Are there any other fathers out there, as upset as I was by those images of a hysterical, disheveled Paris Hilton being handcuffed and shoved into the back of a police car, being driven off to jail crying and screaming for her mother? God, I hope so. I was completely blindsided by the intensity of my reaction to this scene. What I saw was not some sexy, sophisticated socialite finally getting her just desserts. No, what hit me was that this was like watching a not-very-bright five-year old who's done something wrong, but has no idea at all what that was, nor why she was being punished so severely for it.
As noted above, I'm a father too. My daughter, like Paris, is young, beautiful, poised, and accomplished at what she does -- which, thank goodness, is not what Paris does -- all day. However, there the similarities end. Unlike Paris, whose resources all appear to be external -- money, celebrity, notoriety -- my daughter has far more inner resources. Much of that has to do with good parenting, for which I can claim only partial credit. My daughter is wise beyond her years, knows right from wrong, knows that bad behavior is punishable (not that she has ever behaved badly enough to warrant punishment) and knows about being a responsible adult. She also thinks I'm nuts for feeling pity at Paris being packed off to the pokey.
But I could clearly see on the young heiress' face that Paris had no clue what was happening to her, nor why. And seeing that infuriates me. What kind of parents would leave their beautiful child so defenseless? Her parents surely gave Paris everything she needed for the lifestyle of the pampered princess they expected her to be -- and which she has been for years. But they gave her nothing to help her through her present situation. Shame on them for not giving her something -- anything! -- to fall back on when the high-priced lawyers and publicists failed. Now, I always saw my primary roles as parent to be (1) Protect my children as much as I can and (2) Help them learn to protect themselves when I can't be there. But Princess Paris is bereft of a sense of responsibility, lacking in moral purpose, and has been given scant chance to develop resilience and inner strength. And it's not her fault.
Make no mistake: Paris IS royalty in American eyes, just as much as Princess Di was to the British. Yes, our criteria are different. Money has always equaled royalty in the USA. Ever since we overthrew an oppressive monarchy, we've been culturally unable to perceive royalty the same way as in countries where there is an actual "royal family." The Great Gatsby was only one work of literature to enshrine the idea that wealth, even new wealth, automatically brings privilege and celebrity as a piece of the American Dream. Do we treat such people differently? You bet we do! Do they have opportunities and advantages you and I will never have, solely because of their wealth? Of course! Does the law deal differently with them than it does with you and me? Silly question! Do the rest of us expect them to garner such special treatment? Sure! And that's another reason why the sight of this handcuffed, hysterical American princess was so jarring.
I was asked whether I'd have been so upset by Paris's predicament if she weren't beautiful. I'd like to think so. Seeing any hysterical young person experiencing that kind of helpless grief should press all the right buttons in any father's heart. But, let's face it: Paris has been there for our entertainment. An opiate for the masses. A distraction from the more-serious stories that compete for our attention and emotions every day. It's usually fun to watch her. As it should be -- that's her function, her job. I've never seen her infamous sex video, but I can say without pause that she does a great job washing Bentleys.
For all those (including whoever wrote her little jailhouse mea culpa for her), concerned that we spend too much time looking at Paris and not enough time looking at, say, Al-Anbar Province, you miss the point of Paris. Few of us want to dwell on misery 24/7. There are more opportunities to see that kind of thing, and react to it, than any sane person could possibly want. But where's the balance? There are times when we want to stop choking back our cries of outrage at violence, death, injustice, poverty, and just watch a colorful butterfly with no higher purpose than to flit around looking pretty. And there was Paris. Just for fun! Yes, it was always fun, maybe even silly, to watch Paris prancing across my TV screen. But was it fun watching her get dragged away last week? Hell, no! Will it ever be again? I doubt it.
As a father, it saddened me to see this young lady, so defenseless in this situation, made a pawn by the law and the media. To see her become the token spoiled rich kid, so the L.A. judge and Sheriff could show us which of them was tougher. I think that we all -- Paris, society, the downtrodden masses who look to Paris for occasional amusement -- would have been far better served if her worthless attorneys and pathetic parents had wangled her a sentence of highly visible community service instead of a spell in the slammer aided by psychotropic drugs. Oh, wait! Do the other residents of that facility get meds to help them cope with their incarceration? What do you think? At least with Paris doing community service, the show, the fun, would have gone on. Instead, another butterfly has been self-righteously squashed. A small tragedy. A tiny loss, certainly, but one that should be mourned just the same.