In Honor Of George Carlin, Examining Nipplephobia And Buttcrackphobia In America

George Carlin (and Lenny Bruce before him) fought the ingrained Puritanism in America in the best way they knew how. I consider both to be pioneers and patriots for the First Amendment. Now that Carlin is gone, someone else will be needed to pick up this torch and carry it onward.

Carlin's famous "seven words you can never say on television" pointed out how corporate America can be cowed by self-proclaimed defenders of family values into censoring themselves. You would think, with cable television and the internet, that we've come a long way since then. But we really haven't.

All throughout Clinton's impeachment, the word "blowjob" was taboo on broadcast television. Even on late night comedy shows. I remember watching Bill Maher (before his move to cable), and they had to dance around using the term, or else they were bleeped. This is on a show that aired after 11:00 P.M. -- assumably when all those impressionable children should have been in bed.

So, to honor George Carlin's memory, here are a few examples of America moving backwards, and being cowed once again by the wide Puritan streak that runs through America.

Nipplephobia

America has a serious case of nipplephobia ("fear of seeing a woman's nipple"). Look at what happened to Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl. You know what? I would be willing to bet my bottom dollar that any kid who saw a split-second glimpse of Janet's boob is just not going to become a raving pervert as a result. Ask pretty much anyone in Europe. Bare breasts are seen all the time in Europe, and their children don't seem scarred for life as a result. But in America, Janet's nipple was going to somehow destroy American civilization as we knew it.

Sheesh.

Then there was Attorney General John Ashcroft, who spent eight thousand taxpayer dollars to buy a drape to cover up a statue in the Justice Department that showed a female "Spirit of Justice," who happened to have a naked breast. He could have just held his press conferences in another location, but instead chose to protect America from seeing a marble representation of a woman's breast. With $8,000 of our money.

Once again, sheesh..

Now Starbucks is getting some heat for re-creating their original logo for their 35th anniversary, in Washington and Oregon. Starbucks' original logo was taken from a 15th century drawing of a mermaid, and (gasp) it had bare nipples. Now some parents are up in arms over the old logo being used again for a limited time. Don't these people have anything better to do?

Then there's the case of the Republican who went to Washington, D.C. and was shocked to discover statues of nakedness right there in our nation's capital. This hayseed was actually shocked that there were representations of nudity in museums in Washington. Gasp! Artworks occasionally show the human form!! Who knew?

Buttcrackphobia

But the most ridiculous recent development is two companies who have apparently decided to redesign the human anatomy to remove the cleavage between butt cheeks.

The most recent of these is the futuristic mattress company Tempur-Pedic. They used to have, for their logo, a nude woman lying down (assumably on their wonderful product). It showed her from the back, and showed how their mattress conformed to the human form, therefore giving you better sleep. Only problem, it showed her rear end, complete with butt crack. The company used this logo for years, with ads in newspapers and on television, but somebody must have recently complained, because they have scrubbed their old logo from their site. Their new logo shows the woman's spine, but suddenly she has one massive cheek and no cleavage whatsoever. The old logo has disappeared from their company website.

The second example of this was changed a little further back, but is just as ridiculous. Coppertone has been using the same logo since the 1940s -- an artist's representation of her own three-year old daughter and a doggie who is amusingly pulling down her bathing suit bottoms with his teeth. This shows her tan lines, therefore showing the usefulness of the company's product.

This image has been plastered everywhere within 100 miles of any beach for over half a century, but now apparently it is too salacious for use any more. A blog posting from 2006 points out the changes in the logo. First, her bathing suit bottoms got a lot bigger, covering all but a tiny bit of butt cleavage -- less than your average plumber, say. But as the blogger points out, there's an even more sanitized version out there where, again, only one butt cheek exists. Their corporate website only has very very tiny images of their logo now, ones you'd need a magnifying glass to see (although their Canadian website still has the semi-sanitized logo prominently displayed).

One can only wonder what they'll do when they realize the little girl is also topless! Saints preserve us! Can American civilization stand such an anti-family values onslaught?

Such silliness abounds because Americans are taught (by Puritan "family values" folks) that any representation of any nudity, at any time is, of course, automatically harmful to children. QED. Nudity = permanently harmed children. Here is that yokel Republican, explaining why he's now on a personal mission to cleanse Washington, D.C. of nudity:

"I believe art affects a country indirectly. I have been studying the decline of morals in this country. It's sending the wrong message to children that nudity is fine, that nakedness is fine. . . . There are degrees of vulgarity, and it opens up the door for the other stuff."

Remember the outrage when the Taliban blew up a few religious artworks they didn't like? That is where this road leads. With thought police determining what is acceptible and what is not.

