Anti-War Slogan Contest Winners

The long weekend is almost over, which means it's time to announce the winners of our anti-war slogan contest.

Once again, there was a flood of excellent entries, making it extremely difficult to pick winners out of the field.

As always, winners receive absolutely nothing, other than bragging rights. A big thanks to everyone who entered, and without further ado, here are the top three winners in each of the following categories: Best Chant, Best Anti-Bush Slogan, Best Slogan To Influence Middle America, Best Slogan To Influence Congress, Funniest Slogan, Most Subtle Slogan, and Best Obscure Reference.

At the end, five awards for Most Profane / Tasteless (because of overwhelming interest in the category), and my five picks for Best Overall Slogan.

 

BEST CHANT

Third place: mutex

One, two, three
what are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn.
Next stop is Iran.
And its five, six, seven
they're building a caliphate
let's listen to Bush orate
Ain't no time
to wonder why
More Iraqis just need to die!

 

Second place: phiddle

What do we want?
PEACE NOW!
How do we do it?
GET OUT NOW!

 

First place: Dap

One year, Two years, Three years, Four...
Five years, Six years...
No more war!

 

 

BEST ANTI-BUSH SLOGAN

Third place: MoNut

IMPEACH
IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

 

Second place: MoNut

Tell George the Party's over.

 

First place: Dap

And what did ya expect...
When a Cheerleader was elected President?

 

 

BEST SLOGAN TO INFLUENCE MIDDLE AMERICA

Third place: provgrays

Escalate Peace!

 

Second place: phoenixer

How many additional dead Americans is Cheney's war worth?

 

First place: Michale

IF YOU ARE SO CONCERNED FOR THE TROOPS,
VOLUNTEER TO TAKE THEIR PLACE.

 

 

BEST SLOGAN TO INFLUENCE CONGRESS

Third place: Ben Dixon

Democracy in Iraq at the cost of a broken Army is no victory.

 

Second place: loslobo

When have so few been so wrong?

 

First place: Rethymniotis

IRAQI FREEDOM:
$20,000/IRAQI
AND COUNTING

 

 

FUNNIEST SLOGAN

Third place: magen

I'd like to see a BIG photoshopped picture of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Tenet, Rove, Snow, Lott, McConnell, etc. dressed in cheerleader outfits. On top of the sign in big letters --
CHICKENHAWKS FOR WAR

 

Second place: MoNut

We fight 'em over there...
To adopt their policies over here?

 

First place: negogato

Time to scrape the gop off the constitution.

 

 

MOST SUBTLE SLOGAN

Third place: Qbear

Surge after surge after surge
Is it 2009....YET?

 

Second place: Rethymniotis

As a first thought, I'd like to see lots of signs shaped like baseball's home plate. Maybe with one of those stupid "Support the Troops" ribbons right in the middle. If that's too subtle, add the words "Bring Them Home."

 

First place: progresemulo

Small government, low taxes, unrestricted firearms -- the surge is working!

 

 

BEST OBSCURE REFERENCE

Third place: phiddle

No Soldier Left Behind!

 

Second place: Dap

Look to your future...
I have one word for you...
Prosthetics.

 

First place: dissolvethecorporation

Read my lips: No new wars!

 

 

MOST PROFANE / TASTELESS

Fifth place: Qbear

Michael Vick is voting Republican

 

Fourth place: MoNut

A real God would've sent him a plan by now.

 

Third place: loslobo

Saddam doesn't seem so #@$%*& bad now

 

Second place: loslobo

Killed enough kids for Exxon/Halliburton?

 

First place: Ben Dixon

Better 10,000 Iraqi deaths than one American death

 

 

BEST OVERALL SLOGAN

Fifth place: MoNut

OUT NOW.
NO MORE.

 

Fourth place: nypoet22

Draft Congress

 

Third place: jim_mullen

Rebuild America, Not Iraq

 

Second place: loslobo

Anybody figure out who we are fighting or why?

 

And (drumroll...) the Best Overall Slogan of the entire contest goes to...

Grand Prize: grendl

Thank you Mr. Bush for eight years of gore.

 

Chris Weigant blogs at: ChrisWeigant.com

 

Comments

[waiguoren]

What an unimaginative bunch of entries, mostly recycled stuff from 2 or 3 wars ago. No, I have nothing better to offer...

[grendl]

BUSH LEAGUE - A Poem of Hope -( bob )- by e.e. grendl


Thanks for the casualties,
The boys and girls who fought,
A war this nation bought,
Based on a tale, a mushroom sale,
The seller never caught,
We thank you so much.

Thanks for the refugees,
The ones delivered Brown,
The day the wall broke down,
He'd lead a horse to water,
And then he'd let it drown,
We thank you so much.

Thanks for the amputees,
Who hobble off the planes,
With smiles masking pains,
They lost their limbs to righteous hymns,
And aren't offered canes,
We thank you so much.

