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10:38 AM on 01/29/2012
I expected this to be light and humorous, and it was. Kudos to the parents who make the effort for their kids, but there is no black / white, right/wrong. The author has valid feelings of inadequacy in some areas, as do we all. I get it - the bake sales, teacher's nights, kid parties, sports, scouts, clubs, lessons - it all can be overwhelming at times, but I'm sure any parent would agree that our kids are worth it!
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artist5153
10:24 AM on 01/29/2012
Some of you seem to be taking this woman's little essay here too seriously--offering her advice how to overcome her unfortunate upbringing or chastising her for her admitted failings, and encouraging her to "girl up." This is supposed to be comedy. It was a stab at an Erma Bombeck-like diatribe about the trials and tribulations of attempting to be a domestic goddess without the skills and experience to make it happen. It did not succeed in being Bombeck at all--but I saw the direction she was going and, far from believing this woman has not the ability to do these things, recognize that she was attempting to "roast" the super-woman expectations put on women to be the do-all, be-all for everyone. Bottom line: It's a joke.
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crimminy
07:56 PM on 02/03/2012
If you have to explain a joke, it's not very funny....
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09:33 AM on 01/29/2012
Is there a point to this? It went nowhere.
09:08 AM on 01/29/2012
Ma'am, I guess you mean this article to be funny, but you sound kind of pitiful. I'm going to echo the sentiments of the earlier poster who advised you to "Learn what you want to know like the rest of us did". These are not innate skills that are possessed by the Illuminati of Women or Men. To learn, you watch others who do a thing well, find a youtube video, read magazines or online blogs, tune in to cable TV, or go to a class at a local shop.
As for the "thank you" cards, if you've ever received one, well.....you've got a template for how to write one. My handwriting is rough too, thanks to the fact that I keyboard more than I hand-write items, but I can clean it up long enough to write, "Thank you so much for thinking of me. I appreciate your kind birthday gift!"
You can either revel in your inabilities, or you can choose a simple thing and learn to do it. Rarely does a first attempt turn out well, but you get it right eventually if you really want to do it.
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crimminy
02:05 PM on 01/29/2012
This is Ms Strasser's gimmick - the poor me, I've got it so bad, I'm no good....it's getting old. The truth is probably much different.
03:38 PM on 01/29/2012
LOL! You are probably right. I find it hard to believe that a person who writes for a living can't put together a coherent text message, thank you card, or email. Remind me not to read any more of her prose.
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htimsr40
Read Me, Doctor Memory??
08:56 AM on 01/29/2012
"her taste was so gauche it's almost impossible to describe my childhood home. Suffice to say, there were grotesque African masks on the walls, mismatched batik silk scarves hung poorly in the hallways and most days, crusted, days-old food clinging to a pan on the back burner."

And yet you turned out "okay"? The reality of life ... the values that parents have are an important part of raising children, but the "details" like taste in art? ... irrelevant. Too many parents worry about too many things. Nurture and love your children. Then stop whining and get on with life. If others don't like your pensmanship, too bad so sad. Over it.
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crimminy
02:07 PM on 01/29/2012
Exactly
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08:49 AM on 01/29/2012
And the purpose of this mindless fluff was what again?
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maryk4d4
that is exactly what I said
08:28 AM on 01/29/2012
Tell ya what Teresa, you grab Andrew Danjumbo and the WYWO truck and trailer and come over to my house...And I will overlook your penmanship!
08:18 AM on 01/29/2012
You certainly have a gift for writing! If you want "girlie skills", then learn them like the rest of us, which often involves trial and error, and falling flat on your face occasionally.
If they aren't important to you, then don't worry about it. By the way, I've never criticized anyone for sending a thank you note. It's an expression of gratitude. The absence of thanks, is far worse.
09:11 AM on 01/29/2012
Well said.
09:48 AM on 01/29/2012
Yup I totally agree with you, but overall, isn't it sad for us that we are even commenting on this lazy person's view of life? Can't even believe I am doing this, but you are right. Sounds like just an excuse for not caring about anyone but yourself to me! Our society, in general, has just been too lazy to continue the social graces. They can't be bothered with sending or having their kids send a TY note, but if you showed up to party without a gift for their little angel ... watch the telephone calls and fireworks then!
10:26 AM on 01/29/2012
Agreed. It's not like the author is fretting about not knowing how to rock-climb, blow glass into creative shapes, assemble a wedding-ring quilt, or build a survival wilderness lean-to. She's carping about not being to reply to a text message, write a plain "thank you" card, or send a timely email. She's calling them "girlie" skills when actually they are no more complex than brushing your teeth before you leave the house or hitting the "send" button on a phone. If she can operate a phone or laptop, she can do all the things she's wailing about. They are not "girlie" skills, they are common, human abilities in a modern world.
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phoebequeen
I blame the dog
05:40 PM on 01/28/2012
I too have the handwriting of a serial killer. However, I was taught to send thank you notes. Period. Have taught my son to do the same, to shake hands of the winner and tell them ,congradulations, and, to hold the door open for people. It's just manners. It's making the effort that is important. Lighten up on yourself, no one needs to be perfect.
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WilliamL
09:16 AM on 01/28/2012
Prior to my time as a stay at home dad, I had no experience caring for children. The idea of being a stay a home dad was so beyond my experience/reality it was on a basic level frieghtening. "Me, care for an infant ?" I wanted to and learned.

