is a jerk off.

Also, how can we be sure it's really the bottom line? He forgot to say, "Period. End of story."

--

Bottom line, the problem with John McCain is that he has a screw loose. (What's that quote from Shawshank Redemption about guys who can't make it on the outside?) But it's been a great couple of days, since the Florida primaries, listening to the right wing talking heads lose their shit. Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity and the whole crew. The impotent rage they feel for the guy. And for the stupid Republican voters in the primaries and caucuses, in state after state, who keep voting for him.

Goddamit! You're Americans! I'm on TV! Why won't you do what you're told?

And now we're almost obliged to cite Brecht's Die Lösung.

After the uprising of the 17th of June
The Secretary of the Writers Union
Had leaflets distributed in the Stalinallee
Stating that the people
Had thrown away the confidence of the government
And could win it back only
By redoubled efforts. Would it not be simpler
In that case for the government
To dissolve the people
And elect another?

And we're totally obliged to characterize Ann Coulter's position like this:

I'm taking my balls and going home.

Period.

End of story.

 
 
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11:25 AM on 02/04/2008
Chris Kelly must blog daily.

Period.

End of story.
12:18 AM on 02/03/2008
And the day he left office and the new governor was able to see the books it was announced that he had left behind a $1B deficit!

Yet, at one point he claimed to have ballanced the budge every year. And on CNN claimed to have left a $2B rainy day fund!
05:14 PM on 02/02/2008
"Bottom line, the problem with John McCain is that he has a screw loose. (What's that quote from Shawshank Redemption about guys who can't make it on the outside?)"

I would never have had the guts to use that, assuming I had the wit to think of it (I don't).
01:35 PM on 02/02/2008
To all those pundits who are predicting Mitt will do well in the south on Super Tuesday--wrap yourself in cellophane and call yourself SUCKER! I've sat in many southern churches on Sunday and heard Mormon's called a "cult" and "wolves in sheep's clothing" from the pulpit.
Mitt would be an easier opponent next fall, but he's going down in flames.

YES, WE CAN! Barack '08!
01:15 PM on 02/02/2008
Ah, Sanctimonius Santorum. "Get thee with Mitt, thou CONSERVATIVES, for I sayeth so, and I art the Kingdom and the Glory forever and ever Amen."
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Rockin' the cranky.
10:39 AM on 02/02/2008
Islamic dog on fetus.

I'm making a tee shirt.
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03:56 AM on 02/02/2008
MAN-ON-DOG SEX... Santorum hates Man-On-Dog sex as much as he hates gay sex.

When last I heard, Santorum was drafting "Enemies Lists" at The White Heretige Foundation, or maybe it was the equally vile AEI.
02:39 AM on 02/02/2008
I bet Santorum was all too happy to accept Romney's check: http://www.openleft.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=3426
12:46 AM on 02/02/2008
McCain is a perpetual-war, nut-job but republicans, the unthinking, and the fox watchers will vote for him anyway. I'm worried that McCain would be more likely to defeat Clinton or Obama than Romney. So I'm rooting for Rommel oops Romney in the GOP primary.
One good thing to come out of a McCain primary win would be to see what those turds and whores on fox do, when they have to root for him.
11:20 PM on 02/01/2008
Say what you will about Romney, but he's far and away better than McCain.

Not only is McCain much too liberal, he's a big, fat liar.

He said over and over how he's never entertained the idea of leaving the Republican party. Now there have been numerous statements from different people saying that is categorically false.

In 2001 when the Republicans held control of the Senate with a 50-50 split, Democrats immediately started looking for someone to pick off and throw power back to themselves. They were looking at 3 people. Lincon Chafee, John McCain, and Jim Jeffords. McCain had numerous discussions with Tom Daschel, John Edwards, and Harry Reid to discuss leaving the Republican party. And they all agree that he was receptive to these discussions, even if he never actually cut a deal with them.

Once Jumpin' Jim Jeffords cut his deal, the rest of it was all unnecessary and it ended at that point.

But then again in 2004, there were stories that John Kerry was considering offering McCain the VP nomination. The story was always that McCain rejected Kerry's advances. Now Kerry is on the record saying that McCain's people were the ones that actually instigated the discussion in the first place! It wasn't Kerry recruiting McCain, it was the other way around.

How the media lets all this slide is beyond me. The guy made despicable lies about Romney's record against timetables. He is now lying about his loyalty to the Republican party, or lack thereof.

If Republicans are stupid enough to allow this guy to get nominated, we deserve to lose.
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10:29 PM on 02/01/2008
Oh no the right is losing relevance ... time to build those bomb shelters we've been putting off!

Power is a vacuum, there is a limited amount of it and someone has to occupy it at all times. People hate to lose power and will go to great lengths to maintain it.

Don't forget it.
09:43 PM on 02/01/2008
"While you Hollywood elitist traitors sneer, decent people are defending this great nation from the mortal threat of dog on fetus. A Romney-Santorum ticket will defend our homeland from Islamic dog on fetus."

How dare you talk about Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, and Fred Thompson like that! For Shame!
08:31 PM on 02/01/2008
To set the stage here, Coulter is going to dine at Rick's. The place has fallen on hard times and the waiter is Rick.

AND THERE WON'T BE A TIP!

Alas for Fox,
alas for Coulter,
for right wing jocks
and this drudge at their alter.

For of many sad words
of tongue or pen,
some sad ones might be
"She"s done it again."

At a table for two
She's asked for her pleasure
And with a righteous tongue
says "McCain at my leisure."

"I'll tell you when! Go away from me now!"
And with sharp slathering tongue
thinks of McCain,
and of eating her young.

The waiter has taken the other setting.
She meant it to stay.
(Ah yes, "Go away from me now!")
Coulter looks ahead
at an empty chair.
Alas.

(Thanks and an apology to John Greenleaf Whittier who published "Maude Muller" in 1867.)
08:27 PM on 02/01/2008
If I were a Republican candidate for my party's nomination and wanted to score points with the average (middle of the road) Republican voter, the very LAST person I'd want an endorsement from would have to be G. W. Bush - with Rick "sheet stain" Santorum running a very close second.

We Pennsylvanians gave Ricky the big boot outta his seat in the Senate for good reason - he's a nutjob. He's so far out on the right wing that he's about to drop off of the tip of the edge feather.

If you want to really ruin Willard's run for the White House, tell everybody you know that Staintorum has endorsed him. He's gonna drop in the polls faster than a prom dress.

Pa Firefighter

"Cogito, ergo Liberal!"
07:45 PM on 02/01/2008
"I am honored to have Senator Santorum's support. Throughout his career of public service, he has always led with a steadfast commitment to our party's conservative principles. He has fought for life, marriage, tax cuts and a stronger national defense. In the coming days, I look forward to working with him as we fight for our party's conservative foundations."

Santorum is some exemplar of conservative principles. He never lived in the house he bought to run for the Senate; it was too small for his family to all fit. He ripped off the tax payers by having the school district pay for his children to attend a school which the tax payers were not responsible to pay. He never refunded the money.