Bribery or Intrinsic Motivation: Which Drives YOU?

One of my goals after any longish school break is always to re-establish our family routines -- to recalibrate, so that our trains once again run on time, so to speak.

My natural tendency is toward messiness and disorganization -- toward, dare I admit, household chaos. I'm not so different from the stereotype of my professor, writer and artist colleagues. As a parent, I'm affectionate, creative, easily distracted -- and always digging through piles of stuff looking for that yellow permission slip.

I have to work very hard to be the kind of person who makes her bed and gets her kids to school on time. As much as I want to be someone who doesn't leave dishes in the sink overnight, I don't come by that clean-up impulse naturally. But I make myself into this person because organization and predictability make us all happier.

All that said, it is one thing to do what it takes to make yourself tidier and more organized; it is quite another to impose organization and household cleanliness on children who also don't come by it naturally.

This is where the bribing (if you do X, I'll give you Y) comes in. Often my bribing is incredibly logical: If you get your homework done and laundry put away now, we'll have time for dessert. Natural consequences, right?

There is a windfall of relevant research here related to motivation, most of it ignored by scholars and lay people alike, because it is so counterintuitive. Dan Pink brings much of this research to life in his engaging book "Drive" Before I tell you the implications of that research, I want to say that the way to get kids (and parents) to do things like empty the dishwasher regularly (without complaining) is to make it a habit. To do it at the same time every day, predictably.

But while we are working toward making something a habit, there is often a lot of bribing involved, or at least a reward system. I have a friend who was trying to get her little kids out the door with less nagging, and a counselor advised her to give her kids stickers at every correct turn, like she was training monkeys with a ripe mango. She kept stickers in the kitchen, in her car, in every bedroom. The house was quickly covered in gold stars and "Dora the Explorer," and at first, the sticker plan worked like magic. When we reward people, they work harder, right?

Well, in the long run, rewards systems don't work in most cases, and they often backfire. In fact, a wide body of research has shown the following:

• People (and monkeys, as it turns out) have an "intrinsic drive" that motivates them to learn, solve problems, and generally get things done. In other words, often we do things just because we want to exercise our natural capabilities. This internal drive is the most powerful motivator we have because it's fueled by the positive feelings we get from performing a task.
• Though powerful, this internal drive is also very, very fragile and can easily be broken by external forces like a monetary or other reward.
• External motivators -- sticks and carrots -- can be devastating, by crippling our creativity and our ability to solve problems. Problems people solve when left to their own devices -- when not offered a reward -- become unsolvable when rewards are offered.
• Similarly, when something is inherently interesting to us, like reading or drawing, and someone offers a reward for doing these things, our internal motivator to do them tends to shut down, hindering not just our performance, but our enjoyment as well.
• Reward systems also overwrite our natural, internal desire to do something good. Reward people for doing something kind, and they will get less enjoyment out of their act of kindness. They'll also be less likely to repeat the act.
• Moreover, research shows that reward systems foster environments in which people cheat and steal -- or just generally skate by, doing the minimum possible -- to get the promised reward. External motivations have been shown to actually induce unethical behavior.

So where does all this leave me as I'm trying to get my kids to clean up their room and get myself to do the dishes?

As we get back into the swing of our school-week routines, I often hear myself saying things like, "If you set the table now, you don't have to help with dinner," or worse, "... you can have a piece of your leftover chocolate." Both of these are clear if-then reward systems, which I'm offering in a desperate attempt to motivate my children.

But when I look closely at the science, it is beyond clear to me that this if-then habit of mine isn't the best way to motivate my kids. The best way is to work with their natural, intrinsic drive to be productive -- even creative -- contributors to our household.

Chores, the drudgery of household work, make kids feel a part of something larger than themselves, and so kids will even be intrinsically motivated to do boring stuff like empty the dishwasher if we parents set it up correctly.

How to do this? Next week I'll be writing about how to harness kids' intrinsic motivation to help them get their chores and their homework done -- without complaints or nagging. Really.

What types of tasks do you find yourself offering carrots and sticks to your kids to motivate them? Put your examples in the comments and I'll try to address them in a future posting.

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© 2010 Christine Carter, Ph.D.

 

 

 

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Comments

[DARK STAR]

03:18 PM on 01/22/2011

I would like to venture the following: fear and fear of fear is what drives this country's populace, or at least the majority of this country.

Note, it is continually re-enforced at every opportunity by advertisers, church and peers under the influence...

Please note that zombies will not take over! WHILE THIS MAY SEEM ANTITHETICAL DUE TO GOP PARTY, it is true. And also that as a people, our animation is so important to us, so precious, that we easily dismiss it in order to follow rapacious policies that the state so willingly allows even thought we know better!: war, poverty, lack of education, lack of health care for millions in a country that could easily provide is for pre-natals to 21 year olds, diminishing clean water supplies, climate changes that may spark huge migrations in less than 50 years, etc.

But we need to live in the world of materialism to retain the "successful image" when nothing could be further from the truth.

[Nancy J Powell]

08:32 AM on 01/22/2011

it works

[Widespread Panic]

11:12 PM on 01/21/2011

I try to use intrinsic motivation on my kid, but that's cause I know it will work on her. She's just naturally motivated in that way. However I remember my parents bribing my sister to do things with money, extra play time, etc. And it worked. So each kid is different, you just have to find what way works best for each of them.

[OtayPanky]

06:25 PM on 01/21/2011

The truth is that in most parts of the work, bribery IS intrinsic motivation.

And not just for kids, either.

A little baksheesh greases the wheels of government and commerce - same as it ever was.

[cinemaven]

04:53 PM on 01/21/2011

I always used choices.

We can either clean up for 1/2 an hour now or we can do it during every commercial break on TV so long as we power through it. You can either go to bed at 8 or go to bed at 8 and read until 8:30. You can do homework for 1/2 an hour before supper or 1/2 an hour after supper. I can't think of any real bribing I did other than taking them to the grocery store every week to help me plan our dinners. They got to choose Fri. & Sat. meals every week and we all chose one thing we'd never tasted before each week. Both boys were tidy and great and adventurous eaters.

[BillAtFamZoo]

02:21 PM on 01/21/2011

"How to do this? Next week I'll be writing about how to harness kids' intrinsic motivation to help them get their chores and their homework done -- without complaints or nagging. Really."

If you've solved that problem and have successfully deployed it in your own household (your descriptions above indicates you're not quite there yet with your kids ;-), I'll be truly impressed!! Kinda like the Holy Grail of parenting.

Most kids seem to struggle to appreciate the long term implications & value of certain habits that we as adults deem to be in their best interest (based on our own valid hindsight/experience). Makes sense: they're kids - their frontal lobes are still developing and they're just starting to rack up life's experiences. Therefore, tapping into their intrinsic motivation in these types of areas seems like an improbable herculean task.

I agree that intrinsic motivation is the most powerful form, but I really can't imagine a functional world without extrinsic forms of motivation as well - seems like practical scenarios require a balance of the two.

Can't wait to see next week's post!

[dopamineboy]

01:05 PM on 01/21/2011

This is a huge issue in our school system. Particularly in elementary schools there's a major emphasis on reward systems to get kids to work - stickers etc. Behaviorist psychology dominates. And they deny it's bribery. And there are even some psychologists who suggest intrinsic motivation doesn't exist. But in a way it's all training for the adult work world - work hard and your carrot is a paycheck.

[Ted Bouklos]

11:41 AM on 01/21/2011

bribing your kids makes them grow up with a "what's in it for me?" attitude.