I don't see how sending thank you cards, keeping/organizing a home, knowing when your children's clothes dont fit is considered being a "girlie girl" but would fall along the lines of being a parent, adult. I put stickers on walls in combo with paiting rooms pink, purple, and so on and so forth. I learned to coordinate outfits and so on and don't see that as making me any less of a man. I work well with clothes, colors, can cook better than average when I care to, know how a house sd. flow, like lighting to be a certain way, and if need be butcher and clean game.

Men get the riot act for not doing their part, being present, and so on and so forth and then read things such as this. Sending a thank you note is not being girlie girl but being a responsible and thoughtful adult. Men don't get to make excuses for poor parenting in the way women do and is another example of the double standards.
12:19 AM on 01/28/2012
Jeez. Someone likes to think they're "too cool for school." These "too cool to care" people drive me koo-koo bananas. Get over yourself. This is hardly a story worth reading.
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crimminy
01:35 PM on 01/27/2012
Teresa, no one is Martha Stewart or Tori Spelling (Ever seen Tori's Birthday parties?) Firstly, your argument may have made sense in 1985, but this is 2012, and all the Mom's (and Dads) I know send e cards for parties, and usually send emails back as "Thank You" notes. Sure there's still the traditional times to send out hand written notes (Weddings, or for close friends/family members), but we're in the digital age, and there's no shame in sending E Cards. Also, re your Mom, remember you grew up for the most part in San Francisco, and that was the time of multicultural decor so your Mom's home probably was very much like everyone else's in the 1970's. Lastly, I know no Mom (or Dad) who uses "China." Or if they do it's neatly tucked away. We all have those mismatched Target/Corelle/tacky plastic plates. So overall, I just didn't get this post....
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nix28
Ignorance stirs my inner demon...Sorry.
02:02 AM on 01/27/2012
Not to bust your bubble, but none of these traits are particularly girlie. They're domestic, and you don't need ovaries to perform them. I'm not by any means a girlie girl, but I can do these things, and I learned to do these things from my mother, who is also by even less means a girlie girl. It's really a matter of wanting to learn how to do these things and then learning how to do them. Some people, despite their best efforts, are domestically challenged, as I like to say. Play up your other strong traits.
12:07 PM on 01/26/2012
Right there with you. And I have 3 girls! Everyone expects even more girlie-ness from you as a Mom when you have girls. I don't "craft" anything, I can't sew costumes, I hate cooking, I can't do hair or care about fashion. I despise shopping and avoid the mall at all costs. But you know what? I have totally embraced it and decided that I, nor my girls, are hurt by my lack of girlie knowledge. Who has decided all that stereotypical girl stuff is what womanhood is about anyway? We've never had barbies or glitter or princess costumes around here. Instead, we read good books of all kinds, we play and write music, they enjoy theatre and computer programming and drawing and whatever else they want to pursue. We don't value looks above substance. And the Moms that all want to shop and drink lattes all day. They can go hang out together while I do things my own way. I don't think I'm missing a thing.
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ThatIsJustGreat
08:24 AM on 01/29/2012
Breath of fresh air, Heather! Substance over looks rocks! I grew up learning how to sew. Hate it. I do not hate cooking, but I do not love it either. I have the writer's angst and I have a boy. Yet the expectations she talks about are there. They are expectations put on moms, by other moms. I don't miss those moms or their narrow view of life and parenting.
11:05 AM on 01/26/2012
OMG!!! I think you and I were separated at birth!!!
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
*sigh* I don't feel so all alone anymore!