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Jerry Zezima

BIO

"Wrong Turn on Red"

Jerry Zezima | September 17, 2014 | Comedy
By Jerry Zezima In their chart-topping 1965 hit, "Turn! Turn! Turn!," the Byrds sang, "To everything, turn, turn, turn." To which they might have added: "Except if you make an illegal turn, turn, turn." In which case you'll end up in traffic court. That's where I found myself recently after...
Kim Bongiorno

BIO

How to Get Your Kids to Bed in a Few (Dozen) Easy Steps

Kim Bongiorno | September 16, 2014 | Parents
All it takes is a practiced routine, a few (dozen) simple steps, and the patience of a saint to guide your kids to a night of dreamy splendor.
Spencer Green

BIO

Democrats Will Place President Obama In Suspended Animation Through 2014 Midterm Elections

Spencer Green | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
The process of placing the President in suspended animation will involve a metal compound made of carbon and tibanna gas used to smuggle items or transport people across the galaxy.
Kerry O'Brien

BIO

My Amazing Facebook Vacation

Kerry O'Brien | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Although it was a magical experience, there are a few things I would do differently on my next Facebook vacation. Here are some tips if you're about to embark on the journey.
Julie Meyer Taylor

BIO

The 7 Emotional Stages of a Sleepover Birthday Party

Julie Meyer Taylor | September 16, 2014 | Parents
After a 30-minute-car ride of listening to poop and butt jokes, you arrive at the laser tag arena. Dread begins to fill your heart, as the attendant has just informed you that there is NO ROOM for your party of 13. Your palms begin to sweat.
Seriously Skewed

BIO

In Stunning Twist, England Leaves United Kingdom Instead of Scotland!

Seriously Skewed | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
It is rumored that the British were forced to make this sudden decision when the Scots threatened to invade England wearing nothing but kilts -- and more disturbingly -- no underwear.
Steven Shehori

BIO

Say Hello to Canada's Funniest Comedian

Steven Shehori | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Comedy isn't like baseball: there are few empirical statistics from which to derive talent, performance, and yep, even pay scales. This all said, it's of my strong opinion that Toronto's Alex Nussbaum is Canada's funniest comedian.
Tarja Parssinen

BIO

So, Your Son Is In Preschool

Tarja Parssinen | September 16, 2014 | Parents
After the Time of Potty, he washed his hands and his clothes and the floor and those around him. And then poopeth he did go. Not on the potty, but behind the potted plant. Because it was safe. And they sighed deeply and whispered the Prayer of the Pull-Up.
Greg Mania

In the Future Everyone Will Own a Free U2 Album for 15 Minutes

Greg Mania | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Now that you've deleted it let's stop focusing on trivial matters like what band bulldozes their way onto our playlists, and start focusing on the things that do matter -- like what could possibly be keeping Gwen Stefani from aging.
Tom Falco

BIO

You Too? U2 Ends Up in Your Song Rotation

Tom Falco | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Kiley Roache

9 Steps of Cleaning Out Your Room

Kiley Roache | September 16, 2014 | Teen
You'll wanna start with boy band pop because you're a happy bubbly person who's gonna have a clean desk, but you'll end up blasting "Welcome to the Black Parade" as you lie among the desolate piles old paper clips, driver's ed paperwork and illegible to-do lists from 2006.
Nancy Ruhling

BIO

Astoria Characters: The Stand-Up Man

Nancy Ruhling | September 16, 2014 | New York
This is no joke. The pancakes are damn good. Tom Daddario had wondered whether he should make them. As a stand-up comic, he's obsessed with getting the last laugh.
Marcia Liss

BIO

Don't it always seem to go...

Marcia Liss | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Galanty Miller

BIO

We Are All to Blame for Ray Rice's Suspension

Galanty Miller | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
Domestic violence isn't funny. But the absurdity and hypocrisy regarding the Ray Rice incident is sort of amusing.
Boris Kunofski

Are Nerds the New Sex Symbols?

Boris Kunofski | September 16, 2014 | Comedy
When hornrims and grandma sweaters are sexy - Arno Nym investigative Part 2 Today - We live in strange times. Signs seem to change to the opposite, maybe a new world order is on it's way. It is so obvious: Hornrims are sexy,...
GSElevator

BIO

19 Essential Rules for Office Bathroom Etiquette

GSElevator | September 15, 2014 | Business
No long conversations at the urinal (a simple "Hey man" or nod is acceptable). And, absolutely no talking between stalls.
Kimanzi Constable

BIO

8 Unrealistic Expectations Parents Have for Their Kids

Kimanzi Constable | September 15, 2014 | Parents
Our children mess up. They lie to us, they're sneaky, they don't listen and they know how to push all the wrong buttons. I'm not telling you something you don't already know. However, despite what our kids do to make us mad at times, we do things that are probably just as irritating.
Greg White

BIO

Facebook Is 'Like' My Pet Monkey

Greg White | September 15, 2014 | Comedy
I had a pet monkey. It was awesome. Sometimes. He was wild. He was a lot of responsibility. He was like... Facebook.
Doug Molitor

BIO

Doug's Dozen: 12 Job Interview Questions for the Next NFL Commissioner

Doug Molitor | September 15, 2014 | Comedy
11. Essay question: Tell your interviewer the biggest lie you can think of, without stammering or blinking.
Bil Hitchcock

My Daddy Taught Me Not to Read Directions

Bil Hitchcock | September 15, 2014 | Comedy
Now Daddy loved gadgets... and when he was strolling through the huge Sears store on Main Street in Dothan, AL he came upon a Christmas Tree Flocking Kit. It was a fairly simple affair.
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