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James Schlarmann

God Admits Telling Ted Cruz to Run for President Was a Practical Joke

James Schlarmann | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
"I was crank calling the silly f--k," God told reporters of his directive to Cruz to run, "And this crazy demagogue thinks I was serious? It was just a practical joke."
Julianna W. Miner

Anatomy of a Little League Game

Julianna W. Miner | May 5, 2016 | Parents
I thought I'd share the experience of managing three kids and a Little League game on a school night, for those of you unfamiliar with it.
Alena Dillon

What Mrs. Trump Would Have Said

Alena Dillon | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
After months and months of waiting for the punchline of this bad joke, the bad joke has gradually, painfully, come true: Donald Trump, Mr. Bombastic, reality star, full grown Oompa Loompa, is the Republican nominee. And it is likely he will be facing the first female nominee of a major...
Sarah Cooper

Apparently, Toddlers and CEOs Have a Lot in Common

Sarah Cooper | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
Check out the eerie similarities between a toddler and a CEO.
Kristin Butz

5 Catchphrases You Probably Didn't Know Were From the Show Happy Days

Kristin Butz | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
We've all heard them said in everyday conversation, but do any of you really know where these iconic catchphrases came from? We've compiled a list of the five most popular catchphrases that you probably didn't know originated from the 70s TV show Happy Days.
Will Durst

Man for All Reasons

Will Durst | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
As evidenced by his hair, Donald J. Trump is pretty much wrong all the time. Every time. About everything. Except when he isn't. One example is, should he become president, Mexico indeed will build a wall. To control our immigration. "Get me the hell out of here. Por favor?" Hell, Canada might have to build one as well. "Hey, let me in dere, ya hoser. S'il vous plait, eh?"
Randall Otis

NYC Living Is...

Randall Otis | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
Wearing headphones on full blast because that's healthier than hearing sirens and subway screeches. Wondering if the people on your train car could survive the apocalypse together if it happened above ground during your commute.
Marcia Liss

On the Menu?

Marcia Liss | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
Meredith Masony

What Moms Really Want From Their Husbands on Mother's Day (Video)

Meredith Masony | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
I have three children, one husband, and two dogs. I really just want to be left alone on Mother's day. Take a look at what I really want my husband to give me for Mother's day, you might agree.
Spencer Green

Two Evils Reconcile, Agree They're Equally Bad

Spencer Green | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
After untold centuries of antagonism, the Two Evils have formally reconciled and announced that they are, indeed, equally bad.
Stephen Bailey

Tinder V Romance

Stephen Bailey | May 4, 2016 | UK Comedy
I am a single, gay man, living in London and telling my little dick jokes for a living. What an exciting time to be alive. Anything is possible. Except when it comes to finding that someone special.... I am not afraid of dying alone - in fact, I've even rephrased it. I'll die independently.
Matthew Filipowicz

Lack of Living Wills for Too-Big-To-Fail Banks Defended By Hedge Fund Executive

Matthew Filipowicz | May 4, 2016 | Comedy
In a TMFS sketch, the lack of credible living wills for too-big-to-fail banks, including Bank Of America, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, JP Morgan Chase, is defended by a hedge fund executive.
David S. Simon

Torn and Frayed: Life in the Jean Pool

David S. Simon | May 5, 2016 | Comedy
Today I rip into jeans. I own a pair of distressed jeans and sitting here in my coffee shop, watching the rain do a giant Danny Thomas quality spit take against the window like God just got the joke, suddenly, for no apparent reason I got a flash of those...
Marcia Liss

Face Time

Marcia Liss | May 4, 2016 | Comedy
Marty Rudoy

Panic Sets in Across Canada as Citizens Fear Ted Cruz Return

Marty Rudoy | May 4, 2016 | Comedy
"It was like when they broadcast 'The War of The Worlds'" explained Ernie Butler of Edmonton, "The prospect of Cruz wrapping his tentacles around the weakest among us is too much to bear," said Butler as he scampered into the darkness clutching a sleeping bag and sack of hastily-made sandwiches.
Jamie Stangroom

Star Wars Day Explained

Jamie Stangroom | May 4, 2016 | UK Comedy
Did you know that the saying actually dates back to pre-Twitter times of 1979, and that late prime minister Margaret Thatcher is to thank for the tradition? Well, she sort of is. When she was elected on May 4, 1979, a headline in the London Evening News read, "May The Fourth Be With You, Maggie. Congratulations."
Jen Mendelsohn

What Every Mother Really Wants

Jen Mendelsohn | May 4, 2016 | Comedy
came along. With all the glories of weight gain, stretch marks and breastfeeding. The colic. The teething. The picky eater. And all before you could walk. So thanks for that hazing ritual.
Greg Schwem

I Only Hear Wedding Bells If They Ring in Alaska

Greg Schwem | May 3, 2016 | Comedy
Girls, please don't call me cheap. Call me practical. And if any last minute expenses come up, your dad will happily pay for them with a minimal amount of grumbling.
Georges Ugeux

Donald Trump sent me this message

Georges Ugeux | May 4, 2016 | Comedy
Dear Georges, [I wanted to answer your blog personally as you are questioning my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States of America. These are my original words, compiled to convince you of the contrary.] Women are one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones...
Brian Caldirola

Under the Sea

Brian Caldirola | May 3, 2016 | Comedy
All posts from 05.05.2016 < 05.04.2016