Oh, The Humanity! Godless Huffington Post Commenters Wickedly Destroying Conservatism

Hoo boy.

In the era of Michael Steele, Sarah Palin, and Bobby Jindal, it's pretty hard to stand out in the world of conservative lunatic ravings. But Andrew Breitbart's recent opinion piece in the Washington Times truly raises (lowers?) the bar for the rest of the field in right-wing Crazytown. His thesis is that liberal blog commenters are ruining things for the conservatives' attempts to have a nice online chat.

That sounds like I'm exaggerating, but sadly, I'm actually toning his comments down. Read his whole piece if you don't believe me. It's worth reading, because YOU -- quite possibly a Huffington Post commenter -- are apparently what is ruining everything on "the Internets" for conservatives.

Because this article was written in Crazytalk (a dialect spoken only in increasingly-smaller regions of our country), allow me to translate selected excerpts for you.

A digital war has broken out, and the conservative movement is losing. Read the comment sections of right-leaning blogs, news sites and social forums, and the evidence is there in ugly abundance. Internet hooligans are spewing their talking points to thwart the dissent of the newly-out-of-power.

We must not let that go unanswered.

Some might initially be confused at the "war" terminology, but this is normal, as conservatives like to see everything as a "war" of us-against-them. So, while in a normal conversation this would be considered somewhat odd, rest assured that this is actually considered "normal" for his intended audience.

His main point is that Americans who do not agree with everything he says and believes should be silenced (and, while he never actually comes out and says it, perhaps rounded up for their own good -- because, quite obviously, they are insane and may be dangerous to the general public of conservative ideologues).

Uninvited Democratic activists are on a mission to demoralize the enemy -- us. They want to ensure that President Obama is not subject to the same coordinated, facts-be-damned, multimedia takedown they employed over eight long years to destroy the presidency -- and the humanity -- of George W. Bush.

Rational speakers of English will be confused by the turnabout of calling all who did not worship at the feet of our last president "facts-be-damned," especially since Bush's White House famously proclaimed it was not going to put up with that old-style "reality-based" conventional thought at all, but rather create their own reality. For people who have been living in Bush's alternate reality for eight years, it is a rude shock when introduced back to the cold light of reason. Perhaps they should be weaned slowly, rather than facing the fact that the only person who destroyed George W. Bush (and his humanity, for that matter) was George W. Bush.

Political leftists play for keeps. They are willing to lie, perform deceptive acts in a coordinated fashion and do so in a wicked way -- all in the pursuit of victory. Moral relativism is alive and well in the land of Hope and Change and its Web-savvy youth brigade expresses its "idealism" in a most cynical fashion.

The ends justify the means for them -- now more than ever.

Once again, reality-based readers may be confused by this. After having to defend Bush's lies and Bush's deceptive acts for so many years, they see anyone who contradicts the least part of what they say as their "enemy."

The large, stinking, whale-sized carcass of irony in that bit about "moral relativism" will also be totally lost on these people. After arguing for years that "the ends justify the means" in all things military, they would stare at you blank-faced if you asked them a simple question like: "Who would Jesus torture?" Because that doesn't fit in their definition of "wicked" at all. You have to feel somewhat sorry for them, because after wallowing in their own moral relativism for so long, they've apparently forgotten what the term means.

Much of Mr. Obama's vaunted online strategy involved utilizing "Internet trolls" to invade enemy lines under false names and trying to derail discussion. In the real world, that's called "vandalism." But in a political movement that embraces "graffiti" as avant-garde art , that's business as usual. It relishes the ability to destroy other people's property in pursuit of electoral victory.

Hugh Hewitt's popular site shut off its comments section because of the success of these obnoxious invaders. Breitbart.com polices nonpartisan newswire stories for such obviously coordinated attacks. Other right-leaning sites such as Instapundit and National Review Online refuse to allow comments, knowing better than to flirt with the online activist left.

See, there's that bit about "enemies" again. Although, I have to admit, his line about destroying "other people's property in pursuit of electoral victory" is so bizarre, even I am at a loss to translate it. Perhaps I should make a hat out of tinfoil and try again? [Pause, to the sounds of crumpling tinfoil.] Nope, still don't get it, sorry. Maybe someone ripped down a McCain campaign sign in his front yard last year? One can only wonder.

Back to the rest of it. You see, in Crazytown, "discussion" means: "getting people who proudly (and without a hint of irony in their voices) call themselves 'dittoheads' to compete with each other to see how fervently they can agree with you." It does not, as in the reality-based world, mean: "the marketplace of ideas, where everyone is allowed to speak their piece and debate the merits of their arguments." Because that would be horrible, obviously, which is why conservative websites are happier not allowing any debate than having to poison their tender ears and eyes with another point of view.

In fact (according to Breitbart) these scurrilous people are guilty of the crime of "vandalizing" the open marketplace of ideas known as the Internet, with (are you sitting down?) opinions Rush Limbaugh does not agree with. Since they are guilty of this crime (vandalism is against the law), the obvious answer is to lock them all up, or at the very least, forcibly keep them from their computers.

He then reviews a bit of MoveOn history from the Clinton era, and offers a big Valentine to the leader of the Republican Party, the aforementioned Rush Limbaugh. Read the whole article to see this bit, if interested.

"This is nothing more than the Internet version of Soviet disinformation," Human Events editor Jed Babbin told me. "MoveOn.org and the little boys from 'Lord of the Flies' who run Media Matters want to make it appear that there's huge dissension within conservative ranks on issues on which we're most united."

Dang, Babbin and Breitbart seem not to have gotten the memo that the Cold War is over. You see, in their world, "Soviet disinformation" equals: "Americans exercising their right of free speech." It is only in that wacky and bizarre reality-based world that "Soviet disinformation" equates to: "We get to say what we want to say, and nobody is allow to dissent."

This is, once again, due to a genetic deformity among conservatives. They are, seemingly, born without being able to spot irony in all its delicious forms. So, for the irony-impaired, allow me to explain more fully: most people think it's funny when you use an example to disparage your opponent when you are guilty of the very same thing as your example. I know, it's hard to understand, but this is called "irony," and others find it amusing.

The left also uses disinformation to inundate the advertisers of conservative-leaning talk shows to intimidate them from financially supporting popular mainstream shows.

See, here's another prime example. When conservatives boycott Disney for the audacity of letting homosexuals into their theme parks, that is a good thing. When liberals boycott cable television and talk radio advertisers, that is a wicked, wicked thing. But, being irony-impaired, you just have to feel sad for those who choose such hilarious and laughable examples to make their points.

Skipping over a bit here, Breitbart is just getting warmed up.

So now that the right is vanquished and thoroughly out of power, why doesn't it learn from its conquerors and employ similar tactics?

The answer is obvious. The right, for the most part, embraces basic Judeo-Christian ideals and would not promote nor defend the propaganda techniques that were perfected in godless communist and socialist regimes. The current political and media environment crafted by supposedly idealistic Mr. Obama resembles Hugo Chavez's Venezuela more than John F. Kennedy's America.

For one shining moment, Breitbart enters fully into the reality-based world. That's actually a nice turn of phrase to describe the state of the right wing in American politics today: "vanquished and thoroughly out of power." I also liked his use of "conquerors," even though, again, conservatives absolutely must see everything as us-against-them warfare, even when they admit they're losing. But then, due to the harsh sunshine of these facts, he retreats into writing comedy once again.

I laughed so hard at that "Judeo-Christian ideals" sentence I could barely manage to drag myself back to the keyboard, in sheer awe of the irony of it all. Republicans have been masters of "dirty tricks" campaigns back to Richard Nixon (and probably before, but I'm too young to remember), and have used them quite successfully so many times that it is now known as the "Republican playbook" for winning elections. There are, quite literally, too many examples to cite here. One man's propaganda is another man's (cough... Karl Rove... cough, cough) plans for a "permanent Republican majority."

Once again, please, someone go back to the late 1980s, dig out that "Cold War is over" memo, and send this man a copy. "The current media and political environment" is made up entirely of "propaganda techniques... perfected in godless communist and socialist regimes." Boy, doesn't that take you back? Nostalgia for when those godless commies were such a convenient enemy is a common trait of the right wing, who apparently haven't had an original idea since the Berlin Wall came down.

Because, see, it's propaganda and dirty commie tricks when voices other than conservative voices are allowed to be heard by the public. In Breitbart's ideal America, only conservative voices would be allowed to be heard, and all others would be silenced. The laughable fact that this actually defines "propaganda" and "communist regimes" is totally and utterly lost on the ironically-challenged.

The fact that America is built on a foundation of free speech and lively political debate simply does not exist in the conservative universe, because it is yet another of those inconvenient facts from the reality-based world the rest of us live in that they have chosen to ignore.

But, although it's tough to believe at this point, he has not yet written his funniest line. You might want to prepare yourself for this next sentence by preventatively lying on the floor, ready to roll around laughing your head off:

The Huffington Post, Daily Kos and other left-leaning sites benefit from the right's belief that there are rules and decorum in political debate and civic engagement. Of course, every now and then, a curious right-winger will go in and engage in discussion at a left-wing site, but rarely under purely disingenuous and mass coordinated means.

You see, in their world, conservatives are all polite and would never ever ever say anything mean to anyone, especially not on some liberal website. All together with me, now: "OH, PUH-LEEZE!!"

