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Matthew Diffee

BIO

Naming America's First Marijuana Cafe

Matthew Diffee | Posted November 20, 2009 | Comedy


The first ever marijuana café in America opened last week. That doesn't surprise me. What shocks me is that it's in Portland, Oregon. That would be like opening a Mormon bookstore in Salt Lake City. Weird, right? The place is called The Cannabis Café, which I must say I...

Bob Saget

BIO

Why I Love Thanksgiving

Bob Saget | Posted November 20, 2009 | Comedy


Thanksgiving is a time of family. A time of reflection. A time of giving. And a time of stuffing. It is a time when a man or woman, sometimes a slightly intoxicated man or woman, crams their butter-coated hand into a turkey's butt. If this act were to be done...

Sybil Adelman Sage

BIO

Advice to Women: You're Better off Without Medical Care

Sybil Adelman Sage | Posted November 20, 2009 | Comedy


Read More: Mammograms, Pap Tests

This past week women learned from a task force (consisting of no doctors) that those under the age of 50 should hold off on getting mammograms. 

An unrelated finding, this from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, is that pap test screenings are best postponed until after the age of...

Andy Borowitz

BIO

Lieberman Exploring New Ways to Be a Dick

Andy Borowitz | Posted November 20, 2009 | Comedy


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - As the health care reform bill makes its way through the U.S. Senate, Sen. Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.) said today that he was "actively exploring" new ways to be as big a dick as humanly possible.

For Sen. Lieberman, whose reputation for assholic behavior is legendary,...

Matthew Filipowicz

BIO

Twilight: New Moon Werewolf Denied Health Care

Matthew Filipowicz | Posted November 20, 2009 | Comedy


The Twilight Saga: New Moon opened last night, and already swarms of movie goers have packed theaters to see the continuing saga of vampires, werewolves and emo teens.

However, those who have witnessed the film, have not seen the entire story.

In this exclusive deleted scene, the character of...

Robert J. Elisberg

BIO

Moose and Squirrel Celebrate Their 50th Anniversary

Robert J. Elisberg | Posted November 20, 2009 | Entertainment


This will be unreasonably brief and lacking in far too much detail, but sometimes things must be rushed and not overlooked, and today is one of those times. Today marks the 50th anniversary of one of the most beloved and still-appreciated cartoon shows, ever.

Yes, on November 19, 1959,...

eSarcasm

BIO

2024: Carrie Prejean for President

eSarcasm | Posted November 19, 2009 | Comedy


It appears family values beauty queen Carrie Prejean has been churning out sex tapes the way Krispy Kreme churns out honey glazed doughnuts. We are shocked, shocked we tell you. But that's only the beginning of the shocking news eSarcasm has uncovered.

First, the videos: Forensic video investigators have...

John Wellington Ennis

BIO

Donny Osmond Gets a New Opening Act

John Wellington Ennis | Posted November 19, 2009 | Comedy


Further proving that there is no recognition in our modern society quite like viral video success, Dancing With the Stars' leading contender Donny Osmond is still making funny short videos. Here, comic Geoff Bolt and his son Chandler try to sell Donny on an opening act.

Steve Marmel

BIO

Palin/Beck In 2012? Hell, Yes!

Steve Marmel | Posted November 20, 2009 | Comedy


I've been struggling with the idea of "balance" in news.  There is fact, and there is spin.  There is truth, and there is fiction.  But when the mainstream media covers something - showing both sides, paints the picture that everything is 50/50 when there are certain things that are not -...

Carleton Bryant

BIO

End of the world? Not on my watch!

Carleton Bryant | Posted November 19, 2009 | Comedy


First published at washingtontimes.com

Apparently, we were warned. The world will come to an end on Dec. 21, 2012.

We know this because a new movie points out that's when the Mayan calendar ends.

I don't know about you, but that's not much of a "warning" to me.

The Mayans...

Doug Molitor

BIO

12 Titles For Carrie Prejean's Sex Tapes

Doug Molitor | Posted November 20, 2009 | Comedy


Read More: Carrie Prejean

Holy autoeroticism! She made 7 of them? She must do it religiously!


If you enjoy political satire blended with low comedy and general bad attitude, please check out more of my webseries Doug's...

Sophie Pollitt-Cohen

BIO

Porn For People Who Like Books

Sophie Pollitt-Cohen | Posted November 18, 2009 | Comedy


A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur

Boswell's Johnson

The Da Vinci Chode

I Loved, I Lost, I Blew My Neighbor

Eat, Pray, Bone

The Decline and Fall of my Previously Erect Penis

The Tell-Tale Wang

Roy Rivenburg

BIO

Scent of a Maverick -- Palin Uncorks New Perfume Inspired by Her Memoir

Roy Rivenburg | Posted November 18, 2009 | Comedy


2009-11-17-perfume.jpg
Sarah Palin in a bottle? You betcha!

Get ready to inhale Eau de Maverick, a designer fragrance based on the opening paragraph of Palin's new book, "Going Rogue," which reads: "I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with rugged...

Jeff Danziger

BIO

Levi on the Make

Jeff Danziger | Posted November 18, 2009 | Comedy


Read More: Cartoon

2009-11-18-dancart4173.jpg
I'll Read When I'm Dead.

Jilly Gagnon

BIO

Secret Michelin Man

Jilly Gagnon | Posted November 18, 2009 | Comedy


"Michelin has gone to extraordinary lengths to maintain the anonymity of it inspectors. Many of the company's top executives have never met an inspector; inspectors themselves are advised not to disclose their line of work, even to their parents." -The New Yorker
November 23,

Arrived home from my "business...

Matthew Filipowicz

BIO

Rush Limbaugh & Sarah Palin: The Extended Cut

Matthew Filipowicz | Posted November 19, 2009 | Comedy


The Sarah Palin book-tour-apalooza kept trucking along this week. After rogue interviews with Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters, Sarah took to the airwaves with a man who not only liked her book, but called it

One of the most substantive policy books I've read

And that is no...

Mort Gerberg

BIO

Out of Line: Beware

Mort Gerberg | Posted November 18, 2009 | Comedy


Read More: Cartoon

2009-11-13-16454Bewarecopy.jpg

Mark C. Miller

BIO

I Know Nothing About Finding a Soul Mate - And I'm Willing to Share It With You

Mark C. Miller | Posted November 18, 2009 | Comedy


2009-11-17-casablanca1243617906.jpg

OK, I'll admit it -- I'm one of those romantics who believes that my soul mate is out there someplace. I just hope she's in the Los Angeles area, because if she's in Kentucky or Argentina, the dating commute is going to grow old...

Leighann Lord

BIO

The Palin-Clinton Coffee Klatsch

Leighann Lord | Posted November 18, 2009 | Comedy


Half listening to the Sunday talk show clap trap, I thought I misheard Hillary Clinton when she said she had not yet met Sarah Palin, but wouldn't mind chatting with her over a cup of coffee. I couldn't believe these two pivotal political women weren’t personally acquainted, but then...

Andy Borowitz

BIO

New Word: Republizombie

Andy Borowitz | Posted November 17, 2009 | Comedy


NEW WORD: Republizombie (re-PUB-li-zom-bee) (n) 1. Former GOP office-holder, now undead, unkillable; see Palin, S.; Cheney, D; Delay, T.; Armey, D.; Gingrich, N. A flesh-eater, the Republizombie counter-intuitively eats the flesh of other GOP; see 23rd Congressional District, NY. 2. Former relative of a former GOP office-holder, such as the...

All posts from 11.20.2009 < 11.19.2009