While you read this, Alaska's First Dude, Todd Palin, is riding a snowmobile -- I'm sorry, snow machine -- 1971 miles from Big Lake to Fairbanks. In the course of performing this awesome feat, his Arctic Cat's powerful two-stroke engine will emit the same amount of hydrocarbons as an automobile driving from Chicago to San Francisco and back 150 times.
A small price for the rest of us to pay to honor the indomitability of the human spirit and one man's ability to sit and hold on.
It's not just a blaze of glory and aromatic hydrocarbon. A conventional two-stroke engine emits as much as a quarter of its fuel unburned, directly into the air. This week, as a participant in the Iron Dog™ snow machine race, Todd Palin will release as many cancer-causing and smog-forming pollutants as a Chevy Malibu driven around the Earth at its equator 28 times.
Seems like a lot of work, just to get away from Sarah Palin.
But Todd's not just doing it because he hates his home life and likes things that make loud noises and emit benzene. He does it because it's there. And for hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and gifts from corporations who do business with the Governor's office.
For riding a snowmobile.
Something you could train a bear to do.
The Emperor Nero used to clean up at the Olympic games. It was eerie. He won everything. According to Suetonius, he once won a chariot race despite falling off and not finishing the course. That's how good he was. He also never wore the same clothes twice. So he would have fit right in with the Palins there also.
I'm not insinuating anything. I'm just saying.
The total purse value of this year's Iron Dog™ is $159,050. The sponsors include the petroleum giants Tesoro and Conoco-Phillips; State Farm, Wells Fargo, Frontier Airlines, Alaska Airlines and the Alaska First National Bank.
The Iron Dog™ has fewer than 40 entrants a year, and one of them is always Todd.
Does this smell? I'm probably the wrong person to ask. I hate the cold and I think motor sports is an oxymoron. But he is Alaska's First Lady, and Tesoro is an oil company.
Let's say this was Louisiana in the '30s. If Texaco sponsored a pancake-eating contest, and Huey Long's wife kept winning it, there would have been talk.
To be fair, Todd can't win the whole purse. There are lots of little door prizes just for rookies and women and steak dinners for Cutest Hat. Just like in Jack London days.
And, to be fair, Todd doesn't always walk away from the camping trip with the hundred grand first prize. He's only won four times.
Once after Sarah was elected to the Wasilla City Council, once after she was elected mayor, the year she was appointed to the Alaska Oil and Gas Commission, and the year she was elected governor.
Yet she supports her husband and the oil companies wasting oil and money driving nearly 2000 miles cross country to prove what? Which driver is the toughest?
Apparently making her husband feel like a man is more important than keeping her constituents from freezing to death.
Just because it's far colder in Alaska than most other parts of the country does not give them license to change the lexicon.
Now... doing anything for purely public service motivations would be a conflict of interests for her.
1992- Todd wasn't racing yet / Sarah wins Wasilla City council seat E
1995- Todd's 1st win after placing 5th in 1993 and a DNF in 1994 / Sarah wins 2nd election for the same city council seat.
1996- Todd gets a DNF / Sarah wins the Wasilla mayoral election.
1999- Todd gets a DNF / Sarah wins the Wasilla mayoral election again.
2000- Todd's 2nd win / Sarah is still mayor her term ends in 2002.
2002- Todd's 3rd win / Sarah looses the Republican Lieutenant Gubernatorial Primary Election.
2003- Race canceled / Sarah serves as the public member of the Alaska oil and gas Conservation Commission.
2004- Todd gets 2nd place / Sarah's 1 year appointment to the commission ends in Jan.
2005- Todd gets 2nd place / Sarah is getting her Gubernatorial campaign in order.
2006- Todd gets 2nd place / Sarah wins Gubernatorial election.
2007- Todd's 4th win / Sarah just became Governor.
2008- Todd gets 4th place / Sarah looses as the Republican running mate in the presidential election.
Seek the truth for yourself: http://www.irondog.org/previous_races/champions.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electoral_history_of_Sarah_Palin
http://www.aogcc.alaska.gov/WhoWeAre/terms.shtml
http://www.irondog.org/racers/bios/2009/22.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Palin
snow mobile.
I do disagree that a trained bear could ride one-it couldn't-and current two-stroke technology makes TP's engine one of the cleanest burning and most efficient around. Today's two- and four-stroke snowmobile engines are computer-controlled,fuel-injected,and much more efficient,while producing much more power,than the engines of 40,30,and even 10 years ago. Check your facts a LOT more carefully before making such generalizations,Mr Kelly.
But just like recycled email jokes, the joke that is sarah isn't all that funny anymore (despite the new material that comes along daily). If only there were a spam filter large enough for the whole annoying travesty.
"A small price for the rest of us to pay to honor the indomitability of the human spirit and one man's ability to sit and hold on."
BUT
before I start criticizing Todd for spewing megatons of harmful emissions while taking part in a race I'd check the facts.
A modern day direct injection two stroke engine, the type of which powers Palin's machine, burns cleaner than most four stroke engines employed in most cars like your Audi. So your comparison falls apart. From what orifice did you pull that 150 times Chicago to San Fransisco figure from?
If you don't like her or the fact that her husband engages in competitive motorsports, just say so. Don't resort to decades old stereotypes so you can smugly look down upon her.
Hey, I bet you wouldn't dump on Danica Patrick for doing what she does now would you? But then she looks better in a two piece than Todd does in a one piece (snowsuit).
You really are a scion of Mme Palin. You deflect criticism you don't have an answer for with vague personal attacks. I guess you live in the "real America" too?
Your response sounds, and looks, like it came out of a bong.
You ought to see the way the fawn over her at that silly pink website...Team Sarah
http://www.teamsarah.org
But be careful...if they don't like what you say they BAN you from the site...nothing like having an open conversation. True conservatives.
BTW, Wells Fargo is one of the sponsors...the same Wells Fargo Bank that got bailout money?
Geesh!!!