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Clare Winterton

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Jessica Simpson and the Acceptable 'Shape' of Modern Motherhood

Posted: 05/02/2012 6:43 pm

Today, as Jessica Simpson celebrates the birth of a healthy 9 lb, 13 oz baby, the media is already salivating about her post-baby weight-loss regime. There is speculation that she will enroll as a Weight Watchers ambassador and rumors about the identity of the de rigueur personal trainer who will coax her 'back into shape.' Amidst all the frenzied speculation, it's time to pause and ask where our obsession with eradicating the physical evidence of pregnancy and birth has come from, and whether there might even be another way to see -- and even value -- the bodily changes that child-bearing brings.

At the International Museum of Women we asked women all over the world to tell us about their experiences of pregnancy and birth -- and the changes in their bodies that accompany motherhood. The results were striking. In particular, there is one film we are currently exhibiting that Jessica should really see before she embarks upon the post-baby regime the world is so anxious to foist upon her.

That film is called "Birth-markings." Created by film director Margaret Lazarus, Birth-markings is a bold an ambitious film that catalogues the bodily changes motherhood brings to mothers of all ages, classes and races.

To women reared on a diet of post baby celebrity bodies, the film is almost shocking. Women celebrate their bare flesh -- and particularly their bare stomachs. The camera dwells on a succession of bellies -- complete with extra flesh and stretch marks -- as the women narrate their feelings about their bodies and the stories they tell about their hopes, fears and experiences, and above all their identity as mothers.

Women confess their feelings of discomfort and insecurity about their changing bodies and their realization that the 'perfect, taut stomach' of a pre-pregnancy teenage girl is an expectation and a standard that they can no longer achieve. However, on the other side of these fears and realizations something remarkable happens. The women discover and own the beauty in their post partum bodies.

It is a striking and moving film, and -- contrary to what we have been conditioned to expect -- the women's bodies, bellies and stretch marks acquire an aura of true beauty. The contours and ripples of the women's bodies and stretch marks are a poignant echo of lives changed, hopes fulfilled and the vitality of life itself.

One woman reveals that her scars and stretch marks have become 'her badge of motherhood' and that she wears them as proudly as a man might wear his battle scars. Another says, "[My belly] isn't un-marked and perfect -- it looks like something happened here. It's dynamic -- it's creation!" Each woman articulates how her body has been enhanced by the experience of something that is simultaneously so "ordinary and so sacred."

Lazarus's film is so provocative and so eye-opening because it gives us a template for valuing ourselves and our postpartum bellies as they really are -- healthy, but unvarnished, un-air-brushed and without the intervention of cosmetic surgery. Our bellies are our mementos of our most meaningful experiences and of our narratives as mothers -- and they are beautiful.

As Jessica Simpson contemplates her months ahead and the joyful life that is opening up for her as the mother of her daughter Maxwell, my wish for her is that -- amidst the media expectations and bombardment -- she feels confidence and pride in her changed body and belly, and the story that they tell about her new life as a mom.


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"BirthMarkings" by Margaret Lazarus is on display as part of the International Museum of Women's current online exhibition, MAMA: Motherhood Around the Globe.

 

Follow Clare Winterton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/imowomen

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Today, as Jessica Simpson celebrates the birth of a healthy 9 lb, 13 oz baby, the media is already salivating about her post-baby weight-loss regime. There is speculation that she will enroll as a Wei...
Today, as Jessica Simpson celebrates the birth of a healthy 9 lb, 13 oz baby, the media is already salivating about her post-baby weight-loss regime. There is speculation that she will enroll as a Wei...
 
