Oh, dear. Only ten days into the sleep challenge and both Arianna and I are off the wagon. (And we have to go defend ourselves on Joy Behar’s show tonight at 9). The glamorous Arianna had her relapse because of a fabulous-sounding till-all-hours dinner party, but me? I retreated to my old five-hours-a-night ways last night because at three in the morning, I was thinking about logos and LEGO.
Here’s the deal. Last night was a late night anyway (dinner with friends, then a play, then reading stories for our next issue after). Fine—I just figured I’d sleep in a smidge later and still get my seven-and-a-half. But then I happened to wake up at three-ish and... all of a sudden, there I was in the pitch-black, mentally scrolling through my to-do list. “Ruminative thought” is apparently a typical female sleep problem, according to Michael Breus, Ph.D., but it was new to me: I can usually sleep through anything anytime (including loud clock radios and, much to my husband’s chagrin, screaming babies—a technique I definitely recommend if you plan to have children). But this time, the thought process went something like this:
And at that point I realized that if I was seriously considering getting out of bed, putting on a robe, walking down the stairs, across cold foyer tile and outside into the freezing 19-degree New York City night to remove a holiday wreath from my door at three in the morning, I really was not doing very well with the Sleep Challenge. I did end up eventually falling back asleep, but when I went for a run this morning, I accidentally locked myself out of my own house—I guess it’s true that sleep deprivation makes you flakier.
Anyway, as I mentioned, Dr. Breus sees this a lot in his practice, and he has a suggestion: Before you go to bed, write down all the little nagging things in the back of your mind that you’re thinking about, and write down a solution—even if the solution is “... think about this tomorrow... ” Another good idea: Try to schedule some time in your day to deal with all the things you haven’t caught up on, so they don’t catch up with you at 3am. Too many of us ignore this, he says. “During the day, when do you have time to sit down and think?” he asks. “You don’t. But if you haven’t scheduled that time on your day planner, when does it happen? It’s probably happening when you turn off your lights. And that’s just about the worst time you could be thinking about things.” So set aside some time for, you know, thinking during the day. And, if all else fails and you’re wide awake at three in the morning, try what Gretchen Rubin, author of the Happiness Project, just suggested on her blog: Pretend it’s morning and that “in a minute, you’re going to be marching through the morning routine. Often this is an exhausting enough prospect to make me fall asleep.”
What do you wake up thinking about at three in the morning? And how do you get back to sleep... or don’t you?
Good night!
More from glamour.com:
Enter to win a Vera Wang by Serta bridal bed and Agent Provocateur pajamas!
10 Things Women Do That Drive Guys Crazy
How to Dress 10 Pounds Thinner
That's So 2010: 7 Beauty Trends That'll Be Big This Year
HuffPost TV: Arianna And Cindi Leive Explain Sleep Challenge 2010 On 'The Joy Behar Show' (VIDEO)
Then the moment - "what? It's only noon? But that means I can't go to bed for... a really long time!"
I do, however, tend to wake up about an hour or so before my alarm everyday, putting me at less sleep than is desirable. I wake up so tired, needing to use the bathroom and wanting to jump back into sleep... except somewhere before the toilet and the bed, my mind whirs on... running through the to-do list and often obsessing over my "failures" ... I've got big goals of writing and weight loss and haven't been taking many steps to achieve this lately. I can never fall back asleep and feel tired all day.
I loved the humanity and reality of 3am chatter.
I have it myself and know it well.
I have learned that after I have been up a long time, I start obsessing about how much sleep I have LEFT> Sort of "Oh no, now it is 4am and I only have 2.5 more hours to sleep if I start right now..." that is enough to send me over.
Now, I just turn the clocks away when I have insomnia.... I try to let the structure of time go, recognize that I will be tired the next day, and refuse to look at exactly how long I have been awake. It helps!
Kari
Wow. Your stream of consciousness - really messed up your unconsciousness. But remember it’s OK! No one is perfect and no one has perfect sleep. This happens to everyone, and this was actually good for you! Why? Because you realized what you were doing, and something you could do about it. If this happens again, try to distract yourself and shift your focus away from the “ruminating” in the dark: Try counting backwards from 300 by 3’s. Or listening to soothing music. You are still doing great, but the novelty of the Challenge may be wearing a bit thin. This is where even if you “fell off the sleep wagon” you can still get right back on and try, try again. Do not despair, you are doing just fine. Remember, you’ve experienced it: everything you do, you will do better with a good night’s sleep.
Sweet Dreams,
Michael J. Breus, PhD
The Sleep Doctor™
Be that as it may, there's a rapidly growing Quiet Homes movement that's doing something about this problem. Read all about it at:
http://barkingdogs.net/
And, if you're in Arizona, check out:
http://www.quietarizona.org/
"Why does my cat like to awaken me at this hour"
If her food bowl is empty Shiloh's got this routine where she'll jump on the bed, run up to my face, meow, jump back off, REPEAT. AS LONG AS NECESSARY TILL OWNER GETS OUT OF BED.
Except nowadays she doesn't even bother to CHECK the food bowl before doing this. So I get up, walk to the kitchen, see the bowl is MORE than half full, and ask myself
What did I do to you?
DEBT
hard to fall back to sleep on that one