"Fat girls try harder." "Big girls give better BJ's." And, sadly, there are men out there that do like to prey on plus size women because there in a stereotype that fat, thick, curvy women have lower self esteem so we "put out." We will feel grateful for any attention and we will be happy to settle for what we get.
These tired stereotypes make me crazy!
I own a plus size lingerie store called Curvy Girl Lingerie and I have been in the business of selling romance toys for the past 11 years. I have talked to thousands of curvy women about their struggles with their weight, their lives, the romantic lives, their challenges with their families and dating as a plus size person. Based on all of that feedback, I have some advice and tips for curvy women and the men and women that love us.
For starters, like my title says: DO NOT SETTLE ! Do not settle for someone who is unkind to you. Do not settle for someone who is verbally abusive or physically abusive. Do not settle for someone that has to make you their dirty little secret. If your boyfriend, lover, girlfriend or whomever cannot be seen with you in public or cannot introduce you to their friends, then it's time for a GUT check and run the other way. It's time to have enough love and respect for yourself to walk away from any relationship where they are not 100 percent proud to walk around with you on their arm in public.
Wouldn't it be better to be alone and lonely then to be together with someone who treats you like crap? I feel like if you are spending the majority of your time with some one and they do not lift you up and treat you like a goddess, it is time to move on or to be alone.
Do you want to know that type of men and women that are attracted to curvy women? Let me give you some examples of what I have seen at my plus size lingerie brick and mortar store in San Jose. We have seen hundreds of couples.
Examples: Teachers, Plumbers, Soldiers, Truck Drivers, Retirees, Police Officers, Politicians, Self-Employed People, Accountants, Firemen, Clothing Designers, Lawyers, Athletes, Movers, Chefs, Dish Washers, Car Salesmen, TV Producers, Musicians, and Contractors. And, we have seen men and women who are anywhere from the age of 19 to the age of 84 at our store. Every single race and ethnicity has been represented and we have met Catholics, Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Born Again Christians, Atheists, Pagans and Agnostics that are attracted to curvy women and in relationships with Plus Size women. (We even have customers that are "Furries" that love curvy women.)
Are you getting the idea here? The point is that there is no "type" or person that is attracted to curvy women. We are just women. Plain and simple. It's sort of like that Facebook meme that goes around. We are not pretty for a fat girl. We are just pretty. We are not smart for a fat girl. We are smart. People are attracted to people who feel good about themselves and who have confidence. When there is a connection, there is a connection. Sure, there are some men and women who will not be attracted to you because of your size. But, so what? I am personally not attracted to every single human on the planet, are you?
If you have had the frame of mind that you are going to take whatever you can get or you are going to be grateful for any kind of romantic attention, I would like to suggest that you refrain from that kind thinking and expect more. Fat or not, everyone deserves love, respect, companionship and romance -- if that is what they want. I understand some people may prefer to be single their entire life, too. But, if you want to be in a relationship, the more value you put on yourself, the more value people will see in you.
Sadly, there really are men and women out there that know how to look for women who feel vulnerable and who have low self esteem. These are the type of people who will go to an event or a party and will be looking for curvy women who feel like shit about themselves. These are the bottom feeders of the world. These are the type of people who will say things about your body or put you down. Curvy Girls, do yourself a favor and save yourself some heartache.
Your romantic partner should always make you feel like a million dollars and should never, ever insult you about your body or your weight. They should make you feel beautiful and sexy and worship you and there should be a lot of mutual respect and love. You all deserve that and I would hate to ever think of any of my friends or customers settling for less that that.
Here are some examples of our Curvy customers and their lovers. I asked for our fans on our Curvy Girl Lingerie Facebook Pagehttp://www.facebook.com/curvygirlinc to share their photos so we could see a variety of couples and a variety of men and women who LOVE a Curvy woman. I hope you enjoy the pictures of our fans and customers.
Follow Chrystal Bougon on Twitter: www.twitter.com/blissconnection