Thanks for the memories,
The glaring disconnects,
The lapses in the texts,
If pachyderms remember terms,
Why all these " I forget" s,
We thank you so much.

Thanks for the penalties,
Believing as we did,
you cared about our kids,
Then sent our jobs abroad you slobs,
And now we're on the skids,
We thank you so much.

Thanks for the perjuries,
The blatant little lies,
the outing of our spies,
You cost his wife, if not her life,
Her CIA disguise,
We thank you so much.

Thanks for democracies,
Foisted without care
To nations unaware,
Its wonky in this country
Why send it over there,
We thank you so much.

Thanks for perversities,
Although you don't recall
What happened in the stall,
You reached out to your bases,
But you couldn't touch them all
We thank you so much.

Thanks for the rising seas,
Although its not your fault.
That fuel emissions vault.
This wounded earth needs healing,
Not rubbing with the Salt
We thank you so much.

Thanks for the times like these,
I really have to say,
That come the judgment day,
I wouldn't push,
the Burning Bush
Too righteously their way,
We thank you so much.

[JacktheBlogger]

I think the fastest way to end the war and probably the best anti-war bumper sticker is:

BRING BACK THE DRAFT

If every car in America sported that sticker, we could become the most peaceful nation on earth.

[Dap]

Dear Chris,

Once again it was fun. I wonder why GhostsOfAmerican did not enter, ya think the JDL/Mossad caught up with him? :) Agape.

[Purple Girl]

Now let's plaster the country with these thought provoking decrees.
A thought-
how can we bring freedom to another country when we have no democracy to give.
Just one theocracy at war with another- Does oil reserves bring you closer to god/nature/ enlightenment/freedom? Wow I thought I was only filling my tank with gas, not divinity. Now I'll be sure to say a pray as I fill up.

[tranquilhorizons]

What a great collection of slogans! Thanks for sharing.

I think I like best:

- Draft Congress
(this would end the war immediately!)

- Rebuild America, not Iraq
(not that we don't have some obligations to Iraqis considering the horrendous mess we have made of their country!!)

Peace.

[dobberdoss]

Some great slogans there!, It`s a shame they dont work. The people who start these wars cant read remember?

[Chris Weigant - Huffpost Blogger]

moongoober and Thorn -

When you guys actually enter your own slogans, then I'll accept criticism from you. If you can do better... then by all means, do better.

"One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself."
--Mark Twain (A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court)

-CW

[Galvestonians for Dr. Ron Paul]

They were not "criticizing other people", just the slogans...
They do "kinda suck".

Bloggers, dont feel intimidated to say what you feel. Its nice to get all comments and points of view.
Will you "accept" my post, Chris?

[dexxjones]

i wear a t-shirt that says "who's wearing the blue dress now?"

[RobertPaul]

...And it's one, two, three what are we fighting for,
Don't ask me I don't give a damn,
next stop downtown Iran!
...and it's five six seven open up the Pearly Gates. Ain't no use to wonder why, WHOOPIE, we're all gonna die.

(With apologies to Country Joe and the Fish from the last Quagmire.)

[JettFuel]

Those are all awesome. Really awesome.
My fav is the What did you expect when you elected a cheerleader President.

The Michael Vick and Look to the future are also great.

Wow......what a great group of writers.

jack jett
a wide stancer

[commonsenselives]

"a wide stancer"?

Priceless! LOL!

[Thorn]

Those are the winners? Ouch.

[moongoober]

hello-
with the exception of 'Time to scrape the gop off the constitution' and 'A real God would've sent him a plan by now' (my favorite)
all of these slogans kinda suck, and aren't funny. but thanks for the contest, though.
(i guess)

[grendl]

Wow, this is both a shock and honor. I didn't have anything prepared.
I'd just like to thank my manager, and my agent and all the gang at the Pentagon and Oval Office, Paul Wolfowitz you KNOW I wouldn't have won this without your help. Let's see to Condi Rice, Don Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, really you should be sharing this award with me.
To you Mr. Weigant, for kindly remembering my strong arm tactics and histrionics in the last contest, thank you sincerely.
Who am I forgeting. Oh to my folks who don't read the Huffington Post, and just this month upgraded their computer from a Univac.
But most importantly I'd like to thank George Walker Bush, without whose help this poignant poignant quip wouldn't be possible.
Now where do I pick up my check and trophy?

[Chris Weigant - Huffpost Blogger]

Check with the Department Of If The World Ran The Way I'd Like It To (where I pick up my Jeopardy! winnings every weekday), I think they've got your trophy...

Seriously - congratulations, grendl, you've earned it.

-CW

[JoDeeVa]

I think you forgot the most important one to thank..god.
After all, as we all know by now, it was bush's destiny..
"I believe that God wants me to be president."
And, please look heavenward as you do!

Nice one! May I purloin it for my site?

[Dap]

Congratulations grendl, I too, thought yours was # 1, well said indeed. Kudos!

[larry278]

When do these go on bumper stickers?