Going to an Oprah Taping is High on Everyone's List: Why Not Mine?

I had never thought too much about Oprah. Of course I like her. She's Oprah. Her philanthropy is astounding. Her background and rise to fame equally impressive. Her ability to influence millions around the world can't be ignored. But those things aside, what is it about Oprah that makes women go wild? Especially women who are so different than the woman herself?

Last week I took my mother-in-law and two of my sisters-in-law to a live taping of The Oprah Winfrey Show. The tickets, surprisingly, weren't hard to come by. A little sleuthing around on the internet, a well-crafted essay about why I deserved last minute tickets, and a phone call later, I was offering one to my mother-in-law. A petite and carefully put together Midwestern woman, she literally jumped up and down and fist-pumped the air. I'm not kidding.

That was my first clue that I was in for something bigger than I realized.

To score myself a few more points with my new family, I invited two of my sisters-in-law. One of them lives in Chicago and has fielded her mother's inquiry about getting Oprah tickets for years, so I was glad to relieve her of such pressure. My other sister-in-law, a marketing exec in Cleveland, was almost as thrilled as my husband's mother. Turns out she records Oprah every day and watches the show as she cooks dinner.

As the date for the show neared, it dawned on me what a big deal this was for these women. My mother-in-law told me that she was waiting until the week before the show to even tell her friends that she was going to it. "I don't want to have to talk about it every time I see them," she explained. And every time my sister-in-law (the one who tapes Oprah) wrote to me about the show, her usually simple and to-the-point emails contained whole sentences full of capitals and exclamations. Both of them conferred with me about what they should wear, presenting options for me to choose from, as though I had some idea that might be better than theirs.

On the day of the taping, the four of us waited in a fairly long line that wrapped around Harpo Studios on Washington Boulevard. We were wearing the advised bright colors. Myself in a green knit top, my mother-in-law in purple and my sisters-in-law in pink and multi-colored tops. Eventually we were guided upstairs to a holding pen full of more brightly-dressed and bubbly women. Out of a hundred or more audience members there were probably only 10 men present (they were wearing bright colors, too). And I would guess that about 15-20% percent of the women present were African-American. The rest of the women looked just like me and my crew: white, American, middle class and educated. All around us clips of past Oprah shows played on flat screen televisions, squeals and claps cascading down on us from the speakers.

An MSNBC article quotes the following demographics regarding Oprah viewers: "Oprah's audience is predominantly female, white, and over the age of 55. Nationally 7.4 million people watch Oprah daily -- about 2.6% of American households. Eleven percent of all older black women watch Oprah, and 7% of all older white women watch the show everyday. Oprah's audience is also predominantly white: 5.9 million of whites watch Oprah, compared with 1.4 million blacks."

Going to the bathroom before the show, I found myself standing next to an overly-excited white, middle-aged woman. She told me she'd flown in from Florida the night before. Just to see Oprah, I asked? "Of course!" She frowned at me and I tried to brighten my smile, nodding at her enthusiasm. "When someone offers you tickets to The Oprah Winfrey Show, you get yourself on a plane. I've waited my whole life for this," she continued.

I tried to think of something that I felt this way about. Something that would make me get on a plane, no matter what. Something that I've waited my whole life to do. I couldn't think of anything. What did that mean? I didn't know, but I bet Oprah could recommend a book that would help me figure it out.

Finally, we were taken to our seats. For whatever reason (probably demographics or sweater colors) my mother-in-law was separated from us and led to a front row seat, only feet away from Oprah's interviewing chair. Me and my sisters-in-law were then given pretty good seats just to the left of the stage and when Oprah walked by wearing all gray, only the bottoms of her Christian Louboutin shoes showing a hint of red, my sister-in-law (the one who records the show) could have reached out and touched her. She didn't, but she did tell me later that her cheeks hurt after the show because she smiled so much.

