Being faithful is very difficult for most men. There is always temptation, even when you're not actively looking. Your girl is gorgeous, but then you meet a girl who has bigger boobs and you can't help but engage her in conversation. You're tempted to text her, ask her out for drinks, and spend the night with her. This life is fun, easy and exhilarating and that's the way life should be, right?
But why would you do this when you are with someone who completes you?
When you first met your girlfriend, you were dazzled by her beauty. You were excited to go out on dates because she was so much fun. She appreciated your sense of humor and you found yourself laughing at her jokes -- even when she was poking fun at you.
You had kissed a few times before, but on one particular night, something seemed different... As your lips gently touched her lips, you felt a surge of passion. You paused for a moment, began unbuttoning her shirt, her hand feverishly guiding yours. When you unhooked her bra, things really began to intensify. You made love to her and unearthed boundless emotions. She laid there satiated, complete. You held her close, snuggled and kissed her goodnight.
As time passed, you fell in love with her. She invested in your potential, she knew your insecurities, she was unfailingly loyal. You got married and had two beautiful children... mainly because of her genes. You made an effort to help her achieve her goals. There were times when life became really frustrating and you were not in a position to solve all her problem. But you calmed her down, understood her frustrations and reassured her with your unconditional support... your encouragement made the difference.
As time passed, she became sick, really sick. As the pain ravished her body and she writhed in agony, you felt weak. She lost weight and it affected your appetite, so you also lost weight. But then you realized that now, more than ever, was the time to be strong... to show that you were the man she fell in love with. So, you brought her flowers because it always cheered her up, you kissed her on the forehead because it always reassured her, you tried to be funny because no matter how much pain she felt, she still wanted to smile.
A few weeks later, you're at the graveside. You wore dark glasses so that no one could see you cry, but as all the memories began to resurface, the tears slid down your cheeks. You tried to be stoic, to control your tears, but when the coffin was lowered into the ground, the convulsions overtook you and you let it all out.
There's not a day that passes by that you don't think about her. When you're deeply in love with someone, being single, living without her, is the most painful experience. You're heart aches perpetually, you're unable to sleep, and you can't focus... life is just not the same. Death is inevitable and you knew all along that one of you would go first. If you had a choice however, you would spare her that pain... you would prefer to be single... to outlive her. Because for you, the pain she suffered in her last days pales in comparison to living alone.
This article was published in its original form on Christopher Lai's relationship blog, Living The Lai, and later appeared on Thought Catalog as What It's Like To Lose The Woman Who Completes You. Follow him on Facebook for some pretty cool updates.