According to GOD: "It is not okay to use religion to justify personal bigotry. I am the LORD and I love LGBT people very much. Why else would so many LGBT people exist?"
You eat things like brussel sprouts... AND ENJOY THEM. I love them roasted with a little bit of oil and salt. I never would have given them a second thought if I was younger.
No, Channing Tatum has never broken into The White House. At least not to my knowledge. Well, okay, he may have, I really don't know. The investigation is still ongoing, so I'll say that he could have, but probably didn't.
If the object of sex is producing offspring, then it is perfectly fine for this activity to occur in a driveway. In this case, it is also fine to advertise the event as "driveway breeding."
It was reported that Omar Jose Gonzalez had actually made it all the way to the East Room with a knife in his pocket--something that would have been prevented if the Secret Service had put one of those accordion children's gates across the entranceway to that wing of the sacred redoubt.
Is there anything worse than learning an ex has moved uncomfortably close to your neighborhood or office? Sure, cancer, starvation, paper cuts: all bad. But knowing the inopportunity to cross paths with someone from your past, especially when you're unprepared: the worst.
Cirque Du Soleil,
I have a pair of strappy sandals that to put on requires a contortionist's skill. It involves sitting down, bending over, hinging a knee sideways and pulling an extreme foot-flex move, all the while straining my optic nerves to see beyond their peripheral...
Take advantage of the #1 rule of air travel: no matter what time it is, it's always acceptable to drink.
Parenting Milestones You Should Laugh And Not Cry About,
If any milestone is deserving of a page in a scrapbook, it's the first time a parent sleeps for more than seven consecutive hours, whether that happens at night in a bed or face down in an office.
Old Farmer's Almanac,
By Jerry Zezima The late, great humorist Erma Bombeck once said, "Housework, if you do it right, can kill you." Since I am still alive, thanks to my wife, Sue, who does most of the housework in our house, I guess I am not doing it right. This does not...
I am tired of having my heart broken online. I'm referring to the never-ending barrage of videos, photos and blog posts that permeate my inbox or social media accounts daily, inviting me to click despite the generic warning: "What happens next is heartbreaking."
Sony Online Entertainment,
I'm stuck in a metal box 10,000 feet in the sky and there might be a bomb under my seat. I'm somewhat surprised I'm not freaking out. I'm not sweating. There's pride in that. I would've pegged myself for more of a pants-wetter in crisis situations.
I'm going to make organic, non-GMO, fresh, wholesome lunches made of laughter and angel eyebrows every night. None of this buying school lunch bullshit. We'll leave that to the kids whose parents don't really love them.
I've remarked at how many people I overhear at open houses doing linguistic backflips in order to gather the crucial demographic info they need from a real estate agent while trying not to sound like a total xenophobic monster. It's a pretty amusing thing to behold, especially when I'm also in the room -- presumably judging them.
So you emailed him, but it was casual and pertinent: "Hey, I found your Frisbee in the back of my closet. If you need it I can mail it or something. Hope you're doing well." Yeah, that was pathetic. Now what are you doing? Refreshing your inbox? Waiting for his response?
I convinced myself that it would be better to die alone in the dressing room than to die of embarrassment by having to ask someone at Goodwill to come into my dressing room and help get me out of this dress-of-death. So I went to my happy place.
So what would a Bollywood movie set on Mars be like? Pretty much what most earth-bound Bollywood movies are like (although to be fair, the industry has come a long way), and it goes something like this.
Kanye West has opened my eyes and there is no going back. The two experiences are exactly, exactly the same. In Hollywood you have gifting sweets, million dollar deals, access, social capital, hedonism, wealth and more -- AKA the same thing Blacks dealt with in the '60s. Agreed, Mr. West! Agreed!