 
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10:56 PM on 05/09/2012
This is fantastic! I've been a mama for five months tomorrow. I too have a complex relationship with my new belly. But what I struggled with the most is the lack of images of marked bellies in magazines, documentaries, photography studios and doctors offices. I only gained 31 lbs while pregnant with my daughter, yet I started getting stretch marks at the end of the seventh month. My doctors office and my midwive's office were adorned with beautiful photographs of blissful pregnant women, NONE of which had a single stretch mark (and all of which were particularly slim). The waiting room was a succubus of self confidence for any woman without a smooth belly having to sit for an hour with nothing else to look at. I didn't bring it up, but now, upon reflecting on the situation, I'm going to. I'm so happy to see some women like me!! Really, I'm elated. Thank you for covering this, and thank you to the makers of such a needed short film. There should be a lot more media like this.
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dougdammit
09:46 PM on 05/04/2012
The words "stretch marks" angers me when referring to marks left by pregnancy. Both men and women have the most distorted view of them being unattractive. In my opinion they should be called "miracle marks" and viewed as: "this one resulted from making a finger, this one from a knee, this one from making an eye, this one from a nose..........etc.". I damn sure am disappointed in men who don't realize this, but really, I'm even more disappointed in women - who should be damn proud of what the can do. Us guys can't, we sacrifice very little to make a baby...you ladies accomplish soooooo much. If you can't be proud of yourself for that? I am proud of you and darn thankful.
06:05 PM on 05/04/2012
Thank you to both Margaret Lazarus for making this beautiful video and to Clare Winterton for bringing it to my attention! Truly an inspiring piece for any woman battling the thoughts and fears of her post-baby body.

I have seen some unfortunate comments in this forum- mostly supportive, but a few unfortunate. And I will agree from experience, it's not easy. I loved my 26 year old, size 4, pre-baby body. During my pregnancy I ate healthy, exercised, did yoga, etc. But, I have hypothyroidism and although under control, I gained 68 pounds- not water weight! After my perfect 8lb 8 ounce son was born, I resumed my exercise regime, worked-out with a personal trainer, ate healthy, breast fed, even starting training for a Tough-Mudder competition with my husband. But, never could quite drop all of the weight, especially that pesky belly. I eventually came to grips with my new size 10 clothes but now pregnant with our second child, I just can’t seem to shake the dread and anxiety I feel about my body. Three months along, I am already very much showing and I hate it! I should be excited. Although we conceived a little faster than anticipated, we want another child. After all, our son is amazing! But, I can’t help but obsesses over my already self-conscience image.

Today was the first time I felt proud of my body in over 2 years. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
07:28 PM on 05/08/2012
Don't agonize over your body just yet. I gave birth 3 times in a little over 4 years. Having 3 babies (2 toddlers and an infant) kept me so busy I had little time to do more than care for them and you will see with 2 little ones it is the same. I had given up on regaining my pre-pregnancy body but in about 5 years I was actually smaller than I was before giving birth, a size 6 now. When I stopped stressing over it and kept busy, I didn't even do any special exercises, the weight came off. The stretch marks fade but don't disappear but there's always a tummy tuck if you want it when your family is complete. I didn't. I'm OK with me now :)
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Antidiot
05:30 PM on 05/04/2012
Ok that's a nice film and I have to agree that while many of us want to do the best we can to minimize our flaws, perfection is NOT the same thing as beauty (and it isn't even reasonable to aspire to). But why pick on Jessica Simpson? For all we know, she may have come through without a single stretch mark and might look great sporting her bikini a month or two from now, especially if she breastfeeds. Many women (even us poor ones) do- and she just had the baby like a day or two ago.
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sweetjudi1
04:44 PM on 05/04/2012
The point is ladies don't worry about strech marks just be thankful to have a healthy baby.
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sweetjudi1
04:40 PM on 05/04/2012
I have four children but no stretch marks guess i am lucky
04:14 PM on 05/04/2012
Ew. Another reason I do not want kids.
02:35 PM on 05/04/2012
i have 3 kids and am 39 and i do not think having a big belly post pregnancy is a badge of honor,i want to stay fit and healthy for my kids and having a "beer" belly is not included in that package,so i work out and eat healthy and have actually gotten rid of my belly,the stretch marks are not so bad once the belly goes.
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gloriaswanson43
Ask and you will get more info.
03:34 PM on 05/04/2012
The women in the video do not have "beer" bellies. They have bellies. That's it. If having a belly bothers you personally then by all means work out, exercize and eat right....specifically to rid yourself of that unsightly belly. For me personally: exercize, eat healthy and work out for your health...period...but if you've had 3 kids? You've earned that belly.
04:28 PM on 05/04/2012
No matter how hard they try, some people, like myself can't get rid of the "belly." I am not fat, but do have stretch marks and you can clearly see what I call my "pouch" which I cannot fully lose because of my c-section scar. People, like myself, can be healthy and in shape, even if they still have "signs" that they have had children. So, that "BEER BELLY" you are talking about doesn't mean we arent as fit and healthy as you.
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BBackSoon
Hello, I must be going.
10:01 AM on 05/04/2012
As a man, I think it is unrealistic to think mothers should have the bodies of teenagers.