George Carlin fought this trend, and he will be sorely missed. He was one of the few who would take a statement like this, and reply "Other stuff? What other stuff? What the hell are you talking about? Hey, everybody, check this out -- this is funny! Look at what idiots some people are!!"

Rest In Peace, Mr. Carlin. You leave behind you a void that will be hard to fill. Because, unfortunately, silliness is still rampant in America.

Chris Weigant blogs at: ChrisWeigant.com

Comments

[TruthAndConsequences]

"Heaven forbid" that the puritanical types get a hold of Leonard Nimoy's art-photography efforts! http://www.leonardnimoyphotography.com/2photo.htm

[guntotinganglion]

What's particularly sick about the Janet Jackson "debacle" is that she didn't actually show her nipple! She had a pasty over it. Someday America will grow up, but it won't be in the lifetimes of anyone alive today.

[AdobePhsyko]

Our country is Under Seige by the "Christian Taliban".
These Insane,Hyper Religious Types DO NOT Represent Most of Us, But they All Vote Alike ,Like The Lemmings That They Are.
Meanwhile thier Leaders are involved in One Scandal After The Other.
Can You Say HYPOCRITS ?

[guntotinganglion]

Yup...and the Mullah's are Ayatollah Dobson, Ayatollah Robertson, and of course, the Grand High Inquisitor himself, Bushemada.­..practici­ng "safe and effective" torture techniques for over a 20th of a century!

[xujojo]

Geogre Carlin was my hero...what a guy!

[headstrong]

As I have said for many years - Americans are the most anal retentive people in the world, bar none.
Must be all that fear squeezing those cheeks tighter ... tighter ... tighter.

[dogheaven]

A recent nipplephobia occurance: in an article about Carly Simon in Oprah's magazine had an altered image of the cover of her "No Secrets" album cover. If anyone is over the age of 46 they remember that cover. What do you think they altered about the photo? The nipples of course. I think it completely alters the point (no pun inteneded) of the photo and 'no secrets'. Shameful.

[Kimbro]

Chris writes, "George Carlin (and Lenny Bruce before him) fought the ingrained Puritanism in America in the best way they knew how. I consider both to be pioneers and patriots for the First Amendment."

I agree with Chris about Carlin and I'm all for buttcracks and nipples, and Lenny Bruce, and all that, but Chris made an omission that I would like to amend. His lead sentence would have been more balanced, and historically interesting had he included Mae West. She challenged the absurd American puritanism­/hypocrisy with humor decades before either Bruce or Carlin and like both men, she took heat for it. She got ten days jail time for public obscenity in ‘27, the year Carlin was born, (but got off after serving eight for good behavior, go figure.)

[realveive]

You're 10 years off on Carlin's birth year. It would be great if George could have made it to age 81 or more. He was still on top of his game.

[Chris Weigant - Huffpost Blogger]

Kimbro -

Good point. My favorite Mae West line (although she may not even have said it, I should say "favorite line attributed to her"):

"Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Heh heh.

-CW

[GeneralJones]

Certainly not to take anything away from Mae West at all, she was very important along several trophes; but I was just reading a bio of the gangster Frank Costello in which there was an account of how it was the mafia leader's idea (he and West were friends--Costello knew
"everybody") to use his contacts in the NY courts and police department to "raid" the Mae West theatre performance that resulted in the career-making scandal and a 10-day jail term for "corrupting public morals." The 10-day sentence (8 w/ good behavior) was assured of in advance and the whole thing was undertaken with West's knowledge and happy cooperation--the level of publicity in print and radio was indeed priceless. The Broadway show in question, as you know, was called "Sex" and it had ALREADY run for 375 performances starting back in 1926 when West decided to take up Costello on his offer.

[Kimbro]

Thanks. Didn't know she was playing the censorship and yeah, I was off by 10 years on Carlin's birth. I wrote because I just get sick of women being cock-washed out of history. Nothing against the GREAT men like Carlin. He deserves being compared to Mark Twain! I was lucky to grow up listening to him.
I have my own personal lineage of great satirists. Including, Jonathan Swift and Voltaire, (William Blake is pretty funny in The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, too) then jumping to Twain, then Dorothy Parker and Mae West... ending up with Carlin, Lewis Black and Steven Cobert. These guys know how to add a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down... You gotta laugh.

[flanardiente]

It must give these people a true sense of impending doom to realize that everyone on Earth without exception is NAKED beneath their clothes.

[dissolvethecorporation]

There is nothing I consider more pornographic than a photograph of a woman's breasts with the nipples air-brushed out. The insults, presumptions and ignorance in that scenario are too numerous to list.