I'm Sorry For Creating You Newt

As you may know, Gingrich has a long history of blaming liberals for heinous acts, and just like the past, this time he's been made to the look like the obtuse loser that he is.
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So as many people know, former House Speaker and last remaining member of the philosophers, Newt Gingrich, was trying to explicitly blame liberals for what happened at Virginia Tech, because for some reason we don't think Somalia-like gun access and eliminating the First Amendment are the answer to tragedies like these. We have more, how should I say it, lucid ideas.

As you may know, Gingrich has a long history of blaming liberals for heinous acts, not surprising when you understand the conservative mind, and just like the past, this time he's been made to the look like the obtuse loser that he is.

"I want to say to the elite of this country - the elite news media,the liberal academic elite, the liberal political elite: I accuse you in Littleton, and I accuse you in Kosovo of being afraid to talk about the mess you have made, and being afraid to take responsibility for things you have done, and instead foisting upon the rest of us pathetic banalities because you don't have the courage to look at the world you have created."

- In 1994, after Susan Smith confessed to drowning her two children in South Carolina, Gingrich quickly blamed liberals, saying the only way to avoid similar future incidents was "to vote Republican."

- After former Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) was forced to resign over his sexually inappropriate behavior towards House pages, Gingrich declared that conservatives didn't act to stop Foley because they "would have been accused of gay bashing" by liberals.

- At the Conservative Political Action Conference earlier this year, Gingrich blamed the residents of New Orleans' 9th ward for "a failure of citizenship," by being "so uneducated and so unprepared, they literally couldn't get out of the way of a hurricane."

I'd like to add to Gingrich's list because he makes so much sense. It must also be our fault that Newt Gigrich is, well, Newt Gingrich (and Rick Renzi and John Doolittle, but I digress).

Surely we did something wrong (this is my fault too by the way) so that he became such a degenerate as to serve his first wife with divorce papers while she was in the hospital being treated for cancer? And I can only guess that we are fault for the fact that he became a self-righteous scumbag, trying to impeach President Clinton by day while carrying on his own sordid affair with a Capitol Hill aide by night, before he dumped his second wife for her.

Furthermore, we must also be responsible for making him break the law and use GOPAC as his own personal "slush fund." Yes, the fact that you Newt, are a sleazy, slimy, scummy, fat-assed, philandering criminal must be due to liberalism.

I see the light now. And I humbly apologize.

For more on this and other stories, go to cliffschecter.com.

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