"I was crank calling the silly f--k," God told reporters of his directive to Cruz to run, "And this crazy demagogue thinks I was serious? It was just a practical joke."
I thought I'd share the experience of managing three kids and a Little League game on a school night, for those of you unfamiliar with it.
After months and months of waiting for the punchline of this bad joke, the bad joke has gradually, painfully, come true: Donald Trump, Mr. Bombastic, reality star, full grown Oompa Loompa, is the Republican nominee. And it is likely he will be facing the first female nominee of a major...
Check out the eerie similarities between a toddler and a CEO.
We've all heard them said in everyday conversation, but do any of you really know where these iconic catchphrases came from? We've compiled a list of the five most popular catchphrases that you probably didn't know originated from the 70s TV show Happy Days.
As evidenced by his hair, Donald J. Trump is pretty much wrong all the time. Every time. About everything. Except when he isn't. One example is, should he become president, Mexico indeed will build a wall. To control our immigration. "Get me the hell out of here. Por favor?" Hell, Canada might have to build one as well. "Hey, let me in dere, ya hoser. S'il vous plait, eh?"
Wearing headphones on full blast because that's healthier than hearing sirens and subway screeches. Wondering if the people on your train car could survive the apocalypse together if it happened above ground during your commute.
I have three children, one husband, and two dogs. I really just want to be left alone on Mother's day. Take a look at what I really want my husband to give me for Mother's day, you might agree.
After untold centuries of antagonism, the Two Evils have formally reconciled and announced that they are, indeed, equally bad.
I am a single, gay man, living in London and telling my little dick jokes for a living. What an exciting time to be alive. Anything is possible. Except when it comes to finding that someone special.... I am not afraid of dying alone - in fact, I've even rephrased it. I'll die independently.
Too Big To Fail,
Bank Living Wills,
Comedy And Satire,
Too Big To Fail Banks,
In a TMFS sketch, the lack of credible living wills for too-big-to-fail banks, including Bank Of America, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, JP Morgan Chase, is defended by a hedge fund executive.
Today I rip into jeans. I own a pair of distressed jeans and sitting here in my coffee shop, watching the rain do a giant Danny Thomas quality spit take against the window like God just got the joke, suddenly, for no apparent reason I got a flash of those...
"It was like when they broadcast 'The War of The Worlds'" explained Ernie Butler of Edmonton, "The prospect of Cruz wrapping his tentacles around the weakest among us is too much to bear," said Butler as he scampered into the darkness clutching a sleeping bag and sack of hastily-made sandwiches.
Did you know that the saying actually dates back to pre-Twitter times of 1979, and that late prime minister Margaret Thatcher is to thank for the tradition? Well, she sort of is. When she was elected on May 4, 1979, a headline in the London Evening News read, "May The Fourth Be With You, Maggie. Congratulations."
came along. With all the glories of weight gain, stretch marks and breastfeeding. The colic. The teething. The picky eater. And all before you could walk. So thanks for that hazing ritual.
Girls, please don't call me cheap. Call me practical. And if any last minute expenses come up, your dad will happily pay for them with a minimal amount of grumbling.
Dear Georges, [I wanted to answer your blog personally as you are questioning my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States of America. These are my original words, compiled to convince you of the contrary.] Women are one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones...