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Chris Matthews

Chris Matthews

Posted: May 26, 2010 07:51 PM

Gay Soldier on DADT: "I Will Risk My Life; I Ask to Be Treated Simply Like Anyone Else in the Service."

What's Your Reaction:

Let me finish tonight with a letter from a soldier fighting in Afghanistan.

"I found out this soldier under my command was gay. I learned about it after he died, when his longtime partner wrote to me, not knowing my orientation, to tell me how much this staff sergeant had loved the army; how we were the only family he'd ever known.

In my own life, my partner has none of the privileges of a spouse. We have weathered three long deployments like any other couple might. My partner and I have happily accepted my various assignments because we're truly committed to the army, its soldiers and their families. But after our ten years together, my partner has earned the right to be told first about my death. He has earned the right to be recognized for his sacrifices just as any other spouse.

I deeply believe that America is fighting the right fight in Afghanistan. I believe in this battle against our enemies. And, I believe that the US Army is the single greatest force for good the world has ever known.

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But I want to tell the guys I eat lunch with every day about my partner. After all, these are the guys I risk my life with -- the guys who think they know me. I can tell you every detail of how each of them met their wives; how one of them still feels guilty about an affair he never had, but thought about; how one of them cried so hard the day his son was born.

Yet they don't know much about my life. Over the years, I have become good at evading and changing subjects artfully. To slip up -- using the wrong pronoun when describing whom I was with during R&R, or mentioning who I talked to on Skype last night -- is no longer something I worry about. I have become so good at this lying game it eats at my soul.

A week ago, two of my friends were killed in a bombing. The days since then have bled into each other. It is usually not until the evening that I allow myself to think about these things. I will risk my life; I ask to be treated simply like anyone else in the service -- nothing more and nothing less."

That's from a serviceman fighting for his country.

I'd like to tell you his name so you could send him a note of support. You might want to call instead a member of the Senate Armed Services Committee which votes tomorrow on "Don't ask; don't tell." Here's
the phone number for the US Senate: 202-224-3121.


This post originally appeared on Hardblogger.

 
Let me finish tonight with a letter from a soldier fighting in Afghanistan. "I found out this soldier under my command was gay. I learned about it after he died, when his longtime partner wrote to me...
Let me finish tonight with a letter from a soldier fighting in Afghanistan. "I found out this soldier under my command was gay. I learned about it after he died, when his longtime partner wrote to me...
 
 
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03:33 PM on 06/20/2010
I believe anyone should have the right to try to join the military. The privilege of being part of it comes with great responsibility and discipline. Sexual harassment rules should apply to all people equally gay or strait. Every American has the right to try to serve. Not everyone can meet the grueling requirements to make it or even stay. Sexual orientation should not be a part of what is required to try and serve. It is important to stress sexual harassment education in order to prevent incidences.
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12:40 PM on 06/04/2010
Thanks Mr. Matthews, for giving this man's voice a broader audience. They need to be heard.
02:24 PM on 06/01/2010
are we the only one's with gay serveing our country? is this global or just isolated here in the USA. what do people around the world think? do we care? do you? do i? some people will say men serve in the milltary not gay's. little panzey's. i say your going to need every one because what if you have no option. then what? your choice not mine......
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EmmaJ76
Designer, writer, political nerd
07:03 AM on 06/01/2010
Seems to me when people argue for keeping DADT their number one argument is how all the gays will use the repeal as a rally call to jump their male compatriots as soon as the final stroke on the pen is done.

Seems to me too many people are obssessed about sex.

So lets take a step back and take it to what it really is. The repeal of DADT is not about gay people wanting to be able to have sex and tell everyone about it without fear of being kicked out, but about a gay person when asked about their loved one at home, not having to hide or lie for fear that if someone finds out the person sitting at home while they are in battle is of the same gender, they will then get kicked out of the forces.
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Giveadamn
Don't let them school you or even try to fool you.
05:05 PM on 05/31/2010
If gay people that I know are having sex, "I don't ask and they don't tell"! If my parents are having sex "I don't ask and they don't tell"! What's the difference! Some may cringe at the thought of gay sex, but put that up against your parents, or grandparents doing it, and it's not quite as disturbing! It was this comparison that brought me to understand that being gay has less to do with sex, than it does with being with those whom you love!
01:59 AM on 05/31/2010
Thank you to all that debated with me this evening. With my husband in a nursing home now I have lost being able to have this kind of enjoyment. He is terminally ill and is no longer aware of his surroundings. You all have a good evening. Will see you again maybe on a different subject.
01:45 AM on 05/31/2010
cwebster: I am not the one touting openly gay in military in other countries, you did that. I don't care what other countries do. I know that gays have always served in the military through out history. What university did you go to? Here in the states? You sound like someone one that doesn't live in this country. You keep bringing up European countries. No one has actually answered my original question which was.. if an openly gay soldier is sent into a combat situation and is killed will law suits commence by their partners back in the states using discrimination as a defense against the commanding officer? That the commanding officer sent him/her on the mission knowing they would not come back alive. Remember we are in the 21st century not 400 B.C. Yes, there are still states that do not recognize "civil unions" between heterosexual couples.
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liberaldemdave
11:38 PM on 05/30/2010
better late than never to the party, chris. wish you had been reporting on this throughout the whole ordeal of repeal.
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Nelson Montana
Artist, Author, Composer
09:55 PM on 05/30/2010
This whole debate seems pretty simple to me.

Allow anyone to be anything they want, as long as their behavior as a soldier isn't inappropriate. That means no sexual activity with anyone within the barracks. Done.

I swear, between half the country having a stick up their ass and the other half having their head up their asses it's amazing anything gets done.

Oh yeah. Almost nothing does get done.
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FaceTheTruth00
I'm a girl.
12:02 AM on 06/18/2010
Good luck with outlawing fraternization. I mean, it already IS against the rules and it still happens. Now imagine if you don't have to go outside of your barracks to make it happen; it's even more convenient and likely.

Men and women don't bunk together, but there are still relations going on. Gays who DO bunk together are a lot more able to engage in said activities, than a guy and girl trying to sneak off somewhere.
07:56 PM on 05/30/2010
Shame on America for treating soliders less of a person, for treating the people that puts their life aside to fight for the freedom that they have yet to feel or see. Where is our dignity and our belief of good. How can we attend or look at our children not knowing if they too might be gay/lesbian and killing their spirits before they start to live life.
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Warren J Warren
10:35 PM on 05/30/2010
Shame on the USA for bringing sinfull life stile into the military. It is enough that we have to fight sinfull nations now we bring the sin to them. Ain't that right? WWW
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TheBurdicks
Whatever happened to my yellow bus?
03:41 AM on 05/31/2010
Here is the voice of prejudice, ignorance, and blind hatred (not to mention inability to spell or compose with proper grammar).
"Sinfull (sic) life stile (sic)" Who gave you the right to play God and sit in judgement of another human?
"..fight sinfull (sic) nations..." Who gave you the right to play God and sit in judgement of another nation of human beings?
No, that "Ain't (sic)" right!
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wilinot
07:56 PM on 05/30/2010
Gay partners need to be eligible for all the benefits any other spouse is eligible for too. This is all a no brainer.
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Bitsko
He of the smoldering eyes
07:31 PM on 05/30/2010
My lesbian niece, who is stationed "somewhere in Central Asia: (as she puts it), is proud to be serving her country. As Torah scholars says, the rest is commentary.
07:26 PM on 05/30/2010
Well isn't this part of the general civil rights issue pertaining to gays in this country? The GOP and rightwingers seem to make such a big deal about gays in the military (despite no evidence of it having any real impact) and, for that matter, gay marriage. Seriously, who cares? If you're not gay what difference does it make? This almost visceral disgust on the part of the rightwing towards gays is not at all rational and is part of their Taliban-like thought processes (the very religion they hate, they appear to resemble quite closely in many ways).
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manray05
07:56 PM on 05/30/2010
Resemble quite closely? Without legal constraint, it would resemble it exactly. Listen to the right-wing Christians, if allowed they would impose religious law on everyone and enforce it by death.

Ther are four judges in San Diego running to replace judges they deem "Not Christian enough". If they wish to play politics then I hope they don't mind being taxed out of existence.
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Vikingdave
When vikings were just little.
07:12 PM on 05/30/2010
Why is there even a question that those who serve in the military should not have the same universal rights, gay or straight.
The most sacred of the duties of a government [is] to do equal and impartial justice to all its citizens.
-- Thomas Jefferson, note in Destutt de Tracy, "Political Economy," 1816. ME 14:465
Remember THIS guy? Drafted the Constitution or something.
standish
You're gonna need a bigger boat.
06:55 PM on 05/30/2010
I'm a gay man and I'm always absolutely fascinated by this incredible delusion that the minute a gay man walks into a shower he is going to be physically attracted to every naked straight man there. How have these hetero guys convinced themselves that they are God's gift to homosexuals (or to women as well)? If you asked me it sounds like a lot of suppressed fantasy on their part. The same goes for the "I'm drunk and asleep and I might be attacked" fantasia; yeah, like a gay soldier is automatically going to be all over a beer bloated, dead drunk straight soldier, snoring and breaking wind to beat the band. Not exactly my idea Mr. Wonderful.
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cwebster
predominantly exasperated
11:12 PM on 05/30/2010
I don't know where they get their delusions from, either...but most homophobic males seem to think that they inspire lust in every heart.