He knew it was inevitable, had to be proffered, promoted, sold.
In the days of yore you made appointments not to have sex so you could get things done. "We need to go to the grocery store," meant no sex for an hour. Now everything was something that had to get done.
They were in bed, naked - she caressing with her Kindle.
"Ya know," he said, "We should start making appointments to make love."
She looked up, did her bobble-head thing, skidded a finger across the screen. "Sure."
He was pleased with himself. "To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, today is Monday ... so we could make an appointment for Wednesday, for example. And get to bed earlier than usual."
"Either of us could make appointments, depending on our schedules."
"You don't have to oversell this."
"Just send me a reminder," she said. "Text, not email."
A welcomed response! She doesn't check her personal email every day, so she wants to make sure she knows about any appointments because she'll obviously be looking forward to them.
"I don't always open my email," she continued, "So if I don't get your message you might get pissed."
"... I wouldn't get pissed."
He might be disappointed. Having to think about if he'd be disappointed or not was getting him pissed.
She plopped the tablet on the bed and faced him. "So ... when one of us makes an appointment ... should there be a memo attached? An agenda? Bullet points?"
He wasn't expecting such details about details. "Yes. There could be bullet points."
"Or maybe just an outline. Hierarchical."
"That might work," he said.
"Or simply an abstract. No specifics."
"That'd work, too," he nodded. "We could mix it up. Some outlined, some we'll just wing it."
She bunched up the pillows, nestled her head. "Should we bring along any devices or accessories?"
"... Sure. Although we have all of them here in drawers and under the bed, so we don't need to bring them anywhere. I guess we could get them out and line them up beforehand."
"But what if one of us makes an appointment to take place in the living room or kitchen?"
He was stumped. The last time they had sex in one of those places they didn't need appointments.
True, he didn't miss them. The kitchen table was too low, he had to bend down, afterwards his back always hurt, usually for days. And that was at least five years ago when he was young - even though at the time he thought he was old.
"Gee, we haven't had any appointments like that in probably five years, I bet," he said, trying to sound wistful.
"Ten," she said.
If that's true, it means I thought I was old ten years ago, he realized. But thinking about it now, he was obviously young ten years ago...
Would he think in ten years that he was young now? He made a mental note to remember that he was old, so in ten years he wouldn't fool himself, like he was doing now.
"What are thinking about?" she asked. "Fantasizing about our appointment?"
"No you're not. You look frightened. Like I might want to have an appointment in the kitchen, and you'd hurt your back."
"... Now that you mention it, maybe in all memos announcing appointments in the kitchen, we should always include four thick books to prop up the table legs."
"I'll make a kitchen memo template," she said.
"And send it to me so I can use it."
She snickered. "You'll never send out a kitchen memo."
Their first appointment was scheduled for Thursday night. They decided not to put together a memo, but just 'wing it' to see how it'd go.
But when they got into bed, she noticed that something interesting was on PBS at nine. They watched it, then went to sleep.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.