Cell-tiquette: How To Polish Up Your Cell Phone Etiquette

Lately I have noticed more and more "cell-free zone" signs in offices and public places to encourage proper cell phone etiquette. Last week I was picking up a prescription and behind the counter was a very large sign that read: "We will be happy to help you once you finish your cell phone conversation." Personally, I appreciate these signs. Don't get me wrong, I love my cell phone and appreciate the convenience it offers, but these addictive devices can often be intrusive and used at the most inappropriate times.

Case in point: This morning I walked into a public bathroom in an airport lounge and as I sat down on the porcelain throne, the woman next to me started speaking. At first I assumed she was asking for a friendly "help a sister out under the stall toilet paper pass" but I quickly realized she was not talking to me at all - she was on her cell phone. The bathroom was so quiet that I could also clearly hear the man on the other end of her cell phone. Suddenly my bladder got very bashful in the presence of this mystery man who was not invited into this bathroom. I couldn't help but listen to the conversation, hoping some kind of emergency was being discussed thereby warranting taking a call in the john. Nope. They were actually discussing business in a place where the only business that should be conducted is personal.

I considered saying something like, "Excuse me lady but could you please complete your business call when your pants are on?" - but decided that someone who talks on her cell phone while sitting on the toilet probably would not respond well to being interrupted. She would probably think I was the rude one. I also considered making as much noise as I possibly could muster, including flushing the toilet multiple times, but then I would indeed be the rude one. So I took care of my business and left the bathroom before the other woman exited her "phone-booth."

Noticing my upset, I reminded myself that what happened really wasn't that big of a deal and I let it go. But it did get me thinking about cell-tiquette - including my own. We learn to put our napkins on our laps and use the smallest fork on the left for a starter course, but where is Emily Post when it comes to cell phone etiquette? I thought about times when I continued a cell phone conversation when making a purchase, ignoring the human being behind the cash register. And I am definitely guilty of looking at my phone when it rings or a text comes in, diverting my attention from the person I am with. Where are my cell phone manners?

I encourage you to consider polishing your cell-tiquette. Complete a conversation before entering a public place. Silence your phone when you are in a relatively quiet area. Ignore a phone call that comes in when you are doing something (that is what voice mail is for). Turn your phone OFF whenever you are engaged with someone so that you can fully be present. Our cell phones are wonderful blessings yet they can also be unwelcomed distractions.

Most importantly, cell-tiquette is not just for the benefit of the people around you who are unwillingly subjected to your (usually loud) cell phone conversations. You reap the benefits as well. Your cell phone does take you away from fully taking in the present moment and the people and things around you.

And I'd like to complete my rant on cell-etiquette today with a quote from an iconic expert on etiquette, Emily Post: "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." So to the unknown Chatty Cathy from the airport bathroom, the next time you take a call in public please consider the feelings of those of us who'd like a little more privacy and silence.

- Christine

Comments

[bunnylogic]

This is probably an unpopular opinion but people in general are lonely. Cell phones give them that crutch on a daily minute-to-minute basis through texts and knowing they are wanted when a cellphone rings.

[oakley9]

It was bad before, but now it seems everyone has the speakerphone turned up so you get to hear both sides of the frivolous conversations. I've noticed that people phone for the stupidest reasons. Does anyone make their own decisions anymore or does everyone have to call a few people to get a consensus on what to buy at the grocery store?

[sandyboy]

These are some of the actual remedies I have used on rude cell phone users. While in the airport, I had a cell phone user on each side of me talking loudly, I simply pulled out my book and started to read alous, loudly--they moved! While in another airport , and again interrupted by a rudnic cell phone user across from me, I just listened and stared at him. After all, his conversation was not private(he was in a very public place.) He became uncomfortable and moved. It works every time. I do not tolerate my friends taling with another friend while with me. Either be with me or go and be with them. This is a terrible addiction and people are ignoring ther children. They are on the cell constantly and not communication with the child at their side. There will be long-term consequences to this phenom.

[WindmillSlayer]

I was at the library a couple of weeks ago when a fellow patron's cell phone rang. Not only did she answer it, but she talked at a normal conversational voice level while she looked through the stacks, announcing to the caller that she was at the library before continuing her conversation.

Nobody had the nerve to tell her to SSHHHHH.

[oakley9]

I would have told her immediately.

[EmmeGee]

I don't see the difference between a conversation between two persons and that conducted by a solo person on the phone - if it is at the same decibel level. The third party listening or able to listen to the conversation should be affected by those two conversations in identical ways. So if someone says to me that a solo diner at a restaurant was in error, I simply don't understand. Was he too loud? Then the error is loudness. Was he expecting privacy? Too bad for him! How is someone at a neighboring table disturbed "differently" than if the person at the other end of the phone call was also present?

I do agree that it is rude to take or make calls while you are with company. Your attention should be dedicated to the person with whom you are currently in conversation. I get that.

I also understand that knowing that the person at the other end of the conversation is off the opposite sex when the call is taking place in a public restroom might very well be disturbing. But why exactly is it rude to converse while you are in the restroom? It is a restroom, not a library!

I do think it is rude to hold up a check out line or to disturb a movie experience or ... but there is no need to demonize a phone conversation when an ordinary conversation would be considered alright, is there?

