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The Fashion Whip: Fake Tans And Fake Tips

Posted: 09/22/2011 9:33 am

Prepping for the cameras at a primetime presidential debate requires a lot more of a politician than a quick appearance on C-SPAN does. The candidates are each under a microscope: every stray hair is noticed and every lash counted and curled.

For some, dark under-eye circles are left free of makeup to serve as a sign of how hard they toil for their constituents. For others, gray hairs are carefully cultivated in order to convey experience. Even so, none of the candidates can afford to have "Mr. Magoo" eyebrows or dirty fingernails, lest the public be distracted from the issues -- and the candidate noticed in the wrong way.

Men in a presidential race historically tend to go gray faster than men in a congressional race do. Much, much faster, if you know what we mean. After all, a touch of silver makes a man look distinguished, and delicately applied hair mascara helps to blend the new salt with the pepper. Not surprisingly, it takes full-time stylists hours with high-end products to "balance the light just right" on male candidates (a preferred euphemism for hair and makeup). For instance, Rick Perry's stylist "balances the light" using mousse, a blow-dryer, freeze-hold hair spray, heavy powder, bronzer and eyebrow gel.

Women face different challenges: Michele Bachmann's blowout is voluminous, but her stylist is careful to avoid a "helmet head" look -- which is more than we can say for team Romney. And Bachmann's hair color appears to change with the season (lighter for summer, darker for winter), which keeps her on-trend, if not exactly authentic.

But while Bachmann's soft, highlighted locks help her to look youthful and natural, her nails tell a different story. Squared-off at the tip, her high-gloss french manicure never varies at all, and acrylic extensions help her to achieve lengths that are visible even from the nosebleed section. We've even heard them clickety-clacking against her debate podiums a few times, which means the rest of America heard it, too -- even if they were unaware of where the noise was coming from.

Situated in-between Bachmann's au naturel hairstyle and her oh-so-fake nail manicure is her makeup, which strikes a balance between the two competing elements. Bachmann's makeup artist, Tamara Robinson, is a former Fox News favorite, and Bachmann's face reflects Robinson's reputation for contrasting soft lips with dramatic eyes. Another Robinson signature is her liberal use of false eyelashes, which our HuffPost Style colleagues explored in a fun slideshow this summer.

On Capitol Hill, two members of Congress appear to be taking cues from Bachmann's hair and makeup look: Freshman Republicans Kristi Noem (S.D.) and Jaime Herrera Beutler (Wash.). But outside the pressure-cooker of a campaign, Herrera Buetler and Noem are free to keep their look more low-key. On Capitol Hill, you're likely to find that members of Congress look like pretty average D.C. professionals -- not the bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked figures they morph into during campaign season. After all, they still need to look normal at committee meetings and constituent teas.

It's easy to see how Bachmann's fluttery false eyelashes would look ridiculous in the hallowed halls of Rayburn or Dirksen. But they aren't the only grooming aid that comes out of the closet around election time.

Fake tans glow like orangey bulbs on the campaign trail -- inviting voters to visualize the candidate's charmed life. In the current GOP presidential field, some tans are a lot deeper than others. Think "occasional golfer" vs. "professional surfer."

All photos by Getty.

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A stylist touches up Rick Perry's powder during a commercial break at a September CNN/Tea Party presidential debate.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
isis
Job 39:5 - Who has sent out the wild ass free?
06:35 PM on 10/23/2011
The nails of a person who does not work.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ReadMyLipstick1
It can't be that hard.
10:21 AM on 09/26/2011
There is no question but what these candidates need to look their best when going through their polliticking dog and pony shows. In most cases the make up and clothes are over the top, and indeed we have the "housewife from _________" look. We don't need Bachmann and Palin, et al, with their Tammy Faye lashes extra long glossy nails; and we don't need Perry et al looking like dehydrated orange juice in an attempt to show off their "tans".