David Brock, John Podesta, am I missing something?

As a prolific consumer of online content, I value nothing more than the sincere expression of opinion that differs from mine. Sometimes I am even moved or swayed from my dogma. But that was not the type of communication that got Mr. Obama elected.

The American right is in a heap of trouble in a media age that doesn't shun the goons and liars that have poisoned the political process and won the American presidency by breaking the rules of fair play. It is time to fight back, but it won't be easy. The enemy is willing to do and say anything in order to win.

In his rousing finish, he asks: "Am I missing something?" Since I was not named directly by Breitbart (and because it is just too, too easy a shot), I will refrain from answering that. I will leave it up to all you "goons and liars" to come up with your own reality-based responses.

Ahem.

He slips up a bit by admitting that he can be "swayed from my dogma," since anyone with a dictionary can actually look up the term "dogma," but then he is not used to such reality-based reactions, in his defense.

That bit about "fair play" is pretty choice, too. You see, the ironically-oblivious right wing actually believes there was a stolen election in America -- but that it happened in the year 2008, not in 2000. All those people who "voted" for Barack Obama when he "won" one of those godless communistic "free elections" in "a landslide" are quite obviously "the enemy." Why they haven't been locked up yet remains a deep, deep mystery for the right.

Since this article was so completely over the top, I offer a clue to the right wing of America: if you're going to complain about totalitarianism and propaganda, you might want to look in the mirror first. Out here in Realityville, totalitarianism and propaganda equals silencing your political opponents and denying them the right to speak -- which is exactly what you are defending. This is why it is ironic, and why people are now laughing at you.

Just to clear that up.

 

[Note: For what I believe is the first time, I am breaking a self-imposed cardinal rule of my own writing: "I promise to avoid engaging in gratuitous flamewars (blogwars?) with other bloggers, or other media types. Much of what I read on popular blogs is merely "gotcha-ism" personally directed against other bloggers, or mainstream media types. I find these tempests-in-a-teapot boring, myself, and hope never to get dragged into such a contest." But this time, Breitbart's article was just too insulting to Huffington Post commenters for me resist. I will try to do better in the future, and offer my apologies for being provoked into writing this article. Mea culpa.]

 

Chris Weigant blogs at: ChrisWeigant.com

 

Comments

[BrickSykes]

Actually, Andrew Breitbart commits an unforgivable act on his own: He Fails to take credit for 'The Right's' part in electing President Obama! He can call it a mixed message if he likes, but the clearly spoken wish of the Republicans was their desire for CHANGE! and President Obama is simply complying as requested. Of course, he had plenty of help from US, The True Supporters of Democracy and President Obama!!

Had the Bush Administration not clearly BEGGED for replacement, President Obama's attempt would likely have Failed! One can only suppose that fact as a reason, perhaps the main reason, that so many Republicans Voted for Obama!! When President Bush effectively BEGGED the American People to replace HIM and the rest of the Republicans in Washington, DC, with DEMOCRATS, Who Could Possibly REFUSE HIM!??! After all, he WAS the preznit!! (Wasn't He?)

Brick

[MyAudacity]

He was actually dumb enough to put it in writing.

I dare any of you go to the General Hospital Soap Message Board and make a positive Obama Post and see what you get.

There are people who actually are "scared" of Obama, and if you disagree with some of them they will put you on ignore so they can't read your response.

I consider these people not just fools who don't know any better, but damned fools who don't want to know any better, they prefer their own opinions and you can either agree with them, or get the hell out of their way.

It can be infuriating, but the only way to remain peaceful is to remember that we made the correct choice, and that their real issue is the son of an African is now the President of the United States, (birth certificate issue) they completely disavow Obama's American mother and grandparent's influence in his life, which really should be a testament of the good influence people can play in a child's life, disregarding race. But, then that would defeat the right wing's real american's white supremacy theory.

But, what do I know....I'm a commenter on Huffington Post, and forgot to ask permission to have an alternate opinion from the "norm".


If Huffington Post will post all of my comments, they really would be upset. But, I expect this to go by the wayside also. We don't want to hurt anyones feelings.

[slaxx]

there are people on both sides who don't want to hear different opinions. i'm pretty liberal, but i've had my head bitten off on here a few times just for having an opinion that was different.

to mr. breitbart i say, all generalization are false, including this one.

