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Christopher Elliott

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TSA Agents Do The Strangest Things!

Posted: 02/ 6/2012 7:00 am

What's with TSA agents' bizarre behavior lately?

Take Ellen Terrell, who was flying out of Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. As she was being screened, one of the agents asked, "Do you play tennis?"

"Why?" she responded.

"You just have such a cute figure," the agent said.

As the Dallas CBS affiliate reported last week, that wasn't all. Terrell says she walked into the body scanner, but was repeatedly told that she had to back up and walk through again.

After the third time, Terrell says even the agent seemed frustrated with her co-workers in the other room, the men reviewing the digital images of a svelte Terrell.

"She's talking into her microphone and she says, 'Guys, it is not blurry, I'm letting her go. Come on out,'" she says.

Boys will be boys. But this latest reported incident is just one of several recent cases of truly unusual behavior exhibited by the agency workforce.

Margaret Hillers and her 91-year-old mother were traveling through Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, which gets an inordinate number of complaints about its agents, a few weeks ago. When they reached the metal detector, the conveyor belt on the X-ray stopped.

"I watched as a TSA employee -- a young man who looked like a sulky 16-year-old but was probably mid-20s and who had just sat down at the scanner -- sat there and looked liked he was ready to fall asleep," she says.

Passengers began lining up behind the Hillers, but the agent was unconcerned.

"He looked as if he were going to take a short nap," she says.

An airport employee helping the women with their wheelchair explained that the young agent really didn't care and that he wouldn't work unless a supervisor was nearby. He said several passengers had even missed flights because of his sluggish screening practices.

The Hillers made their flight, but not before Mom had to stand up, totter through the magnetometer without her cane and walk through a full-body scanner.

"I was struck by the complete lack of courtesy demonstrated by the TSA employees in Seattle," she told me. "They treated us all like cattle."

Yeah, but sleeping on the job? That's a new low.

Actually, I wouldn't call it "new."

Just last week, six TSA baggage screeners in Newark -- another troubled airport, as far as the TSA is concerned -- were suspended for sleeping on the job.

One of the strangest recent cases of inexplicable TSA agent behavior was what happened when a screener found an adult toy in attorney Jill Filipovic's baggage. Instead of quietly admiring the electronics, he slipped her a note urging her to, "get your freak on, girl."

The TSA initially disputed her claim, but after an investigation, it tracked down the employee and fired him. In a prepared statement, the agency called the screener's actions "highly inappropriate and unprofessional."

It's not the first time the TSA has targeted sex toys. Nor have agents abstained from leaving passengers notes in their luggage since then.

Who can forget the utterly strange note -- "C'mon son!" -- left in rapper Freddie Gibbs checked luggage when an agent discovered a bag marijuana in it?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying the TSA is staffed by a bunch of perverted, incompetent, lewd, pot-heads. But incidents like these make you wonder when the a TSA urges us not to judge the agency by the actions of a few, as it did last week.

How should we judge the agency, then? Perhaps by the number of domestic terrorist attacks it has stopped?

Oh wait, that would be zero.

I have a better idea. Let's stop making silly public statements about the integrity of the TSA and put the agency to some good use. Why not use those overpaid Behavior Detection Officers to keep an eye on the agency's own workforce? After all, they're experts at ferreting out strange behavior, and if anyone can stop TSA employees from doing bizarre things, isn't it them?

What's with TSA agents' bizarre behavior lately? Take Ellen Terrell, who was flying out of Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. As she was being screened, one of the agents asked, "Do you play te...
What's with TSA agents' bizarre behavior lately? Take Ellen Terrell, who was flying out of Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. As she was being screened, one of the agents asked, "Do you play te...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Karl Wilder
12:15 PM on 02/15/2012
Even though homeland theatre is a joke...no one is laughing.
photo
OutAtFirst
Believe it! You don't know how to text and drive
12:09 PM on 02/15/2012
I remember an incident with a female TSA agent. She was bleach-blond with thick mascara and large, but in a muscular way, and wore a skin-tight uniform. To top it off she was wearing a pair of fingerless black leather gloves. She kept pacing in the area just before you put you carry-ons on the conveyor and was smacking her fist into her other glove and calling out bizarre stuff like "Who wants trouble?" and "You don't make a scene on my watch!"

I almost started laughing, but I was sure she could cause some serious trouble if she thought she was being dissed.
01:29 PM on 02/14/2012
Every time I fly, I see a TSA agent do something incompetent. And I once had expensive eyeglass frames stolen from a checked suitcase that was opened and inspected by them..
07:49 AM on 02/13/2012
We just returned from a 5 week trip to Central & South America where we transited 9 different airports. At no time were we "touched." We were treated with respect and dignity. We arrived back in Miami to observe a completely different "security." Their (TSA) lack of professionalism was apparent. It seemed that their (TSA) goal was to humiliate as many people as possible! We met many people on our trip who refuse to go through U.S. airports for that reason. We had a backup plan to use a bus to go from Miami to Orlando if we were faced with an un-dignified act on TSA's part. Fortunately, the young man that was directing traffic, was half asleep and we chose the line that we wanted to go through. We chose the line that had metal detectors and not the un-proven scanner. We are afraid that someday, they will discover that the scanners are bad for someone's health. Again, no more U.S. airports for departures and certainly not Atlanta where you have to go through "security" when you arrive on an international flight. If the American public is outraged at this kind of "security" then we need to speak up and have it changed!
08:04 PM on 02/12/2012
We travel quite frequently, both within the US and abroad. I can no longer count on ten fingers how many times I've stood shaking my head at some stupidity or another. My heart-shaped key-ring that somehow (apparently, anyway) turned into a weapon. And when they couldn't exactly identify what type of weapon (the heart is actually a carabiner), they thought they should confiscate it. I'm no pushover, I kept the keychain, but not until two supervisors had to be called. My Cartier cigarette lighter, a few years ago, was also examined carefully by a TSA agent who thought it was a torch. I'm certain that a terrorist would have been quite willing to waste the money on a gold lighter instead of hiding matches in his shoe. But the best had to be the hand-searched luggage where I WATCHED a TSA agent steal my perfume. Not confiscate, steal. That complaint is still "pending" with TSA. Do I judge them? You betcha. The pilots call them Thousands Standing Around. But every time I deal with time I think of the BILLIONS of our tax dollars going to support people who are ill trained and certainly not hired on the basis of any psychological profile.