And personally it is the scars, blemishes and dare I say stretch marks that show proof of a life lived.

Women are beautiful, and I have said since my early 30's 'Yes that is a good looking girl, tell me if you see her mother!'
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jacmed
72, female - whatever happened to common sense?
06:01 PM on 05/04/2012
Wow, BBackSoon! I was lucky, I found a man who thinks just like you do. Unfortunately, there aren't too many men out there like you - would you agree to be cloned?
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Violeta
12:29 AM on 05/05/2012
this is why sex is mostly in "the brain" - it's not that men and women don't "see" the "bodies," it's that we can see so much beyond them. how much is a bit like the stages of cognitive development theorized by piaget; we can't really understand the future phase but we can understand the past ones. i think men are the same - i feel really, really bad for men who are otherwise "intellectually" mature but still feel guilty for "liking" some of the "younger" stuff - it's okay... we're "built" that way or else we wouldn't be here. but then, then there are the more "mature" types who get what it's all about in this day and age where we live to have multiple children and we do experience many seasons of life... when men do get that the "span" of womanhood is sexy, then I really give it to 'em. I mean, you know, it's one thing to like what you like, no problem, but it's another to like in context, to be able to relish what's in different corners and at different times... that's more rare in men and i appreciate it
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MissFrijole
My bite is worse than my bark.
09:46 AM on 05/04/2012
I haven't had kids yet, but one of my concerns is stretch marks and becoming an odd body shape. Even if I did embrace my imperfections, it's not like I could go to the beach in a bikini anymore. I would be too self-conscious about my body. Even a one piece would seem too revealing. I think it is wrong, though, to expect a woman who just gave birth to jump right back on that treadmill and shun her extra skin. Some maintenance and a healthy lifestyle should be good enough.
03:10 PM on 05/04/2012
Not everybody automatically gets stretch marks. I never had any at all. Most do not get the marks as bad as shown in those photos either. If you want children, please don't let this stop you.
09:28 PM on 05/04/2012
I agree. 4 children and no strech marks. Every one is different. Love who you are and never mind the other person.
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Violeta
12:32 AM on 05/05/2012
Let me get this straight - you are afraid, as a woman, that having a CHILD will make you "an odd body shape." My dear, an ODD body shape is the LAST thing a woman should worry about becoming from giving childbirth... I haven't had kids either but come on!
09:06 AM on 05/04/2012
I LOVE those pictures and WISH MY stomach looked just a good as theres! I look like I gave birth to 4 babies instead of just 2! RIGHT ON WOMEN!
08:29 AM on 05/04/2012
It's fine and good to have good self-esteem. BUT, as a physician specializing in medical problems in pregnancy, I can't help but cringe when I see the excessive weight gain during Ms. Simpson's pregnancy and the unfortunate result--an obese child at risk for a lifetime of medical problems.

Excessive weight gain increases the risk of many complications of pregnancy, such as gestational diabetes, hypertensive disorders of pregnancy, blood clots, excessive bleeding, infection and death. The rate of pregnancy-related death has doubled in the past 25 years, directly paralleling the increase in obesity in the U.S.