[DMaven]

I find bathroom cellphone usage more disgusting than rude. And what if it slipped out of your grasp???

[argon20]

Haven't you ever noticed a person talking very loudly on the cell phone--then, immediately after the call ends, they turn to the person next to them and start speaking in a soft, confidential manner?

Two people sitting/standing near each other naturally modulate their voices to maintain tone and volume appropriate to their proximity and surroundings. They utilize gesture and facial expression for emphasis and to convey emotion. Absent the presence of an actual conversational partner, a cell phone user projects his/her voice indiscriminately into space, speaking louder and making more exaggerated remarks in order to make up for the lack of nearness and physical cues. That's why cell phone conversation sounds so affected and stagy to those of us forced to listen in.

Someone having a cell phone conversation in a bathroom violates an agreement of privacy most of us expect in a public restroom-- where we all presume to mind our own business while we're doing our business. Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable if someone were openly making a tape recording or taking photographs?

[MelanieWatson]

Helpful and interesting article. I used to be a server and one of my pet peeves was when a customer was on his or her cell and insisted and me taking his or her order. Argh! Read this article on the dangers of texting http://www.citizensreport.org/2009/07/25/texting-distractions-often-turn-deadly/

[Hollywooddeed]

Some of the worst offenders are those who have their cell phone in pocket or purse and have one of those wireless ear things. It interrupts my thought process and personal space when they start talking and I think they're talking to me. Stop it!

[BlueZoo]

Would someone please explain to me that if you have a phone in your hand, why do people text instead of calling? I use my cell for emergencies only and NOBODY has my number; however, my son's cell (which, btw, he pays for himself!) is constantly clogged with texts even though he has the phone on his person at all times. This phenomena baffles me, as I see far less person-to-person contact these days and the cell phone seems to be the cause. As far as talking on the cell while driving, it's a huge no-no, along with texting while driving.

[LauraD]

I went to a movie with my husband, parents, and brother one weekend, and during one of the 99 commercials they show urging people to turn off their cell phones (in addition to the signs and announcement of the same request), my mom leaned over to me and asked me something to the effect of "How much do you want to bet that no matter how many times they tell us to turn them off, someone's phone will ring during this movie?"

I laughed and refused to take the bet because she, of course, was correct.

Lo and behold. Not only did it happen, but it was the person sitting directly in front of us, who was there while we were talking about it earlier. I said "Oh my god" loudly, my husband elbowed me, my mom cracked up laughing, and my brother nearly spit popcorn (my father continued to watch the movie, because he wasn't paying any attention).

Point of the story - it never fails. Rude people are rude because they don't think about anyone other than themselves. No matter how much cell-tiquette discussion there may be, rude people will continue to be rude, and we gadget geeks will continue to provide them with the newest and most annoying way to be rude.

All we can really do is point out individual rudeness and embarass them for it, which is admittedly, highly satisfying.

[Treehuggindirtworshiper]

You said it all!

[findingmuse]

This one time, I was driving behind some girl who had a bumper sticker on her car that read "Turn off your &^% phone and DRIVE!"

Guess what she was doing. :)

[jazz09]

Glad to finally see this being talked about...I just had my first (& last) date with someone because he took & made a call after dinner.

[stevefNYC]

oh my

Gone are 9-5 work hours (like it or not).

Sometimes i have to excuse myself because i have to take a job - even if its 9 pm and im at dinner. If i left it till i got home, or till the morning, the job will go to someone else.

[bunnylogic]

Prepare to remain single then.

[PlagueRat]

you know what really grinds my gears? when people talking on their cells in pubic get mad about other people listening to their calls. that is the height of self absorption.

[newtom]

Couldn't agree more! The conversation I was trying to have with my table-mate at a restaurant once was disrupted by a woman two tables away on her cell phone. She was talking about a relationship problem she was having with some unknown party (unknown to me, certainly, as well as to the person sitting at the table with this ignoramous).

In protest, I started talking to my companion -- at a very loud volume -- about a "personal" topic. Incredible as this may seem, the rude cell-phone talker stopped, looked at me and declared me "so rude" for talking about that so loudly in public. HONEST!!! She went back to her cell conversation.

[ELS1976]

I got ya one better. This chick driving a SUV while talking on the cell phone with her window rolled down, yelled at the the driver next to her to turn down his music because she couldn't hear here conversation.

[SarcasticFringehead]

This topic reminds me of a quote I read from the book "the Corrections" by Johnahan Franzen. One of his character's says that cellphones are " the obnoxious accessory for obnoxious people." That line has always stuck with me because it is so true. I wonder if this is a rude American behavior, or if it goes on all over the world?

[JustLucky]

I've been wondering when the cell phone etiquette articles would finally start showing up. IT'S TIME! We need an ongoing flood of these kinds of articles all over the media until it's perfectly clear that cell phone users don't get to make up their own rules and pollute everyone else's lives.

[JustLucky]

One of the more amazing and infuriating ones that I've encountered are those who take out their phones on quiet busses and loudly carry on long conversations to all their friends while everyone in the bus is trapped with the annoying prattle. How can anyone be so ignorant?