The first ever marijuana café in America opened last week. That doesn't surprise me. What shocks me is that it's in Portland, Oregon. That would be like opening a Mormon bookstore in Salt Lake City. Weird, right? The place is called The Cannabis Café, which I must say I...

Thanksgiving is a time of family. A time of reflection. A time of giving. And a time of stuffing. It is a time when a man or woman, sometimes a slightly intoxicated man or woman, crams their butter-coated hand into a turkey's butt. If this act were to be done...

This past week women learned from a task force (consisting of no doctors) that those under the age of 50 should hold off on getting mammograms. 

An unrelated finding, this from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, is that pap test screenings are best postponed until after the age of...

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - As the health care reform bill makes its way through the U.S. Senate, Sen. Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.) said today that he was "actively exploring" new ways to be as big a dick as humanly possible.

For Sen. Lieberman, whose reputation for assholic behavior is legendary,...

The Twilight Saga: New Moon opened last night, and already swarms of movie goers have packed theaters to see the continuing saga of vampires, werewolves and emo teens.

However, those who have witnessed the film, have not seen the entire story.

In this exclusive deleted scene, the character of...

It appears family values beauty queen Carrie Prejean has been churning out sex tapes the way Krispy Kreme churns out honey glazed doughnuts. We are shocked, shocked we tell you. But that's only the beginning of the shocking news eSarcasm has uncovered.

First, the videos: Forensic video investigators have...

Further proving that there is no recognition in our modern society quite like viral video success, Dancing With the Stars' leading contender Donny Osmond is still making funny short videos. Here, comic Geoff Bolt and his son Chandler try to sell Donny on an opening act.

I've been struggling with the idea of "balance" in news.  There is fact, and there is spin.  There is truth, and there is fiction.  But when the mainstream media covers something - showing both sides, paints the picture that everything is 50/50 when there are certain things that are not -...

First published at washingtontimes.com

Apparently, we were warned. The world will come to an end on Dec. 21, 2012.

We know this because a new movie points out that's when the Mayan calendar ends.

I don't know about you, but that's not much of a "warning" to me.

The Mayans...

Holy autoeroticism! She made 7 of them? She must do it religiously!

If you enjoy political satire blended with low comedy and general bad attitude, please check out more of my webseries Doug's...

Sarah Palin in a bottle? You betcha!

Get ready to inhale Eau de Maverick, a designer fragrance based on the opening paragraph of Palin's new book, "Going Rogue," which reads: "I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with rugged...

I'll Read When I'm Dead.

"Michelin has gone to extraordinary lengths to maintain the anonymity of it inspectors. Many of the company's top executives have never met an inspector; inspectors themselves are advised not to disclose their line of work, even to their parents." -The New Yorker

Arrived home from my "business...

The Sarah Palin book-tour-apalooza kept trucking along this week. After rogue interviews with Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters, Sarah took to the airwaves with a man who not only liked her book, but called it

One of the most substantive policy books I've read

And that is no...

OK, I'll admit it -- I'm one of those romantics who believes that my soul mate is out there someplace. I just hope she's in the Los Angeles area, because if she's in Kentucky or Argentina, the dating commute is going to grow old...

Half listening to the Sunday talk show clap trap, I thought I misheard Hillary Clinton when she said she had not yet met Sarah Palin, but wouldn't mind chatting with her over a cup of coffee. I couldn't believe these two pivotal political women weren’t personally acquainted, but then...

NEW WORD: Republizombie (re-PUB-li-zom-bee) (n) 1. Former GOP office-holder, now undead, unkillable; see Palin, S.; Cheney, D; Delay, T.; Armey, D.; Gingrich, N. A flesh-eater, the Republizombie counter-intuitively eats the flesh of other GOP; see 23rd Congressional District, NY. 2. Former relative of a former GOP office-holder, such as the...