Moreover, excessive weight gain during pregnancy nearly doubles the risk of large-for-gestational age babies. This is a problem because these obese babies have a higher risk of childhood and adult obesity and associated problems, such as diabetes and hypertension.

Obesity during pregnancy is a serious public health concern; it shouldn't be promoted or encouraged.
11:41 AM on 05/04/2012
she only gained 40 lbs. as a physician you should know that although on the higher side...that is a fine weight gain for pregnancy.
12:26 PM on 05/04/2012
Well, doctor, not all weight gain in pregnancy is do to overeating. Edema can cause I great deal of weight gain. I gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy, 30 of which was water weight they came off one week after delivery. And for the record, my daughter weighed less 7 pounds 11 ounces. Some people gaine 20 pounds during pregnancy and can have a 9 pound child. You should know this, being a doctor.
09:30 PM on 05/04/2012
I sure would not want him for my doctor. He needs to go back to school and catch up.
08:23 AM on 05/04/2012
Ladies, what is - IS! I've had 6 full term babies over a 20 year spread. The last 3 in 1988, 1989, 1990. I'm 60 now & I have not a single stretch mark & a perfectly flat stomach, 23 1/2 inch waist. I'm a small person, just 5 feet tall & 90 pounds & I didn't do anything special. Genetics - genetics - genetics. I also spent much of my teen & adult life looking alot younger then I actually was. I didn't get crowsfeet around my eyes until my 50's. Genetics let me inherit exceptionally good skin elasticity & also thick ankles & bumpy knees, an overbite, ears that stick out ect. Oh yeah - my family DOES suffer from a propensity to develop hemorrhoids ....sigh.... So 6 kids later I wear belts & size 0/1 clothes & often sit VERY, VERY carefully. I think I might rather have the stretch marks.
02:56 PM on 05/04/2012
oh shut up!!! lol
08:35 AM on 05/05/2012
LOL Genetics givith & genetics taketh away as well. Funny story here. I once many years ago had a Fredericks of Hollywood catalog so, in a moment of boredom, I decided to figure out my bust size exactly using their ever so detailed mathamatical formula. After following directions TWICE it would appear that, according to Mr. Frederick, I have a negative bust.... really...seriously....cross my heart (which is easy to do if you have no boob in the way...) Haaahahahaaaaahahahaa............. poor me!
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Paige Keith
Snarkasm at it's Finest
09:25 PM on 05/04/2012
I agree with you about the genetics. I am about 10 years younger than you but have a similar build and few lines or wrinkles, but I only had 2 full term babies and got LOTS of stretch marks. I also gained about 50 lbs. with each baby and they were both over 8 lbs. each, but if anything, they are both now considered to be thinner than normal.
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Debbie Best
07:32 AM on 05/04/2012
Geez, Jessica just had an almost 10 lb baby! How about the media cut her some slack here!
07:13 AM on 05/04/2012
I agree with the message that a post-partum body should be considered normal, but why do we feel we have to look at it to know it is OK? I honestly do not feel the need to see pictures or a film about women's stretch marks. As a middle-aged mother of 3, a healthy discussion minus the voyeurism is fine with me. What kind of society have we created where we expect to see so much flesh and nothing is private?
11:46 AM on 05/04/2012
we can talk about it all we want...however pictures show girls of the extensiveness of the marks and that its something they can relate to in that time when they are feeling less than beautiful. If it offends you, don't look. Pretty simple
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Freedom Mama
Proud to be an American
01:07 PM on 05/04/2012
The point it that society has given women a completely unrealistic expectation of what they should look like after giving birth. It is comforting for women to realize thay are NORMAL. On the other hand, if we didn't have all the pictures everywhere of "perfect" bikini bodies months after giving birth fueling women's insecurities, we migght not have need for documentaries like this one.