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Paul Szep

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The Daily Szep -- Different channels

Paul Szep | Posted November 11, 2009 | Comedy


Read More: Cartoon
Suzette Standring

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A-Rod, Men and Other Mythical Beasts

Suzette Standring | Posted November 11, 2009 | Sports


Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees is a mythical beast. At least he thinks so. The champion third baseman has a painting of himself as a centaur hanging in his bedroom, according to a tattletale ex-fling. Thanks to Twitter-mania, a curiosity among kids has been sparked in Greek...

Sophie Pollitt-Cohen

BIO

What I Learned Running The New York City Marathon

Sophie Pollitt-Cohen | Posted November 11, 2009 | Comedy


What I learned Running The New York City Marathon: Things To Avoid

Dogs that might bite you. It's hard to run if your leg is gushing blood all over the place and hurting you. Also, the blood makes the ground slippery, and other runners will get mad at you, no...

Matthew Filipowicz

BIO

Tom Cruise Talks About Beating Disobedient Scientologists

Matthew Filipowicz | Posted November 11, 2009 | Comedy


As you may have seen, the New York Daily News is reporting that a top lieutenant in the Church of Scientology is claiming that Tom Cruise offered to:

Personally "beat the living [bleep]" out of disobedient Scientologists

Leading Scientologists, and Cruise's lawyer have disputed the claim. And now,...

Beth Armogida

BIO

My Review of Sarah Palin's New Book Going Rogue Without Actually Having Read It

Beth Armogida | Posted November 11, 2009 | Comedy


Former Governor Sarah Palin's imperceptibly anticipated memoir called Going Rogue is out in stores and churches on November 17th. Of course, there's no chance in hell I'm reading her autobiography. But, since I feel indebted to Governor Palin for inspiring Tina Fey's awesome impersonation, the least I can do is...

Paul Abrams

BIO

Republicans File Constitutional Amendment Limiting Bills to 5 Pages

Paul Abrams | Posted November 11, 2009 | Comedy


"It [your opera] had too many notes, remove a few and it will be perfect"
--Emperor to Mozart in Amadeus.

The battle for the soul of the Republican Party is over. Conservatives and the moderate have come together behind a constitutional amendment that would prohibit Congress from passing any...

Jeff Danziger

BIO

Mickey and Carrie

Jeff Danziger | Posted November 11, 2009 | Comedy


Read More: Cartoon

2009-11-11-dancart4169.jpg

Andy Borowitz

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Carrie Prejean's Vibrator Signs Book Deal

Andy Borowitz | Posted November 11, 2009 | Comedy


NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - In a move that took many in the publishing industry by surprise, the vibrator of former Miss California Carrie Prejean signed a deal today to write a tell-all memoir.

The book, tentatively titled "Still Buzzing," will offer what the publisher called a "vibrator's eye...

Tom Gregory

BIO

The Lloyd¹s Prayer

Tom Gregory | Posted November 11, 2009 | Comedy


THE LLOYD's Prayer

Our Chairman,
Who Art At Goldman,
Blankfein Be Thy Name.
The Rally's Come. God's Work Be Done
On Earth As There's No Fear Of Correction.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Gains,
And Bankrupt Our Competitors
As You Taught...

Steve Marmel

BIO

Hey, Carrie (and Chris Brown, and Jon Gosselin, and Others) -- You Can Leave Now

Steve Marmel | Posted November 11, 2009 | Media


So, Carrie Prejean is having a bit of week, isn't she?

I mean, one week you're the darling of the conservative movement, and the next thing you know, you're being called a hypocrite as your image as a high-falutin' blonde ball of judgment stops meshing with the low-falutin'...

Chris Holt

BIO

Dispatches From the Whole Foods Produce Aisle

Chris Holt | Posted November 10, 2009 | Comedy


In the heart of a community where political statements occur on t-shirts and in bay windows, it is best to be dressed to impress. Especially when purchasing groceries.

You don't just go to Whole Foods to pick up groceries. The only place you're guaranteed to run into someone with...

Andy Borowitz

BIO

Damning New Memo Compares Afghanistan to Jay Leno Show

Andy Borowitz | Posted November 10, 2009 | Comedy


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - A scathing new memo on Afghanistan written by one of President Obama's top security advisors emphasizes the futility of a continued U.S. military presence there, at one point going so far as to compare the war to NBC's "Jay Leno Show."

"When you go at...

Erica Watson

BIO

BCC: Bitchy Computer Complaints

Erica Watson | Posted November 10, 2009 | Comedy


Just when you have nothing to BLOG about, God sends you an email message like this:

Erica,

May I offer a suggestion? If you are sending out an email to multiple people, please send it under BCC and don't leave addresses exposed to be picked up and used on other...

Tom Gregory

BIO

Vatican Confirms: Goldman "Doing God's Work"

Tom Gregory | Posted November 10, 2009 | Comedy


(Reuterz: Rome)

L'Osservatore Romano is reporting that Goldman Sachs is indeed Doing God's work, and His Former Holiness Joseph Ratzinger has confirmed the unsolicited hostile takeover. Writing under his pen name Benedict XVI, Ratzinger verified that total control of the popular religion has been transferred to Goldman Sachs and His...

Matthew Filipowicz

BIO

Rupert Murdoch Plans To Block More Than Just Google

Matthew Filipowicz | Posted November 10, 2009 | Comedy


As you might have heard, Rupert Murdoch, the Chairman and CEO of News Corp., stated in an interview with Sky News Australia that

He will remove stories from Google's search index as a way to encourage people to pay for content online.

News Corp. owns the Wall Street...

Ben Berkon

BIO

iPhone Application Enables Parents to Keep Track of Who's Sleeping With Their Slutty Daughter

Ben Berkon | Posted November 9, 2009 | Comedy


2009-11-04-islut2.png
In technology news, the worlds of overbearing parents and their slutty offspring have finally collided with the release of the iSlut. The iSlut is an easy-to-use iPhone application that enables parents to keep track of who's sleeping with their slutty daughter.

"It completely...

John Marshall

BIO

House Votes to Move Up End of World From 2012 to 2010

John Marshall | Posted November 9, 2009 | Comedy


WASHINGTON - Buoyed by the passage of Saturday's health care bill, the House of Representatives today voted to skootch up the end of the world to 2010, to give lawmakers a chance to address it before the mid-term elections.

They also included a provision allowing individual states to "opt out"...

Andy Borowitz

BIO

Goldman Sachs Not Doing "God's Work," Says Satan

Andy Borowitz | Posted November 9, 2009 | Comedy


NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Goldman Sachs' Chief Executive Lloyd Blankfein's comment that bankers are doing "God's work" came under fire today from one of the longest-standing allies of the firm, Satan, the Prince of Darkness.

In a rare press conference, the usually reclusive Beelzebub blasted Mr. Blankfein for...

Katie Halper

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The Week In Headlines

Katie Halper | Posted November 9, 2009 | Comedy


Pics

Lee Camp

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Breaking News: Hot Starlet Spotted Naked or Partially Naked or Not-So-Naked!

Lee Camp | Posted November 9, 2009 | Comedy


All posts from 11.11.2009 < 11.10.2009