But this country likes glitzy, good looking people over substance. And believe me, this time 'round, you got what you wished for.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MInchau
Humans - temporary occupants of this planet
07:23 AM on 09/25/2011
Of all the things that bug me about these people, their make-up is the least of my concern.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DSevere
Deviant mind
12:38 AM on 09/25/2011
To be fair, the one big advantage of acrylic-coated nails (I used to have them) is, nail polish adheres to the acrylic really well, so a manicure stays chip-free without touch ups for more than a week. Which is very convenient if you have a busy schedule. However, someone should tell the GOP ladies that really long nails make you look older than you are, and have a Real Housewives of [insert city of choice] vibe, which is probably not what they had in mind.
jaslyn
don't go away mad, just go away
12:21 PM on 09/24/2011
and THAT'S just on the outside! The fakeness on the inside is much worse.
09:58 PM on 09/23/2011
So when the GOP candidates spend money on their appearance its fake and inappropriate, yet when Michelle Obama, the first lady and figurehead of the white house spends thousands upon thousands on a single dress, while our unemployed, and blue collar workers drift into inescapable poverty, it's fabulous?
jaslyn
don't go away mad, just go away
12:21 PM on 09/24/2011
not true. She's worn inexpensive dresses as well. Calm down.
10:33 PM on 09/24/2011
How inexpensive? $25? Because that's pretty much what most of the american people can afford for a dress. As the representative of the American people in a time of hardship, Michelle shouldn't flaunt her wealth.

Note: I think Nancy Reagan and Laura bush are also equally guilty.
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Mile End
Keep Church separate from State
03:36 PM on 09/24/2011
Imagine what Cindy McCain would have been spending!

http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/latest-gossip/81159-cindy-mccain-vs-laura-bushs-wardrobe-budget.html

In contrast, Mrs. Obama buys a lot of very modestly-priced clothes from places like J. Crew and The Gap. Name one other First Lady who ever did that. OTOH, of course she's going to wear more expensive clothes for State occasions, though I'd love to see an example of your "thousands upon thousands on a single dress". She and the President are wealthy in their own right, so I don't why she should not have nice shoes and clothes.
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jacmed
72, female - whatever happened to common sense?
03:32 PM on 09/23/2011
One question -- why would this surprise anyone, especially those who know the history of or were around to watch the Kennedy vs Nixon debate? Anyone who is going to be on TV wants to look their best. In fact, anyone just going out to dinner wants to look their best. Does it matter what they do or how they do it? IMHO I really don't think so.
03:13 PM on 09/23/2011
and i thought BO was aging naturally as i noticed some gray hair that i hadn't noticed before.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DarthVee
No Apologies Accepted. Cash Only.
01:47 PM on 09/23/2011
WHAT? Faked? How could Michele Bachmann fake that 1,000-yard stare so effectively?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hypyrwyf
ignorance begets fear begets violence
12:56 PM on 09/23/2011
I saw Dr Biden on tv, might have been Letterman. She has the best hair of any politician I've seen recently. It was also an intelligent, relevant interview.
11:51 AM on 09/23/2011
How unattrative are these people?? What a waste of money
12:43 PM on 09/23/2011
Politicians don't have to be attractive, just have to do the job they were voted in for..
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
chedet
Le Panda
03:33 PM on 09/23/2011
It's worse that most of them are not only unattractive but they are not doing the job they were voted in for too.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
brady41
Freedom 2012;
05:37 PM on 09/23/2011
sure and when is that supposed to happen???
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
blueplano
I'm a yellow dog
11:06 AM on 09/23/2011
People with fake glue-on fingernails cannot be Commander in Chief.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cfluffy57@aol.com
NOBAMA2012
12:48 PM on 09/23/2011
What about people with fake birth certificates, crudentials and pasts ??
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hypyrwyf
ignorance begets fear begets violence
12:54 PM on 09/23/2011
Why, do you know any?
02:02 PM on 09/23/2011
Don't know any of those. I only know crazies who made up stories about it and then irresponsibly spread these rumors as truth.
02:03 PM on 09/23/2011
Yup, my sentiments exactly. Those are not working hands.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
soopershrink
11:01 AM on 09/23/2011
You mean these politicians are phoney? I'm shocked!
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TRACYBURTON
jewelry maven + firecracker
10:46 AM on 09/23/2011
money cannot buy taste or style...
10:27 AM on 09/23/2011
I agree w/ all the offense commenters are taking to the Republicans' attention to frivolous superficialities. I just wish you were all consistent in your criticism and contempt and were just as critical about all the daily stories about Michelle Obama in the Fashion section of this site. Curiously, on that page, the commenters are nothing short of fawning.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
11:40 AM on 09/23/2011
You're aware that Michelle Obama is not a politician, and why that makes a difference, yes?
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hypyrwyf
ignorance begets fear begets violence
12:55 PM on 09/23/2011
You're joking. You can't have read a whole page of comments. Those are the most vile comments on her articles.