iOS app Android app More

Kipp Friedman


I Deleted U2's 'Songs of Innocence' Album Only to Find It Implanted in My Brain!

Kipp Friedman | September 17, 2014 | Comedy
After a sleepless night with U2 songs ringing in my ears, not knowing what to do, I contacted Apple customer service. But when I mentioned the phenomenon, they were not helpful, instead directing me to their website.
Chris Michael


Al Qaeda Struggles to Look Cool Next to Rockstar ISIS

Chris Michael | September 17, 2014 | Comedy
After dominating international headlines for more than a decade, al-Qaeda is struggling to remain relevant to a new generation of rosy-cheeked, fundamentalist jihadis smitten with ISIS.
Clif Dickens

17 Slogans That Frankly Make More Sense Than the Real Ones, Pt. 6

Clif Dickens | September 17, 2014 | Business
It's that time of year once again, when women become obsessed with pumpkin spice lattes and men start downing amber ales in front of a campfire. Fall is fast approaching, and what better time than now to share a few more Honest Slogans?
Renee Fisher


Older, Faster, Tougher

Renee Fisher | September 17, 2014 | Fifty
LBL was reminded that the last time, she, herself, was in such a panting, sweaty state was in 1968 and she was backstage at the Newport Folk Festival, in a van with one of the members of the sound crew.
Greg Schwem


When Sarah Palin's Fighting, Somebody Should Be Filming

Greg Schwem | September 17, 2014 | Comedy
Does anybody in Alaska own a video camera? How about a video-equipped cell phone? Anyone? Anyone? I ask only because it's been almost two weeks and I have yet to see visual evidence of the alleged Palin family party brawl that occurred earlier this month.
Alex Madda


Getting Boys to Date (and Then Hate) You

Alex Madda | September 17, 2014 | Comedy
Alright ladies! The secret to getting the fellas interested and then creeped out and then interested again in less than 24 hours is in. And I've got it down to a science.
Marcia Liss


Preparation Facetime

Marcia Liss | September 17, 2014 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima


"Wrong Turn on Red"

Jerry Zezima | September 17, 2014 | Comedy
By Jerry Zezima In their chart-topping 1965 hit, "Turn! Turn! Turn!," the Byrds sang, "To everything, turn, turn, turn." To which they might have added: "Except if you make an illegal turn, turn, turn." In which case you'll end up in traffic court. That's where I found myself recently after...
Gina Barreca


20 Worst Things to Say On a First Date

Gina Barreca | September 17, 2014 | Comedy
I'm returning this text from my college buddy because he's such a loser that he'll just keep texting me until I do. He'll only pull my chain if I tell him I'm on a date. Gimme a minute. Here's a five. Get us a couple of drinks.
Kim Bongiorno


How to Get Your Kids to Bed in a Few (Dozen) Easy Steps

Kim Bongiorno | September 16, 2014 | Parents
All it takes is a practiced routine, a few (dozen) simple steps, and the patience of a saint to guide your kids to a night of dreamy splendor.
Spencer Green


Democrats Will Place President Obama In Suspended Animation Through 2014 Midterm Elections

Spencer Green | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
The process of placing the President in suspended animation will involve a metal compound made of carbon and tibanna gas used to smuggle items or transport people across the galaxy.
Kerry O'Brien


My Amazing Facebook Vacation

Kerry O'Brien | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Although it was a magical experience, there are a few things I would do differently on my next Facebook vacation. Here are some tips if you're about to embark on the journey.
Julie Meyer Taylor


The 7 Emotional Stages of a Sleepover Birthday Party

Julie Meyer Taylor | September 16, 2014 | Parents
After a 30-minute-car ride of listening to poop and butt jokes, you arrive at the laser tag arena. Dread begins to fill your heart, as the attendant has just informed you that there is NO ROOM for your party of 13. Your palms begin to sweat.
Seriously Skewed


In Stunning Twist, England Leaves United Kingdom Instead of Scotland!

Seriously Skewed | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
It is rumored that the British were forced to make this sudden decision when the Scots threatened to invade England wearing nothing but kilts -- and more disturbingly -- no underwear.
Steven Shehori


Say Hello to Canada's Funniest Comedian

Steven Shehori | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Comedy isn't like baseball: there are few empirical statistics from which to derive talent, performance, and yep, even pay scales. This all said, it's of my strong opinion that Toronto's Alex Nussbaum is Canada's funniest comedian.
Tarja Parssinen


So, Your Son Is In Preschool

Tarja Parssinen | September 16, 2014 | Parents
After the Time of Potty, he washed his hands and his clothes and the floor and those around him. And then poopeth he did go. Not on the potty, but behind the potted plant. Because it was safe. And they sighed deeply and whispered the Prayer of the Pull-Up.
Greg Mania

In the Future Everyone Will Own a Free U2 Album for 15 Minutes

Greg Mania | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Now that you've deleted it let's stop focusing on trivial matters like what band bulldozes their way onto our playlists, and start focusing on the things that do matter -- like what could possibly be keeping Gwen Stefani from aging.
Tom Falco


You Too? U2 Ends Up in Your Song Rotation

Tom Falco | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Kiley Roache

9 Steps of Cleaning Out Your Room

Kiley Roache | September 16, 2014 | Teen
You'll wanna start with boy band pop because you're a happy bubbly person who's gonna have a clean desk, but you'll end up blasting "Welcome to the Black Parade" as you lie among the desolate piles old paper clips, driver's ed paperwork and illegible to-do lists from 2006.
Nancy Ruhling


Astoria Characters: The Stand-Up Man

Nancy Ruhling | September 16, 2014 | New York
This is no joke. The pancakes are damn good. Tom Daddario had wondered whether he should make them. As a stand-up comic, he's obsessed with getting the last laugh.
All posts from 09.17.2014 < 09.16.2014