[ManwithaParachute]

I find myself flailing back and forth at times between giving the benefit of the doubt and absolute condemnation of conservatives and GOPers. Sometimes a conservative's belief is as simple as it can be stated as they really see the world as working best this way: Less government good; more government bad. This is my father's view point. He really sees and acts out his life this way. He helps out those who need it and sees the government as a lesser alternative to his efforts. Then there is my brother who is on disability due to complications due to alcoholism (seriously). He still blames ALL his problems on women, blacks, and liberals. He blames liberals and blacks for the minuscule amount he receives from Social Security Disability even though the GOP and conservatives would zero this program out. In fact, he advocates for this result but blames liberals who want to enhance it for it's limitations which are dictated by the amount of contribution. Since my brother worked "self-employed" I believe his tax avoidance behavior has netted it's deserved results. How black folk play in this outcome is beyond me. I love my brother. However, I seek confession after listening to him rant about all the liberals and "ni&&#$%" who make his life difficult. I was raised Catholic and laughing at retarded people is not something you get a boyscout badge for.

[bayside]

Excellent article....

[Tom Joad]

that's 'little g' godless, 'capital C' Communists. godless Communists. Here we come!!....





BOO!

[HST]

converstaion = conversation

[HST]

I am ruining the internet for right wing fanatics who are trying to have a nice converstaion online?


Good.

[kudzumaster]

"why people are now laughing at you."

We've been laughing at them for a long, long time.

[TRYKER]

Chris, that was outstanding. Wow.
I got the feeling, after that "swayed from my Dogma" remark that the speaker/writer was scraping together some phrases to use and didn't even think for a minute about the meaning. Its such a powerful word, he knew that, just didn't know what it meant about him.

I always see these writings as an exercise in "re-write"...just switch the words, libs and conservs and throw it out there. Rove does a lot of this. Projection is their specialty...whatever they're doing, they accuse you of it to throw attention on you first.
All of this "liberal media in a cabal" started right after Brit Hume announced to the world that he got right wing "talking points" from Brent Bozell at Media Research Center that he used 2 or 3 a day for a l-o-o-n-n-g time. Duh. It slid under the radar, conveniently...they came out immediately attacking from all outlets, flooding the media with all this liberal smearing.
This endless campaign is really tiresome. Fighting is so wasteful.
Fortunately for libs, they are out in front moving at a pace that leaves these losers far behind.

[RobDoub]

I stopped even reading the comments at my local newspaper. They are unmoderated, and both the left-wing and right-wing nuts are equally insulting, mindless, and disgusting.
Both parties have this problem. Unfortunately, when a blog uses moderation there is the danger that ideas are being moderated out, and the blog becomes a group of people who happily agree with each other every day. Groupthink, by the way, is also how Bush went so far off track in his presidency.

We are all responsible now - there is no ultimate arbiter - it is us. We all have to keep open discussion alive, and support the sites that encourage it, while still discouraging the mindless destructive ranters and fools. If the blogs you participate in are too restrictive - tell them!! If they allow the juvenile screaming ranters free rein - complain! Our traffic will make the good sites successful and the poorly run sites failures, if we hold true to our principles.

[IGNSTHMD]

is accountability of our representativies enforcable by the people; when I say enforcable I mean a quantifiable measure of direct action and when I say people I mean the enabled , apt and informed consensus bearing individuals and groups of individuals. If not what does that imply and what is there to so about it?

[gemstone1000]

No need to apologize, Arianna. I needed a good laugh today. Breitbart and his ilk are such whiners!

[Chris Weigant - Huffpost Blogger]

gemstone1000 -

Actually, that mea culpa was from me. Just to clear that up (all my "Notes" are from me...).

But I'm glad I brought a smile to your face!

:-)

-CW

[BrickSykes]

...and mine! Thanks

Brick

[RobinSeattle]

Breitbart is either the greatest living deadpan satirist in America right now or he has been getting into Rush's medicine cabinet.

Right now, Stephen Colbert is saying, "I wish I had written that" because it is such a profile in delusion and a textbook example of projection.

[zola77]

LOL agreed! He is one sour person.

[quindy]

Right wing web sites are not allowing comments for a good reason - they cannot win any argument. I am sure that this is incredibly frustrating. To this day I haven't met a republican who can think with his own head and have an opinion. They only blabber just like their pres did for 8 years.

[IGNSTHMD]

There is the shark in the water to consider. you know two people fall into the water with a shark the men contemplate their fate and make a resolution: man1: I don't think we can out swim this shark; man2: I'm not trying to out-swim the shark, I just have to out-swim you. I think this is the premise for much of the "logical" "debate" many of the us vs them crowd embraces (especially if they don't swim well).

[Noland]

Man, I tell ya, I was laughing before I read the article 'Oh, the Humanity...' I just knew it was going to be one to get me going. I loved it! Thanks. I must say that because of the rights unwillingness to debate liberals and right wing blogs that don't allow comments, I get pretty bored. What fun is it when everyone agrees and says the same thing. Bring on the comments of conservative blogs...PLEASE! That's a plea to them not you personally. Again, thanks for the humor.