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Mr. Jenna Bush Gets a Piece of the Action

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The White House would not comment, but the couple are expected to honeymoon in Europe. After that, they plan to live in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom townhouse in Baltimore's Federal Hill. She plans to return to teaching, and he will work for Constellation Energy. -- Associated Press 5/11/08

Did you catch that?

I know. It should be "the couple is expected." It's like just writing about the Bushes makes you stupider.

No, not that. "Constellation Energy." Doesn't that mean anything to you?

Vaguely. Didn't Parliament-Funkadelic use it to power the Mothership?

You know I hate it when you talk about old people music.

Sorry.

Constellation Energy is the 33rd worst corporate air polluter in the United States.

Well, then there's nowhere to go but up. I'll bet Henry Hager will get them into the high twenties in no time. I can see beyond his accomplice-date-rapist good looks. That boy's a comer.

They also just happen to have an application with the Nuclear Regulatory Commission to build the first nuclear power plant in America since Three Mile Island.

Just him and Jenna?

Constellation Energy. The company that's hiring Henry Hager. The President's new son-in-law.

You can't let anyone be happy even for a day, can you?

You know where they want to open their new nuclear reactor -- if they get permission? Calvert Cliffs. Fifty miles from the White House.

Well, unless they put it up before November, that's not really a Bush problem, is it?

And you know who's going to build it?

You know what bugs me about Henry Hager? People Magazine says when he wanted to marry Jenna, he talked to the other twin first. And then he asked George and Laura and "they kept the plan a secret from their daughter" for more than a month. Makes you wonder how he's handling the honeymoon, just one-on-one. Or if he's getting some folks from the hotel to hold her down.

Stop trying to change the subject. You know who's going to build Constellation Energy's new nuclear plant?

No, and I don't want to know. I just want it to all be over.

Here's a clue: They have over a billion dollars in cost-plus-fixed-fee contracts in Iraq, and ties to the Bin Laden family.

Please don't say "Bechtel."

The Bechtel Construction Co. of Frederick, Maryland.