I pinched a nerve in my back, which is one of the most painful experiences with which I've dealt. I went to the doctor, who prescribed muscle relaxers and steroids after taking 37 seconds to press my back in three places and diagnosing me with a pinched nerve in my lower back. After a week, the doctor refilled the steroid prescription with a different, more potent version of the same drug, and told me to get my butt to physical therapy.
When I was on the drugs, though, I felt some serious anxiety. Whatever benefits Prednisone offered my back were washed away with the havoc it wreaked on my brain. I had a week-long adventure of the worst anxiety attack I've had in years, and I've had a few.
So, I did what any normal girl would do when hopped up on painkillers with a side of anxiety. I did everything wrong.
Things you shouldn't do during an anxiety attack
Have your palms read
In my infinite wisdom, while out with some girlfriends at a ladies-day-out event, I thought it would be brilliant to have my palms read. I didn't believe in any of that mumbo-jumbo but figured I'd give some quack 20 bucks and she'd tell me some of the amazing things in my future. Of course, I didn't realize that her visions would be vague and could lean toward the negative or positive depending on my level of sanity. And being a lunatic on drugs, I was thinking some deep, dark thoughts. After that, my anxiety was through the roof even more than it already was. To drive the nail a little deeper, I believed the palm reader. The minute she told me I was on a lucky streak, I took everything she said and mentally filed it away awaiting my fame, fortune and every negative thing having to do with my job and relationship.
Consume alcohol
With all that anxiety, I found myself in search of chocolate. When the only chocolate in the house required baking (forget that) or was the last piece of Easter candy (a hollow cookies and cream bunny) that I planned to snap photos of for a potential blog post next Easter (that I'm probably not going to write anyway), I knew what I had to do. I opened a bottle of Bailey's and poured a largely portioned shot (twice) and took pictures. Since my tolerance for alcohol was pretty low, I was drunk, which magnified my anxiety.
Upgrade your website host
When your anxiety is already raging, there's no time like the present to fix what ain't broken. Well, my site was kind of broken but not really. It was running super slow, and my hosting people told me if I spent more money, my site would run faster, and everyone wants that, right? So, I jumped on my computer after a few shots of liquor and went to town. I also panicked and spent 30 minutes chatting with customer support who told me I should avoid making any changes for a couple days while it transferred over. They also said some other stuff, which I promptly forwarded to my boyfriend, because it looked like another language. I don't speak computer.
Contact your boyfriend who's out with his friends
After all that nonsense, I was freaking out about my stupid soothsaying palms, drunk, with a broken website, and alone. My boyfriend was out with a friend, catching a flick. After movies, they tend to stand outside and talk, sometimes for hours, even when it's freezing outside. I couldn't handle that much more of my anxiety alone. I needed to drag someone else into my crazy BS. Since my boyfriend voluntarily lives with me knowing I come with my own brand of crazy, I played the part of psycho girlfriend.
First, I checked the run time of said movie. Then, realizing he was still in the movie, sent a text that said something along the lines of, "Hey. I'm crazy right now. My anxiety is killing me slowly. Please come home as soon as possible so I don't accidentally die of over-analysis." I made that last part up. I didn't think I was going to die. But my brain was not pleased with me.
When he didn't respond after the movie was supposed to let out, I sent a Google Talk message because crazy requires company. Google Talk lets you see if someone has seen your message, and I knew I'd be a little less anxious knowing he hadn't seen my message. See? Crazy. Ever the casual stalker, I messaged something light: "Hey no big deal, but just let me know you saw my message. Kthxbye."
When in doubt, visit Facebook
As if my anxiety wasn't already rocking, I took to Facebook where everyone's joys were flying all over the place. Why is it that when you're super anxious, Facebook is all look how happy everyone is? And when you're flying high on life, it's all, "OMG look at all this SAD." Why? Because Facebook is a dick. Luckily, I have some pretty fantastic friends to whom I explained my anxiety problem. They told me I probably shouldn't have done anything I did, and then they distracted me with strange conversations to cheer me up.
Thankfully, the drugs are out of my system, now, and I've returned to normal levels of crazy. Well, normal for me.
When have you had to deal with crazy side effects? What have you done while anxious that just increased your anxiety tenfold?