It turned out to be a live taping. We were briefly prepped for this by a handler with a microphone who warned us that if we were going to say anything during the taping it had better be about the show. And. Only. The. Show. We nodded. My sister-in-law smiled. Oprah stood in the center of the stage just before we went live, reading over the teleprompter cues and going over notes with another handler. Her stylist came out and teased more curls into her hair, gently spraying hairspray into his own palm before touching it to the ends of her bangs. She waved at the audience, greeted us. The women went wild. She told us that the shoes she was wearing were not made for walking. We laughed.

And then we went live. My body tensed and I leaned forward watching as Oprah read expertly off the teleprompter. I could see the words too and was impressed with the way she seamlessly interjected her own sentences here and there. She began by following up on some recent shows -- something about child pornography and something else about a 16-year-old girl singing with Celine Dion. She looked serious when she asked us to help pass legislation against the pedophiles. She cried real tears (the camera wasn't even on her) when a clip of the 16-year-old was shown singing at Madison Square Garden with Dion, her idol.

After that she was joined on stage by Extreme Home Makeover's Ty Pennington who plugged his new book before we watched a video of him remaking a pair of twins' bedrooms. At the very end of the show, Oprah announced her new book club selection: The Story of Edgar Sawtelle and we were all given hardcover copies. (I'm halfway through and I have to say that it really is a good book.)

I think I spent half of the show watching my mother-in-law. It was fun to see her up there, right near the stage, beaming at Oprah, laughing at Ty Pennington when he joked about how ADD he is, blotting her lipstick during commercial breaks. I watched as she and the woman next to her leaned in together to talk about Oprah's shoes during another break. Oprah noticed them and the woman next to my mother-in-law said, "We like your shoes!" Oprah glanced down at them and wiggled her ankles. "Thank you," she said, "like I said, they're not for walking!" My mother-in-law and her seatmate broke into wide smiles, nodding back at Oprah enthusiastically.

After we left the show that day, retrieving our still-beaming mother-in-law ("Just wait 'til I tell everyone!"), the four of us made the obligatory stop in the Oprah store across the street. I watched my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law (the one who tapes the show) fill up bags with Christmas ornaments and baby bibs. Declining a bag myself, I milled through aisles of sweatsuits and key chains, books and booties, everything covered in an O-shaped stamp of approval. I watched as my sister-in-law considered an "O" dog collar and as my mother-in-law carefully put a coffee mug in her bag.

And all the while, I couldn't help but wonder, was going to The Oprah Winfrey Show everything they wanted it to be? And what was it exactly they wanted it to be?

Follow Claire Bidwell Smith on Twitter: www.twitter.com/clairebidwell

Comments

[neurologymatters]

I give Oprah credit for being a self made woman and her charitable work. I must admit-I do not understand why she remians so powerful. I do not like book clubs-maybe that is the key.

[stevefromkelso]

15 to 20% of the population have a big chip on their shoulder

[Raven24]

I enjoyed your piece because of the joy it simply gave to your mother-in-law. Evidently scoring Oprah tickets was a very powerful gift and I'm OK with the unanswered question at the end. Man, Oprah really fires up women from various backgrounds.

[wildflowermaven]

I saw that show! Can't say I have the same intensity of desire your MIL had,but seeing Oprah would be pretty special. Can't say why exactly, but I love the show and her magazine. My guess is that it was everything they expected and wanted. Maybe its just that they want to be able to say --we saw her, we were there. Sometimes that's more than enough.

[Claire Bidwell Smith - Huffpost Blogger]

Funny that you were at the same show! Have you started the book yet? It's great.

And maybe you're right. Maybe it was simply about being there.

[afineman]

On a different note, I am curious Claire. Why leave us hanging? I want to know the answers to your questions. Or will that be a follow up post?

[Claire Bidwell Smith - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks for you comment. I wasn't so much trying to leave you hanging, but rather put the question out there. What is it about Oprah that draws people to her?

And I don't know if my mother-in-law and sister-in-law got everything they wanted out of it. They seemed to, but I guess I just wonder how much of what Oprah represents is some internal idea to them....an­d was that satisfied by seeing her show?

[WillingToListen]

I still don't get it: Why don't you just ASK your mother-in-law & sister-in-law if they got everything they wanted out of it? Then tell us, of course.

[replyrequested]

Claire,

Please explain the following quote;

"...about 15-20% percent of the women present were African-American. The rest of the women looked just like me and my crew: white, American, middle class and educated. "

Exactly how does someone "look" educated or "look" American? How did the African American women "look?"

I look forward to your reply.

[gymbunnybee]

I agree - that was a wierd thing to say.

[dasein47]

I don't fully disagree, it could've been more precise.

But I also don't fully agree.

In the same way that she described her, her crew and the remaining 80% as "white", it was to say they were Caucasian, not of any other color or race. That one's pretty easy.

By saying they were educated, I assumed it to mean they weren't white trash and that they weren't sporting diamonds on every extremity. An educated person, to me, is someone who has a college degree (at a minimum) up to at least one doctorate. People of this social demographic tend to dress a certain way rather than another. It eliminated all the blue collar styles as well as all the rich ones.

As an American who has lived outside the US for five years, saying someone looks American most certainly resonates with me. Americans have a certain style that not even Canadians have (and usually don't want to be confused with). I pictured a mixture of women wearing various styles and colors from the fall catalog of most middle range retail stores throughout the US: from (yes) Walmart to JC Penny, Target to Macy's and other more niche-oriented fashion stores. Even as a man I've perused some of their catalogs in Sunday newspaper advertisements and, well, yes, I can imagine it. "Dressing American" brings three adjectives to my mind immediately: casual, sporty, large.

So yes, I think it's a valid description.

[Claire Bidwell Smith - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks for your comment. I'm sorry if I've offended you.

I realize that was a pretty broad generalization and I'm usually more conscientious than that. I do agree with the below commenter's break down, for the most part. I think people can definitely *look* a certain way and I think we're all prone to snap judgments.

I was mostly using the description of "white, American, middle class and educated" to describe myself and my family, and in turn remark that the majority of women there simply resembled us.

The African-American women present also appeared middle class and educated. But again those are guesses and generalizations.

I do appreciate your perspective though and if you still feel that my description is off the mark, feel free to say more.

The whole piece is really about how Oprah interests me because I think she has an ability to really transcend boundaries and inspire people. I know there are women who wouldn't vote for a black president but who would hop on a plane to see Oprah first chance they get. That was really why I was writing about the demographics of the audience. What is it about her that draws women to her across the board?

[replyrequested]

Thank you for explaining your point.

I agree that your structure was off, but it sounds like your intent was not to be demeaning. I appreciate your perspective and sincerely hope that those women who enjoy basking in Oprah's glow will also take a closer look at both presidential candidates to insure their vote goes to the person who most represents their personal goals and values. I hope the theories about closet racism and identity politics are proven wrong on November 4th. My greatest wish is that this time around, people of all backgrounds unite around a common goal to take America out of the hands of the goood oil boys and back into the hands of the people who defend, serve and treasure ALL Americans.

I will vote Obama/Biden and urge all women black, white or otherwise to closely examine the policies, intent and history of both candidates so that their decision is based on stated policies and not surface qualities.

Thanks for explaining your intent. Good luck with your writing!

[Nommo]

Conscientious? I have noticed, being around just a bit, that white Americans seem to always remind themselves and any within listening notice that they are "educated". Is it an excuse? Is it an attempt to make a separation? Did that 15 - 20% appear to be uneducated? Did any of that 15 -20% get any of the choice seats? Was there any interaction between the 15 - 20% and the remaining 80 -85% percent or did education or lack thereof get in the way?

Further, would the experience have been more gratifying if the guest were of the order of a Brad Pitt rather than one of the earth's most annoying individuals? Any guesses on his education?

Finally, does education confer civility, compassion or the ability not to lie so that say, for example, one does not endorse the wholesale destruction of the world's other peoples and their civilizations? I'm certain that everyone of the individuals involved in making those decisions was educated. At a fine institution no less, and likely without ever having read Dr. Goffman precisely on the presentation of self. In everyday life that is.
Makes for an interesting pursuit, no? The intrusion of Oprah in everyday life or what more education do you need?