12/28/2013 05:13 am ET Updated Feb 27, 2014

The Top 17 News Stories of 2013 With Analysis by a Newser Commenter

I'm a busy man, and I like my news in 50-to-100-word chunks, like fragments of Sappho. So I couldn't get by without the news aggregation site Newser. Their motto is "Read Less Know More," which is also my daughter Gretchen's approach to AP English, and we'll see how far she gets.

For analysis, I like to lean in and dig deeper, not unlike a dental hygienist, but I don't have much time for that either, so I rely on Newser commenters like Ed_LV. (I don't know who Ed_LV is, and I hope I never find out, but he or she is absolutely 100 percent real. You can look it up.) Whether it's politics, economics, crime, medicine, trends or tragedy, Ed_LV cuts through Newser's four or five cumbersome sentences of who, what, where and/or when to give me the why.

Here's a look back at 2013, with a year of absolutely real, contemporaneous comments from Ed_LV:

June 8, 2013
'Night Stalker' Serial Killer Dead at 53
"Good riddance to bad rubbish."

August 8, 2013
Graffiti Artist, 17, Dies After Police Tasing
"Good riddance to bad rubbish."

August 21, 2013
Escaped Inmate Killed by His 71-Year-Old Hostage
"One more Obama supporter gone."

September 3, 2013
Ariel Castro Kills Himself
"No loss there."

September 24, 2013
Nevada Teen Sought in Murder of Mother, Brother
"No more Obama events for this guy."

September 28, 2013
Hunger Strike Puts Jailed Pussy Rioter in Hospital
"Good riddance."

October 5, 2013
Man Who Set Himself on Fire on DC Mall Dies
"Good for him."

October 24, 2013
Slain Teacher Asked Student to Stay After for Math Help
"If Obama had a son..."

November 1, 2013
Airport Shooter Identified as 23-Year-Old
"Obviously upset over Obama's health care lies."

November 21, 2013
Teen Dies After Drinking Liquid Meth
"Good riddance."

November 22, 2013
2 of 5 Kids Pulled From Underwater Car Die
"Two less kids to help pay for Obama's terrible health care plan and future debts incurred."

November 23, 2013
Clerk Arrested 62 Times for Trespassing -- at His Own Job
"Obama tramples constitution constantly, why can't the cops?"

December 2, 2013
Mega-Rich Security Measures Boggle the Mind
"The rich need them with all these Obama supporters running around demanding equality instead of working."

December 18, 2013
Lottery Winner Gives $40M Prize to Charity
"Obama supporters faking cancer to try and get donor's money."

December 20, 2013
Harry Reid Out of Hospital for Exhaustion
"Did he use his Obamacare?"

December 27, 2013
Cops: Teen Who Didn't Get iPhone Pulls Knife on Dad
"Entitled Obama supporter, probably undocumented."

June 10, 2013
IRS Agent Who Eyed Tea Party Is Republican: Top Dem
"Who pushed the Benghazi video?"

I'm guessing the answer is Obama.

Say what you want about Ed_LV, that's one integrated worldview. And wasn't it Walt Whitman who said, "The genius of the United States is not best or most in its executives or legislatures, nor in its ambassadors or authors or colleges, or churches, or parlors, nor even in its newspapers or inventors, but always most in the common people?"

Well wasn't it?

I'm looking at you, Gretchen.