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Chris Kelly

Chris Kelly

Posted March 23, 2009 | 09:01 AM (EST)

Townhall: Michelle Obama is a Bitch, Get It?


Burt Prelutsky was a TV writer a long time ago. Then he aged out of it and became a crank. This wasn't one of those major loses like Steinbeck. Now he writes a column for Townhall.com, the popular website owned by a Christian radio network.

Here's something from his current offering:

Take Michelle Obama...please. Every time I turn around, there she is on a magazine cover. Now, normally, like the Mafia, I lay off the spouses, but inasmuch as this particular spouse attended the same racist church as her hubby for 20 years, I'll make an exception in her case. After all, in spite of the fact that affirmative action got her an Ivy League degree and a $7,000-a-week salary and, moreover, has sent billions of dollars for no particularly good reason to Africa, she insists this is a mean country. The burning question in my circle is: if the First Family gets a female dog, will she be the First Bitch or will she have to settle for second place?

Get it? Because "bitch" had two meanings!

Ah, Christian-sponsored humor. That's not just funny. That's Jesus funny.

Weird that Burt Prelutsky doesn't work more. Because that "take my wife... please" bit is also pure dynamite. Must be ageism.

Naturally, the left-wing media is now trying to convince us that this James Brown-look-alike has all the allure, glamour and fashion sense of Jackie Kennedy.

She's not pretty, for heaven's sakes! She's black! She's a black bitch!

You can read the rest at Townhall. The Internet home of culture warriors Dennis Prager, Bill Bennett and Michael Medved.

(Who have all, by the way, written about Barack Obama's horrible, shocking association with that racist hatemonger Jeremiah Wright. Who called America an ugly black bitch. Oh wait, he didn't.)

(They've also all written columns bemoaning how angry and mean liberal humor is.)

If you read Burt Prelutsky's columns, you'll see that he isn't a racist; he just has a lot of thoughts -- I mean a lot -- about how black people should behave. If Langston Hughes had talked about black people as much at Burt Prelutsky does, someone would have told him to sit down.

Here's another Burt Prelutsky column from Townhall:

If we were a racist society, Oprah Winfrey, your fairy godmother, certainly wouldn't be a billionaire; she'd be fetching someone's mint julep. And Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice wouldn't grow up to be secretaries of state; they'd be sweeping out the stables. And Will Smith and Denzel Washington wouldn't be movie stars; they'd be in the fields picking cotton.

That's awfully big of us, letting Denzel Washington rise so high above his station. Thanks, Burt. Thanks Townhall. (Cross-posted with Stormfront.)

The executive editor of Townhall is Hugh Hewitt. His current column is about how terribly offended he was when Barack Obama made a joke about the Special Olympics:

We should hope President Obama makes more than apology. We should hope he makes good.

By getting me a julep.

Now, if there's one thing I hate worse that playing gotcha with a joke that goes wrong, it's using guilt-by-association and high dudgeon to score cheap political points. But I gotta ask:

Should we hope Hugh Hewitt apologizes for publishing sad old Burt Prelutsky?

How should he make good?

Oh, the Christian broadcasters who own Townhall, the site that says Michelle Obama is a bitch and Will Smith is lucky he's not picking cotton is Salem Communications